All Comments on 'Bad Decision Maureen'

Reasonably good story. Grammar and spelling weak. "Thrust" instead of "trust." "Yesthruday," not sure if you meant "yesterday or Thursday." Still, keep writing; just lay your stories aside for a few days, reread and catch "hiccups."

She did handle it badly.Things happen. Maybe he will get over it. I think she needs a sound spanking. Good story.

He claims that she destroyed his trust, when I doubt he ever trusted her in the first place. Sure, she handled it badly, but I agree with her idea of not causing a fight that could only lead to more trouble.

Jesus Christ, what did he expect her to do when her brother's guest/business partner acted like a pig? Create a huge, embarrassing scene? Given Ron's history as a fighter, that would've really gone over well. He could've attended their wedding in his jail stripes.

Simply put, while she could've handled it better, Ron acted like a 2-year old and like Maureen was one of his possessions. If he hadn't run off all hot headed on the woman he supposedly loved, he would've seen her and her sister tear into him. What's more, he could easily call the others and verify that this was what, in fact, happened. Instead, he pouts.

She's better off without him. What's he going to do to take her back? Piss on her like a dog to mark his territory?

And that, in my opinion, is the problem with the story. If Maureen was going to make a "bad decision," make it a REALLY bad decision and have Ron act like a man rather than a little boy. Could she have handled it better? Sure. Did she handle it horribly, though? No. Ron did.

The title should've been "Ron's Immature Antics."

Thanks for the comments everyone

This being a short story, I made the mistake of not sending it to my Editor, before submitting.

A mistake I will not make again

Fran26

Yes, she handled it badly, but geeze, he is acting really dumb. You might want to take a second look at the storyline.....get mad sure, she was wrong, but to cancel a marriage...the love must have been pretty shallow on both of their parts.

Well written.

Folks, to chose to get married is to make an emotional agreement. Thus you usually agree to be faithful to each other and approach the outside world with a united front.

The two in this story apparetnly never came to that agreement.

Moreover, if a woman had pressed againt his organ, I wonder about her ability to avoid making a scene.

Thus better that they not be engaged until they could make such an agreement.

To state it obviously for the legally minded, "For evil to prevail it is only necessary for good people to do nothing"

...even bi-polar agoraphobics have less trust issues than this character. So I guess you mean't the bad decision was his?

Maureen's position is that of a feminist, capable of standing on her own, and looking to prove herself in front of other women. If it was an all-male crowd, Ron would have been given more opportunity, history of a fighter or not.

As this was in-front of her sister-in-law, and other "peers" - she wasn't going to be made into some 21st Century version of June Cleaver, or Harriet Nelson. No mere chattel property for her would-be husband.

As to the two dick-wavers, Ron needs to get his head out of his ass.

He sounds like a man with short-dick syndrome: "My woman will run off with any man who has a bigger package."

No, she'll leave you for a lesbian, who may also have short-dick syndrome, but won't get into a testosterone contest at a party.

Plan A:

"You go talk to him, I'll freshen our drinks and be back."

Maureen may say "NO - I SAID GO!" - but he should stick with plan A.

Henry?

Henry does this as a means of being "more man" than anyone else.

Brother-in-law Mark's wife is also a target, as-is any other "taken" woman. Car, condo, vacation house, cocaine, platinum card, whatever it takes to turn her head - bang her - ruin her relationship, and make for your next target. Henry is a woman-user, woman-hater, and has no real male friends. He comes from the win-at-all-costs school. He believes the bumper sticker: "He who dies with the most toys - wins".

No, "He" is still dead. Death wins.

This was one run-on sentence after another, poorly constructed, and generally just a mess.

Add to that poor (or incorrect) word choices, not the duke of an idea how to punctuate, and the result is an F+.

Get an editor, for crying out loud.

