All Comments on 'Anita's 1st Day'

by plusseven

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  • 11 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
I don't know ...

Your story just seems to jump into it ... there's no build-up to the plot and no explaining anything. You've been around this site for awhile ... use somebody to bounce your work off for suggestions. It's not a bad story, it just doesn't develope.

ScrewaduScrewaduover 13 years ago

I liked it a lot. There has been a proliferation here of people who write ten page stories and don't get to the goods until page nine - and then you get a TO BE CONTINUED that never gets followed up on. Sometimes you want to get right into it. Keep this series going.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Needs back story and build up

You have potential... this is a hot idea. But, it needs some background and build up.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Great start

Please continue this story and make it a series. It's hot.

SkyfalconSkyfalconover 9 years ago
how long

when will the next chapter be on here

26thNC26thNCover 3 years ago

Innocent Mexican wife’s don’t go whole whore that quickly.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
Part 2 or one similar

Make a part 2 or one similar , older white gig maybe 60s with young latina

secretsalsecretsalalmost 3 years ago

I get that it's a vignette, but without any comparison to her behaviour prior to this seduction, it comes off pretty shallow. Sure, it's a challenge to describe a convincing seduction that happens in no time at all, but that's what separates the good writers from the rest.

AnonymousAnonymous11 months ago

40DD and 105 lbs? Have you ever seen a woman?

AnonymousAnonymous10 months ago

Yes, but how did he turn Anita into a slut? That is the story.

AnonymousAnonymous8 months ago

SO much that didn't happen in this story, & should have been left-out & saved for a prequel!!!

Anonymous
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