All Comments on 'Running Away'

Good Story. Thanks for sharing! Ohio, USA

but other that than, it's decent enough a read...

Overall I enjoyed this story. That's not to say that it wasn't overly sappy. Certainly you telegraphed the incest from the beginning, but I was still intrigued to see how you would resolve that dilemma.

During the more intimate scenes you seemed to forget the purpose and structure of a paragraph. Yours were entirely too long. They were so long in fact that the scenes were robbed of their eroticism. You would have had more impact by breaking them up and not changing a word written.

I thought you missed a an opportunity to expose and explore the three more protagonists. I wanted to hear something from the ex-wife, to see something of her demeanor and attitude. Likewise, the ex-husband of Anna deserved more direct face time. As for Ezekiel, he was nothing more that a one-dimensional caricature.

I got the feeling that by the end of the sorry you rushed things. The very idea of having eight strangers at a remote cabin suddenly spring up and leap to the rescue of not one, but BOTH, of our victims, was a bit contrived.

You could have thought of many more fitting ways to resolve the problems, in fact, I would have been pleased if you resolve just Anna's problems and moved Leo's to a point where he had access to his daughter but other elements remained in tact. Everything does not need to be tied up into a nice little bow at the end. Great stories can have crappy resolutions.

As for Sarah, I wondered how Leo could watch the mother being declared unfit and yet offer her unfettered access. You are in essence saying that while Leo found Sheila's incest disgusting...she was still a good mother to Sarah. No way, no how was that a rational conclusion.

Thanks for putting the time in. Love seeing people get their due, both ways.

Was good reading til page 5 on here. All the guys that show up all have something against the bad guy. Kinda makes me think you had no other way to help so that was all you could come up with. Not a bad story overall, just seemed to have a huge glaring coincedence.

I thought that we were going to find out that Duke had been the driving force behind all the coincidental happenings. Without explaining how all these people got together it seems improbable to say the least. Also, your writing style needs some work, I kind of skimmed rather than read. I think this is because your characters are so one dimensional I could predict exactly what they were going to say and do. But you had a story here, which is more than most writers in this genera. And, I finished it so you must be doing some things right. I think you have a chance to become a good writer. And even though this might have been a bit brutal, I have to be honest here and admit you are already a better writer than I am.

What kind of moron burns down a factory to get back at the owners? They'd have it insured, or being so wealthy, its lose would not hurt them. All he did was screw over a bunch of innocent workers.

Since this was such a long story and started so naively, I skipped ahead to see how it would be concluded. So, her father knocked her up. But no one in the Keystone state had the balls to stand up to him. Yeah, right. No one, and I mean no one has that kind of power.

As an example, it is stated that 'Duke' was named for Marion Mitchell Morrison's nickname. It is also stated that lodge owner Duke is 76. Evenassuming he died yesterday, that makes his birth year 1934 (or earlier). The actor John Wayne was born in 1907 ans did not appear in any film until 1929. He got the 'Duke' nickname as a child, so maybe lodge-owner Wayne's parents knew him as a child or as a football player at USC (2 years in the mid 20's). The point is that is is a stretch to say he was named after John Wayne. I was also bothered by the convenient arrival of a hearty band of saviors who instantly adopt our hero and Anna as their favorite cause and proceed to spend lots of time and money on them. Way too convenient.

The dialogue bothered me a bit as well. All of the characters, even traditional and sheltered Anna, talk like sailor's. Anna's Mom has a gutter mouth and mind, so perhaps she came by it honestly.

I enjoyed the basic tale. There are some minor editing problems and credulity is stretched when the resolution to the problems of the hero and heroine end up in a group of do gooder fishermen. Still, I liked the story and will be reading the sequel in "Shelia's Story"

Thanks for a good read

I don't care what any of the nitpickers say about this story. It is that, a great story and people need to realize that it is fiction, so use your imagination. I did and it isn't that far from reality. Maybe it might come close to life. I like to think of it as a kind of fairytale where the good comes out and the bad guys get their just desserts. My compiments on a great read and I enjoyed it from start to finish. Thanks and keep writing.