Ron was upset cause Maureen wouldn't let Ron protect HIS OWN honor. Hypothetical for Rehquest and all the other whinney pseudointellectual, metrosexuals who thought Ron was such a neanderthal cave man, just as a hypothetical, how's about we all have a patio party with our families all together and I walk up to YOUR MOM AND START RUNNING MY HANDS ALL OVER HER BOOBS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. Basically same concept, only now its up close and personal, TO YOU. Let's see how long you guys keep thinking deep thoughts, waiting for your mom to handle it so's not to cause a scene, and act oh sooo civilized??? YOU JUST GONNA STAND THERE AND LET SOME GUY COP FEELS OFF YOUR MOM, RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU? I didn't think so. Reminds me of the part of the Bonfire of the Vanities (in the novel) where all the phoney rich snobs let the guy die of a heart attack in the swankey restaurant and just lay there, cause it would have caused oh so, too much of a scene to help him, they might breach some snob etiquette and appear gauche in front of their associates, and it would have interfered with their snobby agendas to act(pardon the expression) like a human for awhile. Oh no RON, how could you have a MAN's response to some crude act; oh how tactless. Better to let your woman whore herself out letting herself get groped for laughs so as not to disturb her brother's business deals. Oh, could one of you metrosexual wiennies pass the grey poupon?

But as others have said Maureen did make a mistake by asking Ron to leave the area. Also Ron made a mistake by actually leaving. Why didn't he go looking for her when he had calmed down?

As someone once said, "What we got here, is a failure to communicate."

This couple have got serious problems to overcome. If Ron actually wants to overcome them. Does he truly love Maureen? That is debatable at the moment.

Just as an aside. If I was at a party like this one and if a strange man started touching my wifes breasts and I saw this happening and my wife politely asked the man to stop. And if he didn't stop and if my wife then didn't slap him around the face(Which my wife would!) I would certainly make my point clear to this man and I wouldn't care what sort of scene I made or who I upset. And if a few broken teeth were to end up on the floor then that would be the price HE paid.

Anyway Fran please continue with your stories they are certainly different and most of them are good reads. Thanks for your efforts.

Regards

AW

maybe there is more to it. I'm no little boy anymore but I have to say I would have gone too. too many times I got shit like that from women in various situations and of course I behaved and every time I got fooled by them in a later incident when they missbehaved. Not always in a drastic way like in this story but still. So I'm also back to the rule once is enough. If somebody does not know how to behave I can live very good without him or her, if friends or colleagues it doesn't matter. she showed no respect to her fiancee so how much would she show after a couple years of marriage? even less! It's almost like the law these years, they protect the agressors and not the victim. She protected a foul behaviour of an asshole and put her guy down when he reacted the way every sane good friend would react, male or female.

brother of girlfriend or not, ron should've kick brother partner ass.girlfriend so busy protecting brother friends,lost husband good enough for dumbass.

This sounded more like Jr. High School than adults. Matter of fact, so did the grammar. The jerk committed a crime (sexual battery, unlawful sexual contact or other names in various states). Others noticed it. Although fighting is rarely an acceptable response, an immediate, loud verbal response would have been expected.

Ron's response was no better. Why did he assume she meant for him to leave the party? If he was so concerned, why didn't he ask about her? Really, it sounded so sophomoric as to be ludicrous.

Our esteemed Chief Justice hit it on the nail. She is better without him. Crying every day, sending emails and notes, really, get a life outside of Jr. High.

I strongly recommend that you find an editor.

Thanks,

Ttom

tell me English is not even your third language

Get an editor

I understood his feeling of being placed in a position where he looked like a wimp, inadequate or worse. I understood her desire to handle the situation so he would know she could handle herself nd also not upset her brothers party.

That said, when he didn't wait and watch, then ask for her views and then have a talk about how he knew she was capable but in this world his protection of her was paramount in his mind and how he handled things would predict how much of a man he was perceived to be by their friends and family.

Awkward, but at least he should have listened, the two of them decide on any further altercations and she realizes how important their interaction with friends and family was.

Now - 3 Months and he still isn't talking? I understood his initial reaction but this guy is a pseudo macho man and she doesn't need his insecurity. She learned something about relationships and now she can offer that to a real, non-insecure, man who loves her for herself.

Point, his original thoughts were valid, his running away like a hurt little boy - an indication of his insecurity and - obviously not the man she thought he was...Move On!!!

Oh, nice read...write more & Thanks!

