by JAMMANN
Nice start, can't wait to see what comes next. I can see already whatever it is Liz will be all in the mix.
I agree the story is off to a great start. Can't wait for second chapter
you really need an editor. subject verb agreement and commas are needed.
This story sounds promising, some errors with choice of words, such as using pact ( agreement, treaty) instead of pack (group of hounds or wolves). But sweetie keep it coming, i do love non-human stories.
I personally think way to many are thinking about spelling errors and grammar...It a good start of a story...Keep up the good work
the overall concept is great and it seem like it is going to be a good story in the making. It needs work with the writing so you should find an editor, there are plenty of great ones on this site. But so far it is a pretty good start of a story
You've made a good start. A little rough in places and the flow needs some work. You have an interesting storyline that will keep me reading. Good job.
Wonderful plot and I'm looking forward to more, but I do agree with honeybree about an editor.
Can't wait to read more from you!
I think it is a great start and a good job for a first story. I hope you'll continue it. I think you could benefit from asking for an editor. I think it would be a great help for someone to just help you round it out and make corrections so that you put the best work out you can. I think the plot is a good and it will be even better as the characters are developed and the plot twists come. Just one note that you have pact written instead of pack. One of the little errors someone could correct for you. I look forward to seeing where you take it. I would keep it under the nonhuman category instead of interracial as this genre has a good following. Good luck.
I like it
please continue the story there is really never an interracial nonhuman stories
I loved it that was great you told us just enough for us to really want to read. I hope you r coming back soon to continue this story.
There are not many of these on this website. So, when one appears...I go bonkers. So, please give us an update SOON!!!! The story's premise is really interesting...
Nyeesha
The story itself isn't bad but I have difficulty getting through it because of errors such as using the word "pact" (agreement) instead of "pack" (of wolves). It would be a good idea to get an editor since spell check only picks up spelling errors as opposed to usage errors.
You have made a good start! I agree with the comment concerning the errors. They are distacting, and you deserve the readers full attention. Reach out for some editorial help and you will be on your way! Bravo!!
I'm looking forward to the rest of your story can't wait to see how it plays out. I would also like to say people who give you a compliment with one hand and take it back with the other should be ignored. Especially ones who criticize your spelling but make spelling mistakes in their comments.
...but you need an editor when you get some time make some revisions or even rewrite the story to give it a better flow.
good luck and don't stop writing
Love your ideas and plot! You do have considerable errors in word choice, grammar, and tenses. Consider an editor. You would learn from them and your story would go from 4 stars to 5.
But as others have mentioned having an editor would really polish this story.
I think this is a fantastic start. You have started with what seems some good character w/just alittle background. And as the title suggest, things are about to get interesting. I going to chapter 2 now.
I would say there are errors but that could be remedied with an editor easily. Also a wolf pack is a PACK, a large group not a pact which is an agreement. Keep writing pls I love werewolves since Patricia Briggs showed me how cool they can be
I keep coming back because I like what you did for two chapters.
The potential is very strong for this story line. I would love to see the
story play out with his family trying to control his decisions. He is an alpha
after all.
Did I miss something…. There was no meeting?! Not a good “title” for chapter. But otherwise enjoyed the beginning.