by andtheend
I always knew you were a nice person at heart. That you’d accept the will of the people and only enter one story in the OFFICIAL 2010 NUDE DAY CONTEST
"Brother & Sister Celebrate Nude Day" is a wonderful story! A mature, literate work from a talented author. I was happy to give it a “5”.
Good luck in the contest!
jim scouries
miami beach
Wow! This was a hot story, not like some of the other incest stories I've read here. The way that you built up the suspense made this story. I felt I was in the room with you watching her strip.
Thank you, Scouries for awarding me a 5 vote. Unfortunately, you are a bit premature in your comment about me only entering one story in the contest. It's true that I am only entering one story...at a time, but I have nine more stories to enter for a total of 10 storeis. I hope you will be as generous with your votes for my other stories. I'm sorry to disappoint you.
Hey, you always deserve a 5 star rating. You are the best and I am a sick person and very much enjoyed how you put this whole story together.Yeah life does get in the way and things do happen. thanks
Your story was chosen for highlighting in the Story Feedback section under your Andtheend thread.
I gave you a 5 vote. I would have given you a 10 vote if I could. I would have voted for your story multiple times, if I could.
You are an amazing writer and this story is hot, sizzling hot. I loved it. Good job and you are a good person for helping other writers by highlighting their stories and giving them all 5 votes. I sincerely hope they are as generous with your story, as you have been with their stories.
I like incest stories. My brother and I did it when we were younger. I'd do him again, but he died.
This was a good story. I enjoyed it.
New to the site. Love the story.
I only wish she was my sister. I'd do her. Hot striptease scene.
Good luck in the contest.
Great incest story.
I couldn't have written a better story.
Hot and erotic.
Good luck in the contest.
Normally, I don't read such disgusting and disturbing stories, but I enjoyed this one.
It reminded me the time spent with my sister before I entered the seminary...never mind.
Good story.
May God bless you with a contest win.
Amen.
Okay, I didn't know what the Father wrote and I'm hoping it wasn't about me.
Yes, we are related. We're brother and sister but I can assure you that it only happened that one time, maybe twice. Okay, 3 times but it was before he was a priest and before I was a nun.
This story reminded me of, well, those were the days.
God bless you. Peace be with you.
Thank you for reading, voting, and commenting on my story.
Thrilling story with just the right mix of narative, dialogue, erotica, and tension.
Good luck in the contest, Susan.
The sex scene with his sister and the amount of time you took to get there, oh my God.
I shot my load 3 times, before I reached the end.
This is the hottest incest story I ever read, including the one by WmForrester, I Love You Mommy! That was a hot story, but this is even better.
I have to read it again.
I always thought it was we English who had a lock on incest stories. I must say though that this story was rather jolly good.
Incest is the Devil's playground and you're going to go to Hell for diddling your sister.
I like it. I'll see you in Hell.
Did you people read the same story that I did? It was lousy, repetitive and childish, and that was the good parts.
Me thinks someone has a lot of alt accounts and is just fluffing himself.
It was repetative, the dialog was unrealistic, and you should have gotten an editor. They said the same stuff over and over, they talked like real people wouldnt, and you should have had someone look it over for simple spelling errors.
To the poster below. You're telling me to check for spelling errors, you're telling me that I should have had an editor for a 16,000 word story, when you can't even write two lousy sentences without making spelling and grammatical errors.
You're a joke buddy and just a basher.
I actually read the whole story. They played their game over and over again, enough that even if she was The Body Beautiful a sane man would have walked out on her. It was a nice story idea over cooked.
But I see you've gotten all your alts to comment. So sad. You're a prolific writer, but not a very good one.
to use their alts. to plug their own story(Eldridge, Saraah, Boston Fiction Writer, Average Writer etc.)then we can only counter them with a low score. Utter drivel this.
Read, don't read, vote, don't vote, what does it matter? It matters not what you do or don't do.
The proof is in the story. Either you like it or you don't. Either you read it or you don't. Either you vote it low or high, the story still remains.
You can't ignore it, you can only praise it or bash it. It is the elephant in the room and what a beautiful elephant it is.
Andtheend did an amazing job with this story, a sexy sister teasing her horny brother at a time when they both needed something in their lives, after failing miserably with everything they touched. Now together, it is as much an incest story as it is a love story.
Bashers beware because what comes around goes around and whatever you bash now will return to haunt you later, when writing your own story. There's karma in the world, good and bad. I'd rather stay with the good than the bad. It's your choice which one you choose.
She had it all planned, EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. Whether or not her boyfriend had broken up with her. She wanted her brother & there was no way in hell that she wasn't going to get him!
I doubt a single one of the positive comments on this trash came from a real person EXCEPT the ones from the puppet master him/herself, BFW/AndTheEnd. Which of you is pulling the strings this week? And when you talk to your alts and then answer them with other alts, it really makes one wonder about your level of sanity. Seek therapy and for God's sake, stop writing garbage.
