All Comments on 'The Champion's Companion Ch. 01'

A long and unintersting list of facts. Well, the ideas are good, but the performance is poor because you are telling instead of showing.

Dont tell me your invented world was so and so, take me there, make me involved.

Thing LOTR the huge statues of the ancient kings on the river. If instead Tolkien would have just said - there were powerful king in the west once. How dull would have that been. Instead he SHOWED us.

Dont bore me with a tedious description of characters. I don't care and I'll forget that in the next paragraph because I dont give a damn. Instead SHOW me how they behave in different circumstances.

Hope that helped.

Only a description.

If this is a re do of the last one, I think the last one was much better.