All Comments on 'Why Men Cheat'

by SteelAndSilk

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  • 23 Comments
stargazer_bardstargazer_bardalmost 13 years ago
Say On, Brother!

This rings true in so many ways.

iakatziakatzalmost 13 years ago
So true...

and send it to every married woman on the planet!!

MsKateMsKatealmost 13 years ago
From the womans point of view

First of all I agree men cheat because their needs are not being met. Women dont need sex as much as men, its a fact. We can get addicted to it if done right but thats usually by one of the rare men that can satisfy a womens need for emotional support. Men need sex, women need to feel before they can have sex. Lack of communication is what is more likely to kill any sexual feelings a woman has for a man. We need to be relaxed, made a fuss of, turned on so to speak. For men its a case of looking and they get aroused, women need to feel. Take your case of the office woman, she feels a greater respect for the man in the office, looks up to him, shows him she cares about his situation, why is this, its because the man tells her how he feels. If you want to stay faithful, open up more and your wife or lover will give you more of what you need.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
I approve of this message!

Well spoken, and well written. I have explained the "men need sex as women need emotional closeness" to a couple of women, and they are almost always shocked at the comparison!

Vulcan_in_OhioVulcan_in_Ohioalmost 13 years ago
This was pretty accurate . . .

And I echo another's comment: Telling my wife that sex is as important to me as emotional closeness is to her is like talking to a brick wall. Women usually don't understand. It's like a non-smoker trying to comprehend why a smoker craves a cigarette. There are exceptions -- some women go through phases where they are super horny. Maybe when they want a baby. Maybe relates to their cycles. Maybe as menopause approaches. They usually say something like, "I don't know why. I'm just so-o-o-o horny. I want to do it again, and again, and again!" Most men, unless there is something wrong with them, feel that way all the time. And women still don't know why.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
Surprised

I'm surprised that there aren't a whole bunch of women "flaming" this. Which wouldn't make it any less true, unfortunately.....

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
Damn right

This is very well written. Straight to the point. The number of times that I 'communicate' my 'feelings' aka horniness and get nothing beggars belief. finally after nearly 10 Years of marriage my wife recognises I'm horny most of the time... Numerous forums and women comment on making her feel special and wanted in order for her to put out... Hmm my wife accepts me doing stuff, flowers, looking after the kids even after working 60 hours a week, absorbing her pmt, my shoulder wet from her tears... My reward is about 6 blow jobs a year. What did I want for my birthday she asked... Apparantly I never say... Hmm other than the hundreds of comments n hints etc about having a sex life...It's like talking to a brick wall. So this article is spot on.ive gone nearly 10 years ... Now I'm up for some extra for a sexy slut. I need to read up on how best to try to get away with it.. Coz the other sucky thing is if your wife doesn't fuck you... The courts certainly do.

FirebrainFirebrainalmost 13 years ago
This is not specific to men

If anything, I know many women who will say they're far more interested in sex than their men are. They aren't hulking fuglies of women, either. I think this "men need sex more than women" stuff is outdated; we're not so shy anymore. I think it's pretty even, and it stands to reason that if a partner feels unloved in any capacity, they will be tempted to stray.

Scotsman69Scotsman69almost 13 years ago
Misogynistic crap.

Blame the woman. Not the man's fault. Come on, get a life...

RHinSCRHinSCalmost 13 years ago
Not specific to men

Thats true. Having said that, some of the married men I know would agree with what is said here. They are rebuffed more than not. Even when they try to be romantic. Men who no longer care have probably lost the desire or have been slighted or shot down so much that they no longer care what the wife thinks. I know a few like that. Firebrain, it is not outdated if it is still talked about. You have to know the mans point of view before you can believe your friends. There may be a bigger problem. The fact that women aren't so shy anymore will probably further the wedge between the sexes down the road. Things are changing and not for the betterment of the institution of marriage or relationships. A normal man with working tackle wants to do it every day. Having to beg for sex would certainly alter a mans feelings and attitude. Many would resent it which further erodes the relationship. Good rant.

FirebrainFirebrainalmost 13 years ago
Outdated

I think the notion that men are the dissatisfied ones where sex is concerned is outdated. That does not mean there are no dissatisfied men -- it just means it's as much of a problem for women these days. We're told as teenage girls that men are more interested in sex than women, and all it amounts to is a) disappointment and resentment from the women who are actually more enthusiastic and b) jadedness on behalf of the women who aren't so bothered about sex, because they always knew men were "just like that."

