All Comments on 'Unexpected Turn of Events'

i have enjoyed reading your first forray into reading it is quite good and very intereseting. i'd definately like to read more.

Very good start for your first one !! I enjoyed it very much and look forward to more from you. Perhaps a little longer to have more to enjoy. Great job !!

This was a good first time story i really the slow build up give us something to look forward to. thank you for sharing.

this was a pretty good chapter.....so good job, at your first story.

Make it longer though....at leaste over a page =) And maybe 2 if you really like me...

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Oh, you really are a "Bad Girl"...more please and don't keep us waiting; your adoring audience has a very short tension span.

Great start! A little choppy, and could benefit from some tight editing, but you have what it takes! Bravo!

your off to a very good start it seems! but I will say this: I know the first chapter can be this short and sweet, but please dont do like a couple other authors have done and give this short/sweet feeling to the rest of the chapters... its gotten many an author removed from my list (and others im sure if reading their comments after mine where anything to go on)... otherwise GO GO GO MORE MORE MORE!!! ~~~ Anon1856

Like the others have said its a good start if short.

Looking forward to the next installment :)

Let me just start by saying "thank you" for having the guts to share this with us. If you had not, we would have missed out on something really great, i think. You are certainly off to a better start than most other first-timers, as far as editing goes. the story was both cleanly written and easily followed;)

Can't wait for their first meeting. Going to chapter 2 right now !!!!

Great start! You have my curiosity piqued. I look forward to your developing the characters and the plot. I like the background you gave on Cullen...how he grew up as it gave a good insight into the type of person he is...doesn't it just make you wanna be the woman to show him some love :) You didn't give too much about her personality or who she is but I am sure you will...keep writing! Maybe try to make the chapters a bit longer, as when the story gets going it is so frustrating to only get a short page or so.

This chapter was very well written. You have got my interest up. I can't tell that this is your first story.

I think that your story has great potential, considering what I have been reading so far. Unfortunately it kind of reminds me of a bad fan-fic with all the different POV's no continuous flow and overall amateurish vocabulary/writing style. I am not exactly sure how to explain it, but writing like this without a proper editor, gives the story (which has a good plot thus far) a certain cheapness to it which may distract readers, such as myself, from truly enjoying it. This is your first story, and I congratulate you. This critique is not to discourage you in anyway but a little bit more finesse in your writing should be very much considered. Other than that I am looking forward to reading the rest, hopefully it will change in future chapters.

From an expectant reader :)

Mysterious and tense. Loved it!

Can't wait to read the rest of what you have written so far.

everything you said was exactly what I was thinking. When you said: "Unfortunately it kind of reminds me of a bad fan-fic with all the different POV's no continuous flow and overall amateurish vocabulary/writing style." bells went off in my head, I couldn't have explained it better myself. Sometimes writers just don't understand that fan fiction writing and book (novels or whatever) writing are on two totally different levels.

This fiction does have great potential like Anonymous said, but I hope the author took (takes) his/her advice for future reference because they were spot on IMHO. -Mel

Having read many stories, I find this one different and quite nice. Having both points of view make the story interesting. Looking forward to reading more.

Jeezus it's not even the best part yet & I love the build up!!! *scream* this is great!!!

The above pun is intended, and also a double entendre. I am waiting for some of my regular authors to post and looking for some new were. It sounds as if I have found a hard Were. So far, it is looking good.

One of the other authors on this site recommended your story... I find the two Jews very different but interesting.... Good job thus far... See you at the end!

When people write stories in first person, jumping between two POV characters PLUS the the time constantly changes from present tense to past tense and back.

This might be a potentially interesting story, but GET YOURSELF AN EDITOR AND FIX THIS MESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First person and present tense is in almost all cases crap, it takes a very skilled author to pull that off. First person plus jumping from one POV character to another is also in almost all cases crap.

There is a reason that you find hardly any literature written that way.

Just transfer the story to third person and past tense, and it's so much less tedious to read!

Dear, southernmisfit if you are to stupid to follow a story you should not take it out upon the author. It is not their fault you are so obtusly incompetant.

Southernmistfit, just be quiet. If you don't like the story, go away. Some people like the way this story is written, others don't. Just because you don't, doesn't mean you should freak out. And the author doesn't need an editor- he/she has really good grammer and punctuations. So....yeah. Go away.

I am warning everyone that this story was not completed; so, continue to read if this doesn't matter to you!

I second the previous anon, it hasn't been added to since March 2012, it's not finished.