All Comments on 'I Had a Plan'

I like it. Not exactly erotica but as divorce/revenge porn it's very workable. ^_^

Except for the "sale" of an organ, something not allowed by law anywhere, your story is quite good and strikes home for me. That organ sales are illegal does nott mean they don't occur, of course; they do.

Your story hits home because I have a daughter named Amanda who has had two kidney transplants in the past ten years, her first from a cadaver and her second from a man who was a live donor.

it was too short. it does suck for "little gordy" but then, thats what happens when you have monsters for parents. they planted kiddie porn so theyd get everything!? jesus, i hope they die a slow, painful death.

I love the story line, but it could have been a little longer. Some description of the faces of the two animals that tried to destroy him would have been good as realization dawned .

Thanks for writing.

If Rita had just gone for the divorce without trying to destroy him Mark would have been more than willing and able to donate the kidney to save Gordon; but then the church may or may not have been able to raise the funds to save Amanda.

Well written quick story.

Thanks for sharing...

Good read .

Very good story, it was very succinct. If I've to put it straight, you lost a "golden opportunity". A little more background, how they met, their marriage, why Rita wanted a divorce, his really tough days when he was labbled as a pedophile, start from the scratch, little Amanda's story etc. You should've worked on these details and take it from me, this story would've been even better.

There are not many writers from India here on this site, so keep writing, but you sure need to work on few things, especially on details. Thanks for your sharing.

Read all your stories here on Literotica and SOL. Keep up the good work.

One of the best story lines I have read on this site. Great Read. "Thank You"

The only thing that he would like to see is her head on a stick. Where's Vlad when you need him?

No buildup, nothing. Reads just like that, a paragraph in a newspaper.

Just plain dumb.

Agree with another poster - to bad the ex-wife was not dying at the same time.

Short and to the point, it's good. I have to say, all the other background info another commenter requested is not needed. That would just be fluff around the actual content. As it is now it certainly gets the message across. Good story.

A very succint and clean revenge tale, except that as always the true victim gets the same punishment as the guilty parties.

dd,

Damn good story. Very well written clear and concise!

one more thing to add, to aonymous: anonymous dolt.

thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

This was a very smart and well thought out story of just desserts. I don't think it's at all likely, and as the child truly is an innocent bystander, thankfully so. It works well as a fantasy though. Good job.

It is against the law to sell an organ. You can donate it but not sell it. Other than that it was a good story.

Like most everyone that commented, I thought this story was well written and an interesting consept. Ohh, Anonymous, It is very illegal to sell body parts...but who said that he sold it legally? There is a blackmarket for things like that. Many people will buy anything, if they need it desparately enough.

What else is there to say?

it is a very touching story but what it is doing in a erotica?

Selling organs is not legal in the United States. The premise therefore is flawed and absurd. I am sure that selling an organ happens and maybe illegally in the USA but that flaw kept your score low.

This was about 1/3 of a story. To really be of interest it needed a lot more to it. Sorry, but try again.

You only have so much to play the game of life with and when it is gone it is gone. Short , fast but a great read. Thank you. Jim sorry author I am going to hide.

Beside the convenient organ-trade treaty between US and Mexico I am sure it is illegal to sell or buy organs in civilized world. No where does anyone insinuate in this story that selling organs is legal or he did anything legal by selling his organ. The church was on the wrong side of the town... How many illegal organ dealers could he find among drug dealers and local gangs?

And by the way, murder is illegal in USA too, does that make every murder based story flawed and absurd? Could it be that I am being told that unlike Murder, that not in one nook and corner of the great land, of the gods of the earth, is a lonely desperate father who has sold his body part to feed or save his family. Or am I being told that there is not one desperate father in the whole of USA who has ever bought a liver or kidney to save his child's life! Is it the American way of life to think "Oh, I will let my son die but under no circumstance will I buy an organ. It is Illegal!!!"? And trust me, this is me trying to understand US culture better so that I can write a more realistic story.

And Scorpio44... I agree it is flawed and absurd. Almost as flawed and absurd as a realtor confiscating the keys to the marital house from one of the divorcing spouses after beating the spouse black and blue while the divorce case is sub-judice , without legal complications. Or, is it legal for real estate people to snatch keys by beating someone's eyes shut?

Respect,

dd

This was a neat flash story. While I hate to see childen die, t does make a nice twist to the story. The sale of an organ might be illegal it adds to the story. Good Job.

Mendon

A bit short, but I really liked it!

Should this story be in "Loving Wives" section?

It seems all your stories have a terminal ending.

Funny, there were priests that that were concerned with that lable to Mark. Writtrn before the church-priest scandal perhaps. He made his pont very well, and the pair lose something they value, literally.

More please

1. It is illegal to sell a kidney so that couldn't have happened since anyone will to pay under the table would have to know the kidney was a match and realistically there is no way the testing for a match could have occured.