He needs to move on , A man and a woman have an absolute right to protect their territory in the manor they see fit . She needed to step back and let him handle it from the beginning . Manipulation from an early start only gets worse . People need to let their mates deal with things man to man or woman to woman if they wish to , if your mate wants to punch the guy , then thats the way it is . At least from that point on , your circle of friends will clearly see the boundary they have to respect . Your loyal 100% to your mate or you are not . She chose deception , he needs to move on .

When Maureen said — "Ron I am a big girl I can handle that...It reminded me of a dear (and stupid) friend of mine.

"If you can't act in a civilised manner in my brother's house leave." — Maureen should've said this to Henry, she said that to the wrong person. And where was her brother (Marc)? Maureen should've informed Marc about his friend/business partner's "indecent" behavior. I'm sure he wouldn't have liked his "friend" being "uncivilised" with his sis.

Henry got away without a scratch, I mean he just apologized and promised to stay away from Maureen with some firing from her sis-in-law — but Maureen lost everything (Her lover/fiancé, marriage...) — but, yeah, maybe there's still hope.

I appreciate your efforts, but this story is not quite "there".

~Kelly~

she's better off, far better off, without whiny paranoid insecure ron.

Ended differently than I anticipated and that's OK. I believe that she's better off without him. Whatever he was calling what they had, it wasn't love as I understand it. One misunderstanding and he's out the door? Their marriage wouldn't have lasted a month. She needs to meet a man.

Maybe you could write a chapter two where she does meet a man.

Making snap permanent decisions in combat is important. In romance not so much.

BTW a REAL MAN doesn't give a shit about what others think. His self esteem is only based on his self respect. A REAL MAN will do the right thing even if it makes him look bad to the whole world.

If his IMAGE was more important to him than his WOMAN she is better off without him.

To the lady in question: find some one who loves you not someone who is in love with his mirror.

is a loser. Anyone so insecure that he will believe something he made up in haste without listenng to her explanation will be TROUBLE later. She's better off without him.

Rich

There are many ways this could have been handled, she chose one of the worst. There are nerds and men with low testosterone on this site. People are different, I understand that. A normal man would have a least told Henry how he felt, and let the chips fall where they may. She chose the way of least resistance.

Ron is just an asshole and a control freak. If this were a real life situation, she would be better off with him long gone.

Anyway, I liked the flow of the story, it had a good pace and i felt I was in the story as it was told.

I would love to read more about these two people, at least enough so we can see Maureen tell Ron she is tired of this control crap and then kick his ass out.

i agree that she should have left with her boyfriend and not gone back to the party and straight back to Henry to tell him off,(if she didnt want ron to say anything then she shouldnt have either), if you're a couple and going to be married, you have to show solidarity even if you dont necessarily agree with them at the time...on the other hand he should trust her(which doesnt seem likely if he runs at the first sign of trouble b/t them)and he should talk with her like a mature adult instead of calling the wedding off and saying he cant trust her...someone who does that is not really ready for marriage and will always look for a way to exit stage left

I have written a sequel with a surprise ending I think. As soon as it is corrected by someone whose English is better than mine, I will submit

Fran26

Bad decision Maureen! Good decision Ron!

Fran, I hope the next chapter would not bring a reconciliation.

Thanks anyway.

One of the great sentences in all literature...and one that is so true and perspicacious..."You have killed my thrust in you and I could not live with a woman I cannot thrust.". Such brilliant insight! Thank you Fran.

Ron has a pretty thin skin. If a thing like that causes him so much distress than a marriage with him won't last long. The brother's friend was a pig but she was handling it. The start of the problem was Ron trying to get involved. He should have watched for her safety from a bit away and learned a bit more about her and then he should have congratulated her. After all she will have to handle some office wolves when he is not there. But thanks for the story.

Ron was her man and when she did not allow him the rights of a man to protect his woman, she in essence, emasculated him. That might not hae been much of a problem except that she humiliated him publicly.

As a man, I can say that I would have been pissed. But then again I would have ignored her and talked to the bastard myself.

In not wanted to create a scene, she created one anyway and made her fiancee the goat.

