All Comments  for

Lisa Pays The Price

byWeb_Spinner©
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Comments (101)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous07/21/10

A waste of your talents

It was a well written cliche. Well written, because you are a good writer, and cliche, because that is what you intended. It was, however, a waste of your talents. That being said, I still enjoyed it.

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by sexmate07/21/10

Very formulated and cliche.

I liked the outcome. I just didn't like the way it was told.

Maybe next time.

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by ohio07/21/10

Well written, but...

....not much emotion in it, so it wasn't very powerful. I don't have a problem with a familiar plot--more so with not feeling pulled into the story very much by the feelings of the characters.

Thanks, ohio

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by zed007/21/10

Seemed Like A Happy Ending to Me!

I just wonder why you take the time to write "a pointless, inane and poorly written story of revenge" without making the effort to "flesh" it out with some depth and character. Do you think all torch the bitch stories should be "pointless, inane and poorly written stories of revenge?" What's the point of intentionally poor writing? So many writers on this site have already accomplished that with out really trying.

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by victoriangent07/21/10

You are right

The outcome of the story was fine. The way it was accomplished was unrealistic, unbelieveable and not ever apt to happen that way in real life.

This is not your style of writing and I suggest you stay away from it because you were right, it was a piece of shit.

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by Anonymous07/21/10

Good story.

A torch the bitch story to be proud of, well done.

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by Anonymous07/21/10

ZZZzzzzzzzz

Wake me up when it's ended please

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by Anonymous07/21/10

nice tale

Enjoyed your writing and found the story quite interesting. I would say the husband came out on top.

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by john194607/21/10

Nice

One of the better of that type stories. I think I like the others better, but a nice break and you certainly do it well.

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by LouisWu196807/21/10

I give it 2 out of 5.

I gave it a better score than I assume you were going for. But what the heck - complete sentences, no spelling errors, a kind of plot - I couldn't give it a 1 out of 5.

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by Harryin VA07/21/10

Unbelieveably bad boring and badly written

I have shit stains in my underwear that is more interesting

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by Anonymous07/21/10

50

50

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by nyminus07/21/10

Well I have to say your story was an accurate

description of what a MAN would do in the case of a cheating wife. I get so tired of those stories where some namby pamby, ultra( supposedly) sensitive husband deals with the same. First of all he cries like a baby while throwing up. Then he suggest..what? counseling..Counseling for a cheating wife? Bullshit..Then it lets the whore take him for a ride in the courts. Bullshit. But your story wasn't bullshit. It wasn't a vengful as WINTERFROG but close. The only thing was to give him some black eyes..Not the kind he was born with...Enjoyed the story

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by nyminus07/21/10

Oh pay no attention to Harry. He bullshit and he eat his own feces

you don't

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by chytown07/21/10

YAWNNNNNNNN ZZZZZZZZZ

Well written but boring as hell.

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by keyholder07/21/10

A waitress?

Why did his ex end up as a waitress? What happened to all her assets that were protected by the pre-nup?

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by jasonnh07/21/10

Why write in a style you don't like?

First, I think it was a happy ending. If you had written a story about a bank robbery wouldn't it be a happy ending if the robber was caught and sent to jail. Bad people caught and punished = happy ending. However, you seem disdainful of this type of story and your efforts reflect that. It comes across as dull because you had already decided to make no effort to make it better. If you can't be bothered to make a decent effort, why write? I don't think it's a problem to realize that you can't write for all audiences. For example, if you are a heterosexual I think it would be hard to write a gay story because you wouldn't truly understand what you are writing about and your heart wouldn't be in it. If you want to stretch yourself as an author you should make the best effort you can and respect the area and readers you are addressing. Otherwise leave it alone.

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by Anonymous07/21/10

Bravo

Well Done. Would love to see more stories like this with great results

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by Jorycle07/21/10

Lots of these

There are a TON of these stories on Literotica. Lacking in actual sexual content, but high in "Here's how I got back at my whore of a wife" fiber. Which hey, I love that kind of tale myself, and I think this one was a decent addition to that category.... but it's also becoming a very old, tired theme.

We need more stories like this, but with more erotica.

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by Anonymous07/21/10

Sincerely enjoyed this simple & straight tale.

A well done story and we also think the ending was "justified & happy" LOL. The author's introduction was meaningful & to the point. We hope this author explores the "torch-the-bitch" theme again. Thanks for your efforts, author.

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by gatorhermit07/21/10

OK Story (in fact Refreshing in some ways)

Some of the comments are correct that this is a simple, direct story. However to me it is infinitely better than the plethora of pathetic formulaic cuck stories being posted day after day. I liked the idea of videos mailed from the other side of the country.

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by Anonymous07/21/10

There are just too many good stories on this site...

for this to get a very high score. The basic problem, as several others have said, it's boring, nothing new, not especially creative. The characters are flat and unconvincing. The notion of the wronged-ex getting revenge is fine, but this story doesn't create the necessary suspension of disbelief needed to buy into it.

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by Pistolpackinpete07/21/10

Actually, compared to Nyminus Harry is the....

reincarnation of Bruno Bettelheim. Web Spinner I appreciate the prequel as I only have myself to blame for reading this piece of shit. But you are wrong about so called "revenge" stories. If written with effort they are the most realistic and involving tales on this sight.

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by Pistolpackinpete07/21/10

I meant."site"....

don't wanna be like the other droogs...

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by Vulcan_in_Ohio07/21/10

Not nearly so bad as your intro suggested

I kind of liked reading this. The spelling and grammar were good, and it flowed smoothly. Never mind the "nay-sayers" and no one here expects Shakespeare-quality in the writing. Perhaps it would fit better in the non-erotic category. I was just wondering if our "hero's" friend on the other side of the USA might receive a disk at some point, sort of a "thank you for your help" gift . . . Thanks for writing.

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by digdaddyrich07/22/10

A fast moving and well written story

The story read well even though there wasn't any erotic scenes.

A good hard line storyline, well edited and easy to read.

Thanks

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by TE_Ross07/22/10

Arrogant fiction

I had two questions after reading this story. Why did you write it? What do you feel about your fans who encouraged its creation?

I appreciate the warning about the absence of sex and character development. But I’ve never read an introduction where the author states that their story is ‘…a pointless, inane, and poorly written story of revenge’. The intro suggested to me that you did not want to write this, as if it was some type of forced assignment.

If your fans think enough of you to ask for a certain plotline then you have one of two choices. You can tell them politely that this is not the kind of story you care to write and decline their request, or you can write a story to satisfy them.

If you opt to write a story for them then you at least owe them your best effort. You in essence gave those fans ‘the finger’ by writing this story.

The piece was heavy on cliché’s, without any dialog (which ensured minimal character development) and yes, it was unrealistic. And yes it was inane, so you accomplished what you set out to do.

I’ve read authors whose stories seem to make them risk adverse, but never one so arrogant as to be fan adverse.

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by Anonymous07/22/10

Absolutely Great!

For the "cuck loving" readers on this site, I say this is how you handle a cheating, slut wife. Accept no lies, excuses, or apologies from a whore who intentionally dishonored her marriage and husband. She selfishly chose to throw away her "vows of fidelity" and screw over her "loving husband". The ironic part is she is the one that gets "Fucked" in the end by the one she thought she had fooled. As Web_Spinner said the BITCH got torched. Thanks for the story!!!

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by Anonymous07/25/10

Good Story

Loved it, I am so tried of the cuckold stories.

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by sexmate08/05/10

What happened?

After I read all of your stories I have to come back to this one and ask........
what happened to your writing style and your in depth emotions that you articulated and crafted in your other storirs? This one doesn't fit at all and was such a disappointment. I am glad I read your other posts. This was the first one I read and I wondered about what some of the other commenters had said about this one not being up to your srandard. So I went and found out for myself. They were right.

I look forward to more stories from you. And I have to admit I hope they are as good as your other posts, and hope this style is abandoned forever.

Your fan,

Thanks for writing!

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by Rob Conner08/06/10

Wonderful!

Great Tale! She got what was coming to her and then some! More Like This ONE!!

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by jiminab08/19/10

Harry

...you either have shit stains that "are" or you have "a" shit stain that is. Regardless. I do believe you have them or it.

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by jiminab08/19/10

Sorry

Sorry Spinner. I forgot to comment on your story. Harry just seems to do that to me. I liked your story. A bit short but good. Thank you.