RHinSCRHinSCalmost 13 years ago
Firebrain

We are from different places and cultures. I will leave it there. Men are often kidded that the great sex will evaporate after they say I do. I wonder how many have discovered that it rings true. Once the fish is on the hook there is no more reason for the bait.

SteelAndSilkSteelAndSilkalmost 13 years agoAuthor
Expected comment, but disappointing

Scotsman69, as I do not hate women nor was this article geared toward inciting hatred of women, I hardly think I could be classified as "misogynistic." My point (as I will reiterate from my article itself) is not to give men an excuse to cheat, nor (and I must address the anonymous commenter under the "damn right" heading here) to justify cheating. The point is simply to give women an understanding of the mentality behind what goes on before an affair, so hopefully she can do her part to stave it off. This is not a "men are horny and need sex, if your wife doesn't give it up, find someone else" article, but I made that clear already. As many commenters have made apparent, many women are simply unaware of the legit comparison of needs in this case. Perhaps you might read something before calling it crap next time. As for Firebrain, I congratulate you on being one of the growing number of women who are unashamed of and embrace their sexuality. Hopefully the many, many women who are still not will follow suit soon.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Have you ever thought ....

...that the resason the wife is uninterested is that you're shit in bed? No woman is going to turn down multi orgasmic minding sex. They'll be gagging for it. I suggest you look at yourself and what you're doing to blow her mind...

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
Thank you for the revelation

"men need you physically as you need them emotionally"

I think at some level I already knew this but thank you for putting it so succinctly.

I'm lucky to want to my partner physically fairly equally (at least at this relatively early stage :) but I will always remember this whenever I'm tempted not to take the time or the energy to get turned on for him. Thanks!

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
that is a two way street.

women also need to be sexually satisfied and that starts anywhere but the bedroom. Small touches, loving glances, flirty pats... all these actions build the desire and the bedroom is the final play ground. Don't think because your woman doesn't melt when you poke her from behind in bed that she doesn't want you. She wants you to be more romantic and if not exactly romantic then at least not acting as if any hole in the dark will work.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago
It's not always due to lack of sex at home...

Emotional needs also need to be met. He needs to feel cared for, concerned about, and most of all...appreciated.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
i call bullshit on some of this

If the person truly cares about their significant other then they will let them know how they feel. It is a copout saying that they aren't getting what they need at home. It is pure weakness and selfishness that leads to cheating. Then lying about it or trying to cover things up makes things worse. You want to have sex. You need to have sex. Then tell your partner. Not go outside the relationship because you may end up losing a really good thing because you couldn't say no.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Umm...

The whole "women need emotional support, men need sexual satisfaction" thing is complete BS. Some people are like that, but not all. Get your facts straight and stop stereotyping the sexes.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Too true

I see a lot of 'should' in the comments. To me that tells me you have never experienced this or have ever had to deal with it. Try talking 'sense' into a woman that has made up her mind on how much sex you 'should' be entitled to is talking to a brick wall... with a Kevlar cover!

Little hints and touches designate you a horny old man, enjoying the Fredrick's commercial after she grins at the Chippendale commercial gets you called a pervert, and god forbid you notice a young lady with her bikini untied on the beach, even though you have an old Polaroid from ten years ago of her doing the same but propped up on her elbows to show her tits and nipples...

Oh and all the while, if and when she does actually decide to treat you to a little sex and you don't jump like a teenager then you need to see the doctor to see what's wrong with you.

Nuf said, I'll get off my soapbox...

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Even men need emotional support.

What about the man that is getting all the sex he wants, but still cheated? A person cheats for one reason, they create a pity party for themselves, they are feeling guilty for a failing relationship that they don't know how to fix. Instead of dealing with the emotions from the failing relationship, they look for a quick fix, a way to bolster themselves back up, because they are not strong enough to do it for themselves. This is coming from someone who has lived this experience before and is in the third year of reconciliation in a 21 year marriage. The lack of sex excuse is a sham, a cover, a symptom of a much larger problem.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
nope and nope...

Women need sex just as much as men do, you realize that right?

I'm a female and have left men for not giving enough in bed, (granted, my ex Fiancé randomly stopped giving me sex for 8 months)

It's needed just as much as emotional compatibility.

I'd never be able to date a man who didn't give me sex.

Yet,I never cheated. So saying this is why men cheat is a cop out, the weak and cowardly cheat.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
i cheated

i cheated with both male and females..i did get caught i just needed sex simple as that..

Anonymous
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