by Cromagnonman
Your plot was intriguing from start to finish, and your build up of the romance was well done. I enjoy your writing.
There are only a limited number of plots for short stories. The details and the choice of words is what makes one better than the other. This one was well executed..
Somebody posted that this story's outcome was easily foreseen and therefore it was predictable. In a sense, that's true. I pretty much thought a twin would have been involved, and you needed that for a happy ending, but there are other ways it could have gone. A split personality was a definite possibility, although that would have shot the happy ending to hell. Drugs, a conspiracy, other possible plots could have been used. So in a sense, yeah, this was a predictable story, but not 100 percent and that's what makes it fun. Also, as somebody said, a lot of mysteries have been written with pretty much the same plot. It's HOW you do it that makes all the difference. This was well written, engaging, concise, all those good words. And it had a happy ending! Good job and good story.
was the jump to "feelings for each other" based on 1 and a half outpatient meetings. Forget the unlikelyhood,(babes are increasingly easy to find for a shrink)-without a preamble it seems like a page was missing.Good work, could have been great.
can forensics change the rest. TK U MLJ LV NV
Or a detective?
I realize that the lines blur at times, but his initial interrogation of Loretta was no psych interview.
Sorry, but the main plot is so hackneyed at this point that even soap operas are too embarrassed to use it.
Technically well written, but I just couldn't get past the "cheat" of their being a twin nobody else in the story knows about and she won't talk about. Disbelief won't suspend that far.
But it was a simply fun read thank you -
even tried and true oldies can be made to read well and be entertaining -
cm,another rollicking little quickie. An appetizer of erotica. My advice to the previous commentators"Enjoy and move on." Nuff said.
Fun and intriguing. I imagined a twin sister, although I did not think they were so similar in their passions. Anyway, Carmen was not a bad person either, she was trying to protect Loretta.
5 * for you.
I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.
Twins? I think that went out of fashion in Sherlock Holmes days. Please. What a waste of time.
The 96.3% DNA match instantly gave it away. So was she technically a patient? If so couldn't he lose his license? The author did not create an environment that caused me to root for Loretta. Since I wasn't invested in whether she was innocent. I could only give it 3 stars.