All Comments on 'Unexpected Delivery'

given you five stars but the 'modem of composure' had me laugh so much it kept moving the cursor all over the place.

Yet another fair story killed by going into the sewer of anal sex. Then the stupid use of "arse" when the world in general uses "ass" shows a lack of knowledge and closed mind of the author.

I really just had to respond to yet another anonymous moron. 'The sewer of anal sex'! OMG. How narrow is THAT mind. Well pretty narrow because it thinks the 'whole world' uses 'ass'. WRONG. Having had quite enough moronic stuff like this myself I felt the need to defend the word. The language, old son, is ENGLISH and 'arse' is a good, old-fashioned, English word that has much more right to it's proper use than the newcomer which, after all, is a sort of mule or donkey. Oh! Similar to the commentator!

I enjoyed the story. Do keep on writing.

I chose to review your story on my thread in the AH forum. You can check out what I said here: http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=35014386&postcount=20

I think you have a lot of potential but you need to take your time and review/edit your work a little more. I like the plot in this story but feel that you could have flushed it out and embellished it a little more. I also think that you focus a lot on action and we don't get to see your characters as deeply as you might like.

Having said that I enjoyed the basic plot line and I like your protagonist in this story. I hope you continue writing and I can't wait to see what you come up with next.

Enjoy the Ride,

Cassandra Gables (AKA JeffLeigh)

The whole world does not use "ass" It's an americanism - probably originated through coyness - thinking ass was less rude than arse. Stick it up your ass and hear it bray, you donkey.

I remember being in high school and getting into a discussion with my mother. In the midst of the discussion I used the word damn. For the next week every comment, every thing she said to me was about my use of "such a vile word." The nit pickers who pick at the use of a single word rather than commenting on the content and flow of the story need to do one of two things IMHO: write their own perfect stories or get a life.

it's petty nit picking on single word use. there is a reason why a spell checker has several options, a few being UK English and US English. one uses realize the other realise, it's what you are most comfortable with. don't let such comment drag you down.

i like the story on it's own, the characters could have used a little more depth and i'm sure the "short" interaction between the three of them could have been extended a little longer(it should be easy for the guys to call in and say they're having some problems setting up the hi-fi equipment ;-) )

as for editing, i didn't stumble over that "huge" errors that would back me away from the story, (i know i desperately need/use an editor myself to prune out the last few mistakes) but if you don't have one, it never hurts getting one, trust me on that.

i could see a sequel happening to this, she knows their names and she can probably check from which store the equipment came *hint hint*

Hot juicy sex with two young studs, my every fantasy