Thank you all for your comments.
I had fun writing the story. For me, incest stories should always be more than just sex. They should have a twist, whether it's lust or love.
I understand your need to give feedback and set stages during the sex scenes, but WTF!!!! You have no idea how to set up a scene before you get into the scene. there was so much filler that it became a chore to read and i found myself skipping whole paragraphs to keep me focused on your plot. You need to keep the reader in mind when you are writing and yes in your 16,000 word drivil fest... GET A FUCKING EDITOR...
An editor would have told you that you were using too much of a good thing. Once he (the brother) realized that it was a game and you told us it was, then you do not need to keep up with so much filler.
You were writing to write, not to entertain. it became a chore to read and i wanted to stop. it took me three days to read your story and the only reason i did was because i thought that you would be wise enough to switch tactics somewhere and get more into your story and take it to a different level, but instead you kept us at a distance with drivil. learn to take us deeper into the characters ahd you will be a better writer.
WTF to you basher who isn't man enough to leave a name with his comment.
I write for my audience and based on the feedback I receive the e-mails, the PM's, and the tens of thousands of hits, this is the story that my audience wants.
This is Literotica, an erotica literature site. We tease sexually with erotica. We just don't dump a sex scene with no beginning, middle, and end, with no character description and development, with no imagery, with no mix of dialogue and narative and call it a day.
I write stories and if your brain cannot handle reading a mere 16,000 word short story that it took you 3 days to read, tell me, how long does it take you to read a 60,000 word book.
Your comment is a joke, especially when compared to the other comments and hits that I receive.
If you don't like me as an author, avoid me. If you don't like my stories, don't read them. Why on Earth someone would spend 3 days reading an author and a story they hate is beyond me.
You have issues, Dude. Maybe you should seek therapy.
You’ve written a very good story! Good luck in the contest.
But I must say that I don’t think it’s fair that other contestants are entering stories in the contest with the voting turned off. I thought these contests were to be decided by the votes of readers and won not by back room deals like the last contest was. I don’t think it’s fair to authors like you who play by the rules!
So I’d just like to know why the story by D K Moon (aka the moonman), “Under the Moonday Sun: the Lake” was accepted when it clearly contrived Rule #10 of the contest.
FYI Rule #10 reads in part: Turning off voting on a story at any point - for any reason - disqualifies a submission from any and all contests.
Why can’t this man play fair?
-a concerned reader
For your information, not that I owe you an explanation, my votes are turned on and not off.
Further, I turned off my votes, after it was obvious that I didn't even receive the minimum votes required, 25, to be considered as a contest entry.
Are we done here or do you have more bashing to do, asswipe?
I too read and then tried to vote on D_K_Moon's NUDE DAY CONTEST story but they wouldn't let me. At the time I wondered why they allowed him to enter the contest with the voting turned off.
Now I find out it's AGAINST THE RULES! So why are they letting him get away with it?
BTW - your story mr andtheend was very good! I gave it a 5 (divided by two since you have two entries in the contest - mind you I did round the result upward).
Good luck sir!
A reader from India
It's unfortunate that you voted already. You should have waited until I post my other 8 stories and then you could have divided your 5 vote by ten and given all my stories a zero.
Get a life.
Sahib andtheend,
Thank you for your kind reply. You’ve become one of my favorite LITEROTICA authors. And you give us so many stories to choose from!
Have you ever been to India sahib? Your stories (your many stories!) always seem to have a sensuousness to them that is so typical of our erotic soul.
This story in fact struck particularly close to my heart as it evoked some of my fondest memories. My family ( my father, mother and two elder sisters) made the long pilgrimage to Varanasi and the waters of the sacred river Ganges when I was just a lad. The memories of that day, as I stood knee deep in the holy water, nude and erect, watching my sisters and mother bathe, seeing naked women for the first time, will stay with me always.
Perhaps you could set one of your remaining 8 contest stories in my country. “Ganges Girls” or "Varanasi Virgins Violated" perhaps.
Or maybe I could induce you with a few rupees to write my families story. Please advise if you’re interested in receiving such a commission.
But you know, I’m still interested in knowing how that D_K_Moon person got away with breaking the rules.
Your friend Raajeev
My mother almost named me Raajeev. Anyway...
Please enlist more of your family members, even if you must drive them all to Banglidesh to use a computer at the computer cafe to vote and comment on my stories.
I figure you you can interest a million or so of your fellow countrymen and relatives, I'd have a shot at winning a contest around here.
By the way, the next time you make my Reebok sneakers, I'm not complaining, but can you add a little bit more padding on the innersole? Thanks.
By the way, the more comments you make to my stories, the higher up the list they go of stories with the most comments.
Thank you in advance for the million or so votes you plan on giving my stories. If you can do that for me, I'll send you nude photos of my sister. Okay, Raajeev?
