by littlenikki
I did enjoy reading your male perspective so well done and hope to see more of your writings soon *smiles* bennyland@yahoo.com
good premise. i had to stop about a third of the way through. i was spending too much time re-reading your sentences, trying to make sense of them. they invented the comma for a reason. learn to use them.
I like "to the point" stories and this is one of them. A lot of action with good descriptions. You used what you knew and incorporated that into the story. Good Job