All Comments  for

Retaliation

byDG Hear©
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Comments (67)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous11/27/10

Well Done!

I always go through the new stories and when I see your name, it's an automatic read.

This story, like all your others, is very good!

The very Best to You.... Thanks for sharing your creativity.

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by xtremedd11/27/10

Anonymous, You are absolutely right!

DG,

I saw your named contribution and held my vote....... till I read the story.

A 6. Thanks for sharing on Lit.


X

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by Anonymous11/27/10

Ummm...

I thought The Wanderer's quote was "Life goes on"?

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by zed011/27/10

Excellent Story

I'm always excited when I see your name on a posting, and as usual, you didn't disappoint. It must be nice to be able to write such warm heartfelt stories, that please on so many levels. Thank You!

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by Anonymous11/27/10

"... a loaf of bread, a [glass] of wine and thou beside me ... ."

Sorry, DG, but you have earned a 'whap' in the wilderness instead of a song for the following passage from your story: "She called me and asked me to meet her at a restaurant. When I got there she was already there having a glass of wine and waiting for me. She smiled when she saw me." Your character, Mary, is obviously mature enough to know that one never consumes alcohol during at least the first trimester. Bad move, very bad move! Sorry I have to leave this comment as anon, but I'm having difficulty with my password. ---Vanesca

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by DG Hear11/27/10

DG Hear: I stand corrected.

You are right, I stand corrected. 'Life goes on' is his favorite ending, he's an author friend of mind and I'm sure he won't worry about the mistake. Thank you all for taking the time to read my story, much appreciated.
DG

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by bruce2211/27/10

Delightful Tale

Interesting, normal people some with bigger defects than the others. All finding a way to enjoy life.

Thanks!

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by EspressoBolus11/27/10

Nice little tale

Interesting story, though really too brief. Also, you gave us one line which I found strange; "Sasha had her baby and of course it was bi-racial but a very beautiful baby." Huh?
I was also bothered by Mary drinking, although total abstinence is not necessary of course. I was disappointed that no mention was made of breast feeding, one of the most beautiful parts of motherhood.

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by Anonymous11/27/10

I don't get it!?!?!

This author writes a tale about a classic doormat. Can't find himself a woman his own age, so sets himself up while in his early 20's with a woman double his age. Is this the best he can do?!?

And everyone is gushing about his brilliant writing and stunning storytelling abilities? Am I missing something? This was about as generic and emotionless as a story can be, and people are practically falling at their knees for this guy? I mean the story, although I don't particularly think was brilliant, was reasonably written, and at least nothing in it was offensive (except for all the over-politically correct descriptions). Why is everyone so wrapped to read this guy????

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by Anonymous11/27/10

Nice story but...

The following line made no sense.

"I'll make it real easy for you Mary. There are only two reasons I won't marry you. First, if you've been lying to me and the baby isn't mine."

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by BillPorter11/27/10

The name of the story

The name of the story is Retaliation, yet when Mary asked him, if that is why he went after her,he said
"NO IT WAS NOT".Is that the way a marriage should start,with a lie.

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by The Navigator11/27/10

Nice

But I think you made too much of the bi-racial aspects. It really had nothing to do with the story's theme and served as a distraction.

If the two had been black and white and love prevailed over the objections of parents, friends and community, that could have been woven into the thread of the story. In this case, it was like mentioning he wore size 15 shoes, then mentioning it several more times. Irrelevant.

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by RePhil11/27/10

Nice read thanks

Another one Please

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by MissouriUSA11/27/10

Good Story! Nice Ending!

Good Story! Nice Ending! Thanks for sharing it.

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by Anonymous11/27/10

Good story but

The line that read, "I am of mixed race due to my ancestors" got me laughing so hard I spilled my coffee.

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by sailordblj196611/27/10

Nice Story

DGH another wonderful story. Keep up the great work.

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by Anonymous11/27/10

retaliation

let's see she paid her employees nothing lived in a big house while i would imagine whoever work for her were living on the streets, she got knocked up by her hired help, her husband is living with his and her son ex wife and their only grandchild. In real life what would be thought of her and her family,i wonder, but i really know not much.

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by Harryin VA11/27/10

quite good....

a warm loving tale about people...mostly lonely and hurt... trying to make it through their lives as best they can. Not sure I see the "Retaliation" per se... buta good tale.

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by Anonymous11/27/10

Could not

Hated your bragging ass main character after the first couple of paragraphs. Could not read this shit. You used to be a good writer, must have bumped your head really hard.

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by Mongo83711/27/10

Glad to see

your back writing !!!!!!!! I hope you have several others on the drawing board as well . I like your stories but didnt find a whole lot to like about most of the characters in this one as most were sleezy in their own way . Good read anyway , 3 stars . I just skimmed but will read closer later .

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by Anonymous11/27/10

Disappointing

I couldn't make it through the first page, nevermind the whole story. I hate bragging.

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by Anonymous11/27/10

rushed

rushed, stupid, annoying, depth-less, in short a bad story with awful characters who all deserve each other.
P.S;the main leads suckkkkkkkkkkkkkk

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by Average_Writer11/27/10

Okay story.

I enjoyed reading the story. It had a feel good factor to it. Anyway glad to see you back writing.

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by Anonymous11/27/10

Overall good but..

When Sasha went to Tom is was thinking " the aristocrats "

Tom and Sasha hooking up just wasn't needed for the story. Though I still think there is more need for closure revenge on Billy boy. He got off too easy as did sasha.

It would have been a tighter story if Tom didn't get any of the business and Sam got it all. That would have been a great payback on sasha and bill.

Perhaps you could have wrote something about mary naming Sam as a full partner in the business.

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by monsterer2311/27/10

creative crisis???

he was one of my favorite Literotica writers,til latest stories.... whats going on??? author with such big potential and great amount of excellent stories start posting cheap interracial crap... ugly and unrealistic...such a disappointment...

p.s. and its not loving wives category for sure

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by jasonnh11/27/10

Nice job

I guess this is a case of "living well is the best retaliation". I'm sure Bill sees it as revenge but Sam is just living life to his own satisfaction, working hard, and taking advantage of the opportunities that come his way. There were several points in the story that I felt the writing was done to make a point and fit awkwardly into the story. Most of your writing seems to flow organically and these points stick out because they didn't. But that's a quibble to an overall very good story.

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by Anonymous11/27/10

Stopped reading at this line... "Bill told me that you and he often swapped. He said you would probably be having sex with Judy. I didn't know till after it was over that he had lied to me."

If you're