Why not just write about alien whalers or something? Bleeeech!

good story..well written, as are most of your stories

For a great read.

Radq, keep up the good work! Big ole trout, indeed....You've surely got a lively imagination. Looking forward to more! Nuclear Response was well thought out, but some folks simply are unable to deal with the idea of collateral damage, as it were. Thanks for the fine reads.

EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!

Well written and executed, I really enjoyed your story. Thanks.

Thoroughly enjoyable story!

This story made my day. In fact, it made my week! That says it all.

One of the best on the site!

though, one big thing about a good revenge story.(even if its not called revenge) when paying back someone for wrong doing, always best to do something that will eat at them for the rest of their life. always more rewarding than beating the hell out of them once. haha

Best I have read so far. Thanks so much!

my comment says it all....as for revenge, Leo and Anna got all the revenge they will ever need....as the old saying goes, the best revenge is living well...and they are indeed living very, very well

Thank you for the effort. jim

Simply marvelous story loved it, I would have liked to have seen Anna's ex-hubby go to jail for his abuse and rape of her but I would also like to see his boss go to jail as well. A man that rapes women demonstrates that he is lower then any other animal but when a woman participates in the rape of another woman she is simply filth beyond filth to put another woman through that. (usual yadda about iPhone typing)

Your gave your characters flaws, emotions, and life experiences. While both ex's seemed over the top it did give the story the texture you were shooting for. Good Job!

I think the daughter was more of a victim in this story than you portrayed her. Otherwise a good read

Hey ...... a great story. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. I did wonder if his wife was the victim of incest when she tried to contact him as her father was extremely powerful and used to getting his own way. Please keep writing. Many thanks.

Sid

The daughter would become one once she attains adulthood just like the garandfather and the mother

Your writing is excellent, especially the way you get us involved in the feelings for the people in this story. I had tears of joy at the ending, for them and to see that there are people in the world who are good and help others and do justice. I look forward to reading more of your fine stories.

when the all line up in sync, the good guys win, TK U MLJ L NV

And why would he want to? All it does is maintain a connection with the mother, make a clean break, and get the fuck away!

Leo and Anna's romance was great. You drew things out, moved them together slowly and ideally. Totally storybook with the two of them - which made the deus ex machina of their benefactors a jolt that jarred me out of their story and made the ending less satisfying than if they'd achieved their happiness together with less improbable intervention.

I agree with a lot of the problems. Things moved too fast, everything was too pat, and a bit silly; but in this respect it was no different from most of the loving wives stories, which it resembles. However, it was interesting and decently written; good work.

A great "Feel Good" type of story.

Thx

How in the world did the tooth fairy come to visit to save Anna and Leo. 4 men with the skill and desire to knock off the devil. Far fetched to say the least.

If I had written it I would have had more revenge on Sheila and her dad. Also Anna's first husband, he got off easy just by losing his little slave wife that he was going to pimp out. He should have been mistreated badly. Very entertaining.

I couldn't give you the five star rating that I've given the other stories I've read of yours. This story is in serious need of editing, with contradictory statements and the huge paragraphs that could easily been broken down into 5-10 paragraphs.

But the main reason that I gave it a low rating is because of the forced lesbian scene. Presenting it in a format to jack-off to was in poor taste.

Overall, I liked the main characters of the story. It was a bit fanciful and a bit absurd in places but it was a good story.

Many states declare that if your name is on the birth certificate you do have legal rights - just to confuse some of you with those factoid things -

Also he never disclaimed parentage so the court would not act in any other manner - only Anna ever knew the truth - so the author states clearly.

Loving an innocent child you believe is yours (DNA aside) is why you keep her - simple - not everyone's choice but for those who do choose it - likely it is simple.

Well designed and reasonably well executed - some logistics would beg some help - Canada is not actually just another state in the USA so they were crossing national boundaries a bunch and it is unlikely they could just live up there and run a business cause they felt like it but those are details that require reality to intrude on a good story.

