All Comments on 'Peace for Erin'

by OneSilky

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  • 15 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Bon apetit

That is sum dam good writin'! Makes me hungry! "with a flurry of final flailing he blew gobs of opalescent chowder into my ass." There has to be some sort of award for a sentence like that, somewhere.

MetamorphoseMetamorphoseover 13 years ago
Excellent

5/5 Good writing. The best I've encountered here so far.

Excellent performance in first-person pov, which in itself is hardly simple.

Great pace, great showing - took me into the ER for a few minutes.

Nice dialog, good characters, nice conflict, hot action.

Only point I have to say that too much an effort was put in creative names for hot objects and activities. Too much sometimes equal less.

Sometimes a cock is just a cock and a Jism is just a jism -

pussy, introitus, cunt, vulva - You know, it's ok to say pussy twice.

ILienBagbyILienBagbyover 13 years ago
Isn't it a wonder

that someone who writes so well, so amusingly, so enticingly, also writes so beautifully, also writes realistically and manages to make it HOT! OneSilky is one in a million.

AmitdankevinAmitdankevinover 13 years ago

A great story. I loved the feel of speed in this. Keep it up.

FifthHorsemanFifthHorsemanover 13 years ago

Love the wordplay! Enjoyed your tip of the hat to The Raven as well.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
FifthHorseman said it all

Great word play and the interuptus (sp) was terrific.

brainfadebrainfadeover 13 years ago
Thanks - Good fun

Yes lovely. Can I just say that I agree that there was perhaps just a few too many dictionary words. Perhaps as the mood got raunchier the verbiage would get cruder.

Ta

littleblackdress50littleblackdress50over 13 years ago
great story

Good luck in the contest.

WyldnightWyldnightover 13 years ago
Nice job

It was a nice story and quite beautiful at times. But there were a bit too many $50 words (or however that saying goes). I like using a thesaurus when I write, so don't get me wrong. But, perhaps, you could use words that the majority of your readers will understand. While I'd like to think I have a rather large vocabulary, I have to admit that I didn't understand some of the words you used. Still, it was a nice story. I wouldn't mind reading more from you in the future.

estragonestragonover 13 years ago
Great Fun But Overwritten

Give poor ol' Roget a break, he's plumb tuckered out. And it's Brut, as in champagne, if you mean aftershave; brute is what Erin wanted in bed. But a cute story. Erin's my kind of woman.

OneSilkyOneSilkyover 13 years agoAuthor
Beauty

An occasional reader has given ratiocination over my forlorn logorrhea. My obloquy for rubicund idioglossia is conspicuously quotidian, but nonetheless overwhelming….. a truely apopemptoclinic situation.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Great!

i liked everything about it except for gelatinous porridge and opalescent chowder, though i did appreciate your descriptiveness. It was very well written and i really felt them when they had to get up and help people. thanks for the story :)

lovebobbylovebobbyover 10 years ago
another great read

Keep it up silky you have a awesome imagination

roncarlin2002roncarlin2002about 10 years ago

loved the way you described their intensity, coupled with the frequent interruptions to increase the ardor of their encounter. Great story Silky!

SampkyangSampkyangabout 8 years ago
Very hot fun

I was a nurse for 19 years and had those same fantasies, but never got lucky with a Silky lover...

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Roll Tide!! I love to hear from fans, or even non-fans, if they read my stuff. I send pictures....