by catman71
if you do not like, its free site so write something of your own. then complain. if not brave enough to try, more the pity to you
Good story line. Don't be discouraged by the rabid nit-picking critics. Their over the top and unnecessarily hostile comments and their concentration on a relatively minor fault indicate that they are not worth listening to.
Yes, there were some grammatical and spelling errors. If you don't have an editor, then it might be worthwhile getting one. It looks like you may have relied on a spell-checker. As you can see, it won't necessarily recognise that a correctly spelled word is not the correct word.
You have left a couple of 'hooks' that could be used to continue the story line. I, for one, would be interested to see it developed further.
Signed, "Surreptitious"
Ignoring the grammatical errors, you have the basis of a good story here.
Find a sympathetic editor to appease the pedants and you should be OK
You do learn! I see you cleaned this mess up some. But it's still littered with errors a 6th grader would spot; and it still is so stunted and filled with incoherent sentence structure it remains difficult to read. So you passed 4th and 5th grade! Congrats!
Since you deleted 5 posts slamming this piece of trash for being so badly written, I assume this post will disappear soon as well. But that's okay, because I know you have seen it.
....everyone else's, " Shouldn't have posted. A Writer with ambition (and guts)- will apologize and get better.
i passed with flying colors. 21 years ago. the first chapter is only supposed to set up the rest, so it is choppy i know, and i have caught the fact that i tend to write in the manner which i speak, short, clipped and to the point, and to my annoying critic, like i said , if you do not like, do not read, and if you are better, post your own, oh THATS RIGHT, supposedely you are published author, of what i cannot fathom, perhaps picture books i wonder
don't let the negative feedback prevent you from adding to this one. i'm one to know that grammar mistakes are soo easily made, i'm not even english and it certainly isn't my native language. we all write in our own style, either the reader likes it or not BUT not liking the style is NOT a reason to start slandering a story about "little things" like grammar.
i've read pieces by some so called "published authors and even they still slip in some errors. we're frigging human, not bots!
i for one would very much like to read more about this, it is a very good set up for a nice and intriguing story. i've read the other story as well (didn't post publically there but privately) and i liked the turns and twists. comparing the writing as a whole this is already better, which means to me you grew as a writer.
what many also have to keep in mind is that MOST that submit here on lit are "hobby" writers, we write because we like to write. there are many ways to criticize a story, but just dragging it down for grammar errors and certain style it's written in... i dare you to write this same story better then? (there are a lot of stories out there that are much much worse)
so again catman, don't let it discourage you (and thanks for your continuous support on mine ;-) )
which should be nobodys but the wind. TK U MLJ LV NV