You've got it, keep it going, great.
except this women are too fucking thin!
...did you stop?
You wrote well, so - chapter 2????????
that plot has been done a million times on this site
Mixing up characters' names is such a basic error
You're going way too fast.
Within two word pages, all the action was spent. This story is highly unrealistic. There's no way these girls can orgasm so hard and these guys cum so often.
I hope you will pay more attention to details in your next chapter.
Remember, take your time to tell your story.
Loved this story.
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