I was not bothered by the paragraph length nor by the purported inconsistencies - maybe i just glided over those in the reading.

The cosmic confluence that visited Duke's lodges in form of four professionals who knew (about) Henley and/or could help the two love-birds is beyond my ability to imagine.

I don't really know if Henley is a fictional name for a town, or if the author meant the unincorporated Henley, Missouri which had an estimated population of about 1,250 people in 2000. It is a place like many in the US of A - so small and insignificant, that nobody living more than a hundred miles away would even know about it. How come then that of the four people, two were familiar with Henley and one knew the private investigator friend of Leo? You'd win a dozen Powerball drawings before a meeting like that ever happened.

In the end, this is a good and well-written story. It's too bad that my disbelief can't be stretched far enough to accept its conclusion. That's why I voted 'only' four stars.

But did I read between the lines and the planeful of fellows who just fit in perfectly to rescue Anna and Leo, sound just like a certain Zane Grey and "Rogue River Feud?"

Heh, I hope so!

nothing could ever be finer for the Good Guys, TK U MLJ LV NV

...but who cares? It's satisfying to have a story where the bad guys get punished and the good guys live happily ever after.

I can see why he was angry with his ex-wife, but if he had listened to her, he might have found that Sheila was just as abused and exploited as Anna. Father-daughter incest is not always (seldom?) voluntary on the daughter's part.

All the same there was not much he could have done with her father holding all the cards.

I want a full length book of this wonderful romantic gem! If the book is as great as the story I can guarantee a best seller!

HOW COULD JUSTICE BE SO WRONG OH THATS RIGHT IT WAS BOUGHT AND PAID FOR.

HOW CAN A MAN TREAT A WOMAN THE WAY ANNA WAS TREATED HE NEEDS HIS NUTS CUT OFF THAN TIED TO A BED AND BEAT.

RON TEXAS cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

I think this may be radk's strongest story. The treatment Anna suffered may have been over the top, but there is no question that there are some bad men out there who misuse their women - and vice versa. I think all of us who have ever been in a bad relationship have had the running away fantasy.

A few misses especially at the end, but still a good story (needs some editing). The Anna plights were too long and rambling - less is sometimes better and the impact is not lost.

The court did not require Shelia to undergo mandated therapy to regain visitation to become a fit mother - miss, and Shelia becoming a recluse would be harmful to Sarah during visitation - another miss? And old Man Bloom got off too easy, he's not on the sexual predator list nor banded from seeing his two daughters, ever - big miss? What happen to the Henley Sheriff/Marshal/Judge - miss? Anna's Ex got off way too easy or did you forget how the Special Ops Team castrated him - miss? Lastly, when did Anna/Leo become Canadian citizens to own 'real' proper and I assume their new kids were born cunnucks not USA citizens - miss? (most countries will not allow aliens to own property - USA being 1/3 exceptions)

In all a good story but the ending was too rushed that leaves much out - or do you have a sequel coming?

As far as some of the perverse/stupid comments here - wow they just do not get it.

To the stupid/vindictive commenters - post their own story for critiquing - or shut up.

de JSX

A good story..... 4*.

I think Anna's plight with her husband went on a bit, and in detail too.

But alls well that ends well ...... really hate it when the small man gets stuffed.

It was good.

It was far from a bad story.

It felt like you wrote yourself in a corner and didn't know how to get out.

All of a sudden 4 supermen arrive at the same time and can take down a town empire and the magic wand is waved and all is right again.

So yeah, a bit over the top fantastical (if that is a word), but still an ok story.

One thing I do wonder that no one mentioned...

(doing my best Se7en imitation ) Whats in the box ?

That his parents hid in the basement.

I just cant be arsed to go back over the story (like I said, it was ok, but I damn sure don't want to read it again) so if it was ever told, I missed it.

Really...really...really thought this was a good one!

This is my 3rd reading of this great story and it gets even better than the time before. Wish I had the ability to put words together as radk can. What I do like to do is look for the stories written by the naysayers, could someone enlighten me as to where they are written? I believe the reasonable thing for the complainers is to shut the fuck up until such time as they present a laudable/readable story.