"Gees, what are the odds that we'd almost have the same name. Wow. Weird."
As far as DK Moon, I don't know the man. I heard he steals the stories of other writers, which is why, maybe, he doesn't have his voting turned on. I heard he's a plagiarist.
wow really enjoyed it, the end was to fast..
what a shame, no titfucking =)
plz more
5/5 !!!
I love this story!!
The humor! The slow seduction! The back & forth banter between the siblings! Wonderful!!
You're just being silly wring that my story has no value.
Where's your story? Have you written one? I bet you don't even have a story entered in the contest and you have the nerve to write my story has no value, when your non-existent story has zero, zilch, na-da value.
Basher!
I loved the teasing and the playfulness of the brother and sister very HOT!!!!!!!!!
of the hundreds of stories on b/s this was the most fun and erotic thanks #1
I luv the way your creative mind works... KEEP WRITING!!!
Ace
Any story that pulls 48 comments has to have something going for it. I fell asleep twice and it only took me three hours,(just having fun). I've been 47 years and still haven't been able to finish War and Peace. The story is still worth a 5. I loved it, and when you can get a Priest and a Nun to each score an incest story with a 5 that makes it sacred. (I hope God doesn't get me for that one.)
Way too much back story. We totally got the fact that you're in love with your sister by the third paragraph, there's no need to repeat that over and over and over. Waaaaayyy too much repetition of the theme of incest. You don't have to tell the reader exactly how you're feeling at every juncture, let some of that play out in the reader's mind. This story would be much better if you had somebody edit it for you for the sake of streamlining it to avoid clutter and too much self-talk. I couldn't get through the first page! Sorry.
P.O.S = PIECE of SHIT! First look up the definition of "holiday". National Anything Day does not make it a holiday.
Going on and on about nothing is a sign of piss poor writing.
First story I had to stop reading after half a page. Too bad there isn't a DELETE botton that readers can use to get rid of garbage like this.
Some people should never try writing! The same people should take the hint after seeing ALL the NEGATIVE comments. Suggestion, you tried writing and now you know that you can't, GIVE IT UP and give us a break.
I haven't come across a story worse than this. My head hurts literally. Same thing being repeated all over again. No momentum. Nothing. Bullshit. You should stop writing.
not something i will read again, you should keep writing, make sure you read through it and make sure it flows better then this, its kinda awful, in time it will get better, just dont stop writing, any type of topic, make sure you go back through it, also repetition is not that appealing unless you can make it fit, i use it, not here but somewhere else, i wont name it because i think the terms and conditions wont let it happen, this is comments so some rules i can get away with, mostly. Just keep at it and you will get better.
Excellent portrayal of the dynamics and psyche of the brother and of the sister, You bring out the brother's character flaw of trying to mask his questionable behavior with slimy excuses and accusations, and the sister's pressure for him to br real and transparent.
I wouldn't take to heart negative comments from people too pussy to even leave a name! This is a stroke site, if your looking for Dostoevsky, you're on the wrong site. This story made me cum and that's what I visit the site for. Good job! Jim (I will also appear as anonymous as I haven't got a literotica account)
Ignore all the stupid asshole negative comments. The slow buildup did a great job for my my sexual fantasy life. My own sister nor mother never appealed to me but thinking of other women it revs my motor real good. I think only a woman or a real sensual man could write a story like this. A mans story is typically slam bam and if lucky thank you maam.
I thought that the sisters teasing was very effective. I didn't know what she was up to for a while, much the same as the brother. I haven't seen another story that had this same element.
I only have 2 criticisms:
1.) She kept stating the purpose of National Nude Day. The same dialog over and over got redundant very quickly.
2.) The focus on the parents death felt odd and the shift to sexy stuff was a bit rough.
I did like the overall premise and you did a good job laying the background (voyeur/exhibitionist, childhood teasing). A good set-up really helps with the slow burn that I've come to expect from incest stories.
Overall it was a nice story, keep writing!
you are a lucky man to be in love and married to your sister hope all 3 of you celabrate nude day every year
I was afraid you were going to end this story before they fucked. I would have been really pissed. You got me so worked up and thought it might end too soon. I loved the story. It makes me want to fuck my sister.
You are a beautiful woman, why are you writing as the brother?
I would like to see a woman's view on erotic stories.
I liked the story line, but it started to get boring, all the repeat teasing & all, but I agree with the other comment, post it like it you telling it...
That was hot. When I was young my brothers almost fucked me. They made me come as they rubbed my clit with their cocks instead.
Extremely repetitive. Very annoying. Every paragraph starts with a narration of all previous points. Could have been a good story but just annoyed the hell out of me!
The brother’s constant reflection and fantasizing in place of actual dialogue and an interesting plot is pedantic and sophomoric. Take a creative writing class. This is NOT good.