All Comments on 'Allison Ch. 01'

one word says it all

Rectal goo?? There is nothing hot or sexy about that.

most of it anyway...rectal goo, not my thing, otherwise GREAT story!

Ignore the rubbish comments. It will be another great story by the time you finish the last chapter.

It promises to be a great story. Like your other stories it has full quota of well defined characters and grrrreat sex.

Great subject, great story, but too much description of "monstrosity", "garganturous", "massive" cocks, etc. Ruined it for me. Lost my great hard-on with "pushing solids back" in rectum! Ugggg.

You're not a native-speaker of English, are you? You can't spell; you don't understand English (or American English) idioms; and some of your would-be "sentences' are so ungrammatical as to be simply nonsense.

Leave off the repetitive adjectives about the brothers' cocks. We know they have big cocks. Once is enough. OK?

Please get someone who knows English grammar and spelling to edit your work before you send it in.

Sue Clarendon

Los Angeles

This was a great story and I really enjoyed it you did good job.can't wait to read more it was so good keep up the good work

You definitely need an editor, but the sex was hot and the characters were great. I look forward to lots more, but hopefully you'll take a little more time to proofread in the future.

I enjoyed the overall theme. You blended kink with romance nicely. Yes, you had several editing issues however you can work them out over time. Just watch out for redundant descriptions, it tended to slow down the flow of a scene. By the way, f- off anonymous. Even If this author is not a native english speaker, this person still seems to have more an advanced grasp of vocabulary than your remedial self. Be constructive not trite.

I agree with SmittenKitten1the 'Anonymous' comment [from Sue Clarendon

Los Angeles] is infact ludicrous. If 'she or he' enjoys fruits of free labour at least she can offer editorial abilities of her self acclaimed understanding of grammar,spelling etc.

This is a very good example of what a solid erotic story should be. It is descriptive, has a sense of timing and allows readers to imagine the characters much better than published erotica that people pay for.

Her brother's could at least give her a breat huh???

Harrie, This is really good. I fail to understand lazy couch hogs who read free work and rather than prove their 'Literary Self-Proclaimed Worth 'insult the authors.

I find them tiresome

Seema.

This story was very good I blew my load multiple times

Reminds me of the double teaming my brother and gave my cousin

#real incest

Can't wait your next story

You kept mixing up his and her and you never mentioned exactly how big they were

Gargantuan cock copious amounts of cum. Just your wording all the time turned me off. And who is going to lick snot out of someone's nose? That done it for me nasty .