Remarkable coincidence that several thousand miles and time zones away, four guys show up that know and dislike Bloom and volunteer to play hero. Deus ex machina?

the only thing i'd gripe about was the 8 guys turning up with all the money and skills to put the world to rights, it spoilt the reality of the story, overly fortuitousness always spoils a storyline, much better for our hapless hero to slowly claw his own way out of his nightmare.

5* though for a good "escape to a cabin in the woods" story

Thank you for the story.

The only thing I would have like to see is an explanation from Sheila. It almost seemed like she had some remorse but I'm not sure.

Naysayers and nitpickers aside, I really enjoyed reading it. Thank you, author, for writing it, I have also enjoyed reading some of your other stories. Good health and happy reading to all.

Outstanding! *5

Don't get me wrong - I love this story, I really do... but, as pointed out by some commenters before, the Deus Ex Machina is in FULL FORCE here!

Yeah, sure - it's ultimately a fantasy, and gotta find a way for the good guys to win at the end... but the convenience of a plane full of people really able and REALLY willing to help out the main couple....

Yes, I laugh out loud at that.

But what can I say - I love this story. As silly as it was toward its resolution, I had no problem giving it a 5*. It deserves it.

THOROUGHLY ENJOYABLE IF A LITTLE UNBELIEVABLE,CANT HELP LOVING WHEN THE UNDERDOG GETS HIS/HER REVENGE, WELL WRITTEN KEEP IT UP,AN EASY 5⭐️.

This is a good story, but for the overly described sex scenes that actually detracted from the story - so much so that I skipped paragraphs to get back to the meat of the story.

Then the last page seemed to be a rush to finish - a leap in time with so many things left open - too many misses and open items not closed i.e. did the solder of fortune castrate Anna's ex-husband, we hope so, etc.

Part 2 sucks and did not bring any more closure, hence the very low rating.

I agree with KRD19254

Yes, the Deus ex machina of the men was pretty over the top.

How could Sheila share custody? There's no jail time for incest?

Maybe if Anna's mother had protected her against her first husband the way she threatened to with Leo, we wouldn't have had that part of the story!

This is my second or third reading of this wonderful story and it still among the best I've read.

I also came to realize also that the amount of gratuitous sex did nothing for the story. Your description of their evolving love relationship more than accomplished your objective.

Thanks for sharing this love story.

I would have paid to read this story. It's that good.

The only shortfall was Anna's ex getting away scott free! He should have suffered major damage, restricting him to a wheel chair! The man was inhuman! the rest of the story was great. 5*s.

Very long. Very weak.

How convenient was the make up of the fishing party.How come he didn't get Anna pregnant before the got married as he shagged the arse off her.?Why did Bloom get probation and not jail.?

Thank you great read

PGUK

Good story except Mr. Bloom being on probation. He should have and would have been in jail. Obviously other people knew who Sarah's real Father was.

Ditto on punishment for Anna's ex, he needs to feel her pain x100, Flaming hot poker too much ch to hope for as part of that? You don't hurt good women when bad ones are available.

A bit of a Deux-Ex-Machina salvation there ;-) Still, fun.

You've got some of my favorite stories.

feels like this MC was born yesterday just too dumb to believe. i cant delude myself that much. a corrupt rich person in a small town wouldnt get the FBI involved. as soon as they got there they would see the corruption and start investigating that

and then everyone at this remote out of country seems to know the company of the father-in-law lol someone from the justice system really

The premise was OK but the story itself had plot holes galore and the dual story of woe really didn't need 3 pages of expisition😂

badly done and utterly unbelievable

This story is just silly.

Ouais, bof!

Great story, I’m just a little disappointed that Leo didn’t let Sheila know that he knew The identity of Sarah’s father, he should have told Sheila about joint custody after what she did to him

Shouldn’t this be in the humor & satire section?

Nice story. I enjoyed it very much