2. Possession of kiddy porn wasn't a crime 25 years ago.

Since the story is impossible for two reasons, I had to rate it 1*.

I think it would've played better if his adopted daughter was the recipient rather than selling it. I would also liked him finding his true love. Their reactions to him only having one kidney would have been priceless too. Thank you.

its the lack for one and the circumstances in the need of one, TK U MLJ LV NV

This story had two things that are near and dear to my heart. Of course the first thing is the concept of Karma being a total bitch. Second, I just couldn't help but love the delicious irony the story set up.

Now of course the naysayers had a field day. I read a lot of comments with a mixture of amusement and frustration. Were there elements of the story that were far fetched? Yes. Hello people, it's called fiction, look it up! Now some comments were a bit more constructive, mostly dealing with the length of the story and lack of detail. This was, I felt, a valid concern. Therefore I only gave it four stars instead of five.

Nonetheless, it was a great effort from my perspective. I look forward to reading more of this author's work.

On Storiesonline.net (SOL) I read a story where the wife used the pedophylia weapon against the exhusband and the tribunal system banned him to see his own daughter. Some years later the exwife ask for the tribunal system to drop the accusation, because she wanted the exhusband to help their common daughter. What a similar interesting situation

I thought it was funny that ex was so selfish that her actions will possibly be the death of her son.

To duna what is the title of the story you are referring to. I would like to check it out.

TREMENDOUS.

Rita and Hugo had a lot of balls to assume Mark would give up a kidney to a stranger brought up by his cheating whore slut ex-wife and her jerkoff fuckhead lover because he has a biological son he never knew. Maybe if 25 years ago he knew she was preggers maybe.

Now he goes on the list and waits his turn for a kidney.

I did it and 10 years later I'm still kicking.

OH YEAH

A buggering by a meaty cock, a fat cock smoked, betrayed!

but definitely NOT sweet! Hoist by her own petard!

('petard is French for fart, but was also the nickname for a small clay-pot grenade used to knock down doors in castle walls ... named after the sound of the grenade as heard from the battle-line. Every once in a while the grenade would go off early, and the troops would see their grenadier fly up in the air, then hear the 'fart!')

Unfortunately I did not wrote the author's name in logbook. On the SOL somebody can ask others about a story title. I will ask them soon.

pay back is a bitch then you die, in this case her child will die because of her deeds

no remorse or regrets...only avarice and self serving. TK U MLJ LV NV

Excellent!

i do like this one.

O. Henry would be proud. Could his wife really be that selfish and evil when she divorced him? Could any wife cheat on her husband and then take everything from him in a divorce if he were completely blameless in their marriage? Would any wife with such a mean streak be likely to stay married to her lover for twenty-five years? Why not write a story about Rita's motivations when she was married to Mark and how she changed once she married Hugo and gave birth to Gordon?!

Hey Tazz317, why are you such a %$#@& ?

It was a good story with an excellent ending.

But poor Gordon he is truly an innocent here - I hope he gets the transplant - there are a lot out there - never enough but a lot.

As for the 2 assholes - don't you just love the balls some people have - they come in a demand he do and offer nothing for it after completely destroying him for no reason other than their own selfishness - now they think in noble terms - sheeit

Not legal anywhere in the world - except Iran.

knock knock...who's there...not you son in two weeks bitch....haha

a man in 30's get's a call his daughter needs bone marrow...he has no daughter..high school love moves at 16 but was pregnant..never told man..now wants his help..says go fuck your self....you decided to never tell me so not mine bye...he is married two kids....mom to mom talk she agrees to get kids tested behind husbands back....husband finds out and is a lab tech my friend....no match for girl but the son 12 is...funny thing is the girl is no where near a match....hmmmm says tech..wife is nervous...DNA says tech....gets test without wife....not his little girl...gets DNA from poker buddie(1 of him 5 of us)..match....Divorce....1 daughter his but couldn't give a shit about(she knew who he was but choose not to contact man.pro militant feminist)

a son who is his that wants to save his sister (doesn't understand new sister hates men, and big sis doesn't want to know the man's family), a small girl not his that he has no right's to under the divorce whom hi loves dearly....a wife who we all used all our connections to destroy and our poker friend who we just pretty much drove to suicide....ahh life it is interesting.

They completely destroy him and then have the gall to ask him to save their son? I liked the story and his reason for not being able to donate the kidney. But I note that they never asked to see his scar. I wonder if he lied? (That would have been an nice twist). And I wonder if he could sue them for fraud regarding never informing him about being the sperm donor? I do think his revenge played out well. They will suffer for the rest of their lives after Gordy dies. Good job.

Had his wife not cuckolded and then ruined him, he never would have found himself destitute and forced to sell one of his kidneys. The mother killed her own son, 25 years before he was even born.

