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Lament of the Black Bird

byEnithermon©
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by Anonymous

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by UnderYourSpell10/08/10

I like

this one, it has a lot of description to keep the reader involved and not many forced rhymes although I did stumble on the word 'Illumination' in the third stanza. Thanks for the read and I look forward to seeing more.

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by jthserra10/08/10

Nicely done

well controlled meter, comfortable rhyme, nice work

jth.

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by SweetOblivion10/09/10

This is quite good.

A good pace, but watch your meter. You slip out of pentameter to 11 syllables occasionally - 4th line of verse one and 2nd line of verse three.

The two 'news' in the first line are a bit weak.

The poem also assumes an understanding of welsh(?) mythology that many of your readers won't have.

Good attempt at a lament though. M

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by Anonymous03/02/13

Great poem! I am a fan of your work, hope to see more "hunting the hunters" soon! Keep up the excellent work!

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