All Comments  for

Doc Ch. 08

bykingkey©
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Comments (9)
by Anonymous

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by AllosaurusRex07/09/10

Great

please keep it comming, but can you please make the chapters longer, I just get into the story when it is cut off.

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by Anonymous07/09/10

This is erotic literature? Go write a G rated novel

I plowed my way through 8 episodes waiting for something erotic . Then when he finally gets to make love to the twins, you write the scene with no passion or sex. You are a good writer, but you should write somewhere else because this is not erotic at all.

Sorry but this sucked!!

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by Anonymous07/09/10

Crikey, no one likes Westerns any more ?

There's nothing wrong with it, you two previous posters,

The Length is what the Author Decides.
And as for sex, did you not realise this is a WESTERN. In True Tradition, the curtain is Closed on the Bedroom. Apart from which, one of the ladies has a broken arm!!

Cheers,
Kilroy.

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by Anonymous07/09/10

Great Read

Unlike the previous Poster who wanted more sex, I enjoy this story. It should not be a story just built around sex scenes. It should be insightful, knowledable, and entertaining. You have fulfilled this. Not everyone is here to read about straight out sex. Most of use want a story that grabs our attention. Ignore the (one) disastisfied poster and keep doing what you are doing. Thanx

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by xtremedd07/09/10

KK Chooses to write. I choose to (enjoy) read. Writes good too.

KK,

Difference is, (referring to Anonymous) I find stories I like to read. Happiness is where U find it.... Great story KK

x

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by Anonymous07/09/10

Great Story

Yours is the first story on this site that I enjoyed so much that I look for a new chapter each day. I will have to agree with the comment that the chapters are too short. I just get started reading them and get back into the story and I am to the end. I am looking forward to seeing where you take this story from here. Keep up the good work.

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by Anonymous07/09/10

Great

I can't wait for each new chapter everyday!

Wonderful writing and imagery.

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by Anonymous07/10/10

Weird, but I agree w/ ALL the previous posters...

...because I cruise this site to find stroke stories that not only arouses my genitalia, but feeds my mind, too. This is the first series in the last three years that I follow, even though I don't get a sexual rush off on it.

Author, would it have been too hard to get inside Two Live's head for the sex? DESCRIBING what about the twins' "charms" he found appealing and arousing? Describing the care he took with Running Deer's arm during the act? Describing Little Doe's sisterly aid [with Two Lives] to make the experience easier and safer for her sister?

Describing the difference between the sisters [Obvious: cowgirl for Running Deer, knees-to-chest-missionary or doggy-style for Little Doe. Subtle: discovering the little but significant quirks that gets one of them off, but doesn't work on the other. Emotional: the difference between being saved and fearing-for/watching a loved one being saved (and positions reversed for the two separate scenarios) and how that makes them feel toward Two Lives. Afterglow: which one prefers going to sleep holding his genitalia versus his chest or shoulders, which one prefers having his hand on her cheek or mound versus around her waist or on her breast. Erotic[eg]: which one prefers to use her (long, long) hair to stroke him to arousal, versus one who wants her hair stroked or gripped during love-making]

You could have ended this chapter with them entering the wedding lodge, and then spent the next chapter describing the foreplay, erotic coupling, afterplay/afterglow, and emotional bonding between all three. And done it in terms that would NOT have made it cheap porn, but WOULD have been erotic.

And yes, the one-page short chapters are the way to go: short, intense doses like a weekly or daily serial [I DO miss those].

Voted '4'; you do 'five' work, but the 'sex scene' disappointed.

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by Anonymous06/02/14

skipped everything after he got permission

Just alot of unnecessary dialogue and awkward sex or what ever that was the sweetie thing is childish he's a grown man and barely known them for 2 seconds I would expect that kind of unreasonable attractions and affections from a teenager but not a grown mani whose been thrown in one confusing situation to another

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