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All Comments on 'Her First Time'

by kasey_connor

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  • 2 Comments
curioussandy88curioussandy88over 13 years ago
OKAY

The story's a good one... basically a quickie.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Too many 'too' and not enough 'to'

Nice story but 'too' should only be used for 'as well' or 'excessive' - eg. too many.

'To' is more common and I don't think you used it once here. 'Collapsed too the floor', 'took me too an orgasm' etc., is not correct.

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