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by 0649d09/09/10

emotionless

This is an emotionless story .. it's even less than vanilla. It's just "man knows wife's cheating, then he screws her over in divorce and rest of her life". I'm not saying he should be a wimp or that there's anything wrong with you writing it like this but it doesn't make as interesting a read. The lack of emotions and character interactions make it dull.

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by oldwayne10/07/10

I'll bet PAPATOAD and torchthebitch liked it.

I know I did! Thank you for keeping up the fine tradition of some of the best story tellers on this site. Definitely 5 Stars!

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by RePhil10/29/10

Nice to read stories of men with kahonas

Write us another one pls

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by Anonymous10/30/10

Loved it

More like this please. I love torch the bitch stories. Gotta balance out all the wimp cuck stories that people keep writing for some reason.

I think you should have had a confrontation with Lisa, it would gave add a more personal torch the bitch element. Perhaps she could get a nice disease or something from lover boy.

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by Anonymous11/03/10

When the wife deserves it I love a "torch the bitch" stroy. Same when then man is a cheating slime. It's always good when selfish stupid people get what's coming to them. And well Lisa deserved what she got.

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by Anonymous11/04/10

great story

there should be a section here devoted to "torch the bitch" stories :)

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by Anonymous12/17/10

good

There is the cheating and dispassionate manner in which the problem was approached. The evidendence was gotten and the confidence in her folded like a house of cards. There is a point where one stops caring, and he was pushed to that point. Nicely executed and hard lesson for her, and probably not very good for the guy.

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by Anonymous01/27/11

WOW!!!!!

A man with nads and doesn't eat creampies!!!! This improves my entire outlook on life. Teriffick story I enjoyed it very much. R.T.

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by BigJohn60102/06/11

Ataboy! Great story with a deserving payback....

Like more stories like this........

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by dad2you202/09/11

He only got $300,000

A big time law firm would have payed at least $1million to keep it quite. It would have cost them more to go to court. Other wise it was a good story.

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by TNDRIVER03/18/11

Good one

I some how doubt Lisa would really struggle that long she could be the legal rep for a porn related company doubt they'd care she was a cheating slut, or she could have found a rich pervert and fucked her way into his fortune. But I get the point of the story and storyline. But women always have options with sex if they are willing to use it.

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by oldwayne04/26/11

Damn! I read it all over again and

my opinion is unchanged. Five Stars!

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by BILLYTHEGER07/16/11

I GAVE IT FIVE STARS AT LAST A MAN WITH BALLS I CANT STAND PUSSY WIMPY CUCKOLDS.I TELL ALL MY GIRLFRIENDS ,CHEAT AND YOUVE HAD IT ONE DID I FLIPPEDE TOLD HER GET OUT AND I NEVER SAW HER AGAIN SHE TRIED THRU MY MOTHER ,TILL I TOLD MY MUM IF SHE MENTIONED HER NAME AGAIN I WOULD NEVER SPEAK TO HER

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by DWornock07/20/11

4****

The best part of the story is he didn't go off the deep end, hitting people, getting drunk for a month, and crying "Woe is me."

However, the story is not realistic. No one would be fired over sex nor would her family disown her. In fact, although people may have a little interest, they really wouldn't give a hoot about who she is fucking.

Certainly the Law firm wouldn't give him a cent; and attorneys don't sue other attorneys and, even if he did sue, the court would just dismiss the case because sex is a non-issue unless someone files for sexual harassment or there is rape involved.

The idea that sex is an issue in today's world is nonsense. Even Bill Clinton got reelected proving just how little it matters who fucks who.

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by tazz31709/08/11

DO IT FAST, HARD AND HATEFUL

thats what comes naturally. TK U MLJ LV NV

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by Anonymous09/17/11

DWmoroncuck doesn't have a clue

Only an idiot would spout that nonsense in a public forum and expose the depth of their stupidity. For chrissake, a 10 second Google search is all it would take to check and yet that moron continues to make asinine statements disputing reality. 2 stars for a passably written but emotionless cliche.

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by Anonymous10/08/11

Oh no!!! DWcuck commented again!!!

Which means dear author, that I can only grant you 1*. Even though I loved the story, and thought it was entertaining enough, the mere fact that such a faggot as DWmoron commenting below and awarding you 4****'s, has ensured the low score I've provided you with. Sorry.

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