Wow that was the best opening i have read in a while. Hopefully this isn't the last chapter.
by
Anonymous11/03/10
cut it short
the begining was long and boring by the time you got to the good part we were almost asleep from the boring start and the teasing was a little over the top teasing is never good think before writing
This is only the start I hope. You seem to have started with a great opening, now you just need to finish this story no matter how many chapters it takes. Please continue.
This is an excellent story. Easily one of the better new submissions in this category in the last couple months. I thought the story had the perfect amount of build up (and if anything, you could have expanded it a couple hundred words to flesh out the relationship more). The exciting stuff at the end was hot, relatively believable, and clearly written. Count me as someone excited to see where you would take these characters from here, both experimenting more and dealing with the repercussions of their actions.
A really good story from the start. It flowed and really got me into it. I have to admit that the few remarks his sister made after they began their exploration was really a turn-on. It sounded quite natural. I hope that you would continue the story in the same fashion as the first. I can't wait to read it.
i read a lot of stories and this one is my favorite
i like your style, the story is very believable and i don't feel stupid picturing it in my head, like with most stories
i usually don't like sequels, i prefer the "first time", but i so want to see how this goes on
English
Great Story
One of the best preview I have read...... there will be a sequel, right?
Wow that was the best opening i have read in a while. Hopefully this isn't the last chapter.
cut it short
the begining was long and boring by the time you got to the good part we were almost asleep from the boring start and the teasing was a little over the top teasing is never good think before writing
Very good writing. Please continue with this awesome story.
Great Start
This is only the start I hope. You seem to have started with a great opening, now you just need to finish this story no matter how many chapters it takes. Please continue.
Don't listen to anonymous, expand on it!
This is an excellent story. Easily one of the better new submissions in this category in the last couple months. I thought the story had the perfect amount of build up (and if anything, you could have expanded it a couple hundred words to flesh out the relationship more). The exciting stuff at the end was hot, relatively believable, and clearly written. Count me as someone excited to see where you would take these characters from here, both experimenting more and dealing with the repercussions of their actions.
Hot Story
Great beginning. I loved it. Now you need to continue. Easily better than a five.
very good start
hope there is more to follow. and don't you just love that the one person to make a poor comment is afraid to use their name.
A really good story from the start. It flowed and really got me into it. I have to admit that the few remarks his sister made after they began their exploration was really a turn-on. It sounded quite natural. I hope that you would continue the story in the same fashion as the first. I can't wait to read it.
A hot little interlude, and...
good while it lasted.
i read a lot of stories and this one is my favorite
i like your style, the story is very believable and i don't feel stupid picturing it in my head, like with most stories
i usually don't like sequels, i prefer the "first time", but i so want to see how this goes on
Great first chapter
Love between the two of them is really erotic, and I hope that they realize that they need each other.
Thanks for the good chapter.
That was great. Wonder how many brothers and sisters do that
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