I don't know that I would have canceled the wedding, but we would have had to do some serious talking and set some guidlines for the future.

Good one. I tend to feel for women in this story.

She deserves to lose him and they both should move on with life. Maybe the bitch will get a clue on how "not" to destroy the trust between engaged couples. But wait, there is a chapter 2 - perhaps we will be enlightened as to how this all becomes the male characters fault [again].

thrust? trust?

Sorry to do this, but I had to give your story only one star. While your plot was intriguing and could have been a great read, your abysmal grammar, atrocious spelling and deplorable punctuation just shot the entire thing down in flames for me.

As others have pointed out, "Thrust" is a physical act of pushing forward forcefully. TRUST is the emotional or mental act of believing in someone or something. That is just one of the many errors that really killed your tale.

So please, if you're going to be submitting more work here, make use of the editors which are offered - they really are good, and can not only help in finding and fixing those pesky problems which plague your story, but can also help in tightening up plot lines and making sure that any contradictions (usually due to rewrites and re-thinking plot lines) are caught before publication.

Keep submitting, and give some serious thought to an editor!

Seems to me that neither of them are mature enough to have a drivers licence let alone a marriage licence. If you want to create conflict between a couple please raise the level to at least junior high school!

It's all her fault.

Just get an editor.

Good job!

They're both stupid. Jumping to conclusions. It's good they didn't stay together

but she treated Ron as if he was in fact a teenaged boy...and Ron acted the part well. Wasn't this just like a teenage romance? I did not like either character much.

OldMarineVet

When there's a foundation of trust, understanding & respect, this is not a deal breaker. That base of communication was't there, so the engagement went by the wayside. All parties sounded like decent people with some maturity issues. Better that the two found out they were mismatched at that point , then after kids.

I enjoyed the story from a morbid point of view. Its refreshing the narrator apportions herself a share of the blame. Maybe not as much as some old-school commentators would ration out. I find this an entertaining and provocative read regardless !

With either a good proof reading or some decent editing.

She was stupid for handling the situation badly and he was wrong for being too sensitive. Two wrongs don't make a right. Now what?

Chapter 2.

She killed his 'thrust' in her? Seriously?

Ron behaves like a skydiver who doesn't bother to check to see if his parachute is inside the bag on his back before he exits the plane! Act first, then think later has always been a good way to live one's life. Not!

Story still gets 5*, since, she's reasonable.

A man with a set of balls to dump his fiancee for screwing up an already bad situation.

Crash and burn.

Trust...is not thrust....geez get an editor or learn to spell or reread what you have written...any of the above would work!! As far as the story goes ...not any thinking going on by either side! And it takes 3 hours to help prepare the food for a BBQ...what the hell were they feeding...an army?

I mean, to be fair, my preference would be to live with a woman I could thrust, so I guess I see his point...

And scumbag Henry . Who goes to a party which is full of single women . Harasses an Engaged woman. And breaks up the engagement to satisfy his ego . Doesn't get his good looking face rearranged . I don't think so .

L

Not life partner material. He dodged a bullet. Or a cannonball. She would have been, 'one problem after another', kind of woman. Instead of building a life together peacefully, any guy she married would end up stressed out putting out fires everyday because she was too flighty.

What gets me is the fact that her brother would known that his friend was a player. The brother should have been keeping an eye on his friend. Her brother should take half of the blame for breaking up his sister’s engagement. Maureen should have slapped the guy for grabbing her breast. I guess she liked it so she didn’t slap him! He could have gone to jail for sexual assault because a number of guests saw it. Her fiancé is lucky to find out what a slut Maureen really was before he married her!

When a man tries to stand up for the woman he loves, and her first instinct is to oppose him, use his love for her to bully and push him around and then throw him out for the horrible crime of wanting to confront the man who sexually assaulted her, he should thank GOD he dodged a bullet. Had this not happened, he could have ended up married to this ball-busting bitch. If she wants to be married to a pussy-whipped little wimp, she should just be honest and seek out that kind of man .. they're out there!

Should have let Ron kick Henry's ass.

Naw if really didn't like the guy, she would have left the first time he touched her face, but she didn't she stayed and let him keep flirting.