Yes, it is short, but it's a flash story, so lots of the background won't be there. As for the selling of the kidney, we know it happens even illegally, so I don't mark the story down for it.

All in all, a very good flash story.

There is a truth to this theme. I have seen many evil doers seem to get away with their misdeeds. Unfortunately, in many of these cases, it is not them but their children that wind up paying the price for their parents sins, wrongs, and crimes. Take a close look at the next unscrupulous businessman you meet and his family. How often their children are a mess. Why was Gordon in a car accident? Reckless driving? Drugs? Booze? Maybe, maybe not but it would fit the picture.

They deserved that. What they put the innocent betrayed husband through, they deserved worse. And they'll get it. Fucking cheaters.

First place they shoudn't have gone talk to him...They did, and now they still will loose their son and the guilty will always be with them...

Kids matter. Too bad too many parents realize this far too late.

Good read. 😎

But not much for what they, she especially , did to him. I don't know how she could look him in his face. What a horrible woman.

Readers can blast me if they so choose, but after what she has done, if I were the ex-husband, I would feel far less obligation to give up a kidney to a child I had been denied access to for a quarter century than a stranger's child. A great story with a great ending.

A very good BTB and fucking her ass hole husband.

Her giving her son one of her kidneys

Small nitpick, usually parents are not the best donor for their children. They usually only have around 50% histological compatibility (in reality it varies). Sibling are usually much better donors since they can have full compatibility.

Heven if he hadn't sold his kidney there was a good chance he was not a match.

and they asked for it. TK U MLJ LV NV

to this story, like DWornock. Lots of items get sold in the USA everyday which are not legal! That doesn't stop the sale. Idiots!

Not either of my two brothers or I, myself, were compatible. We sat and watched him slowly deteriorate and die months later. Being a family member does not always, or even often mean that your kidney would be compatible for a transplant. And with women having babies by different men, that further decreases the chances of a viable donor.

Short and Sweet. *****

where does the author come up with these great stories

i love his stories

I would like to have your talent, and offbeat imagination. You are amazing with all these different stories.

This may be the best LW flash of all time. Wow!

Poetic justice, if tragic

The innocent son had to die. SAD SAD SAD. If it had been my story i would have had the son need the kidney as a child and the biological father would only donate if the cheating wife gave the boy to his bio dad who lovingly raised him while she had to watch from afar with no contact with him, ever. Ex suffers, while innocent son lives a good life. Just me.

If the mother and asshole would have treated him decent and just got the divorce, chances are he would never have had to sell his kidney. Thus he would have had one to donate now. It makes my soul feel good. Yes the son has to die, but it's not his fault, ultimately it was theirs, i you feel a need to lay blame.

What son? Total stranger never been told of him etc

He the writer said it all

5-stars

Seems like poetic Justice to me.

Sorry for the kid, but would like to see the reaction of Hugo and Rita. What a despicable pair they were.

But given what his ex-wife and lover did to him, I wouldn't give up a kidney for anything. Now they will know the pain he felt. Good story. But not to my liking. Just too harsh.

Watching son die only beginning

Took everything from him and child pornography!?

Nothing to extreme for them

A savage burn, but unknowingly done at the time

Then the selfish narcissist bitch said “so you have a kidney to give. We’ll take it!”

Short and to the point. Too bad about the son. It wasn't his fault. However, the story was unique here. Good job.

If she hadnt burnt him in the divorce, the kidney would still be in him to donate.

First and foremost you will not die from malfunctioning kidneys. You will be put on dialysis and on the wait list for a kidney match. Okay story beyond that.

Reading again. Another great story that makes you wish you could see Rita's face.

Brilliant

Ouch. Sad for Gordon, but the cheating couple will have to live with the consequences of their greed forever. They had some balls rolling up with an attitude after how they burned him.

I shouldn't laugh because it's awful but that's funny

Plot twist, after the funeral he admits he never sold a kidnry

Don't you wish you knew what a monster you were marrying before you went through with it? Holy smoke how can someone like her look at herself in the mirror??

Again, Karma at its best!

Absolute classic story.

You are one very good writer.

This was tragic but funny also.

It is a shame you're not writing anymore.

Right after she said "I will give you anything if you help my baby" I would have said "Slit your throat, from aorta to aorta"...

Yep, not only is it against the law to donate your only remaining kidney, it’s also against the law to sell either of your kidneys. In this country anyway. Still a good story though. As someone else said: Karma.

Again Fantastic one...

But toooooo much short

...what you sow.

The evil that men (and women) do, lives with them

For a woman who planted kiddie porn to gain the advantage in a divorce, this is no big deal. She'll arrange for an accident that leaves him brain dead but miraculously leaves his kidney in good condition.

Sorry, didn't like this one.

It isn't Karma because it is the Son who ultimately pays the lethal price.