All Comments  for

The Train to Barcelona

bycavu182©
All
Comments (2)
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by normal jean09/08/10

as far as rhyming goes

I truly enjoyed this story poem. IT isn't ungodly long, nor is is childish in its rhymes. I did however find something you might want to tweak, in the line that begins with "A women..." perhaps that should be woman. I enjoyed your work today and in the past. Keep writing! ( and publish that unpublished poem! ) ;)

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous09/14/10

Very nice

Subdued sentimentality: that's good. Forced rhymes: not quite so. Don't let them push you around!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!  or
Back to The Train to Barcelona  or
More submissions by cavu182.

Add a
Comment

Post a public comment on this submission (click here to send private anonymous feedback to the author instead).

Post comment as (click to select):

You may also listen to a recording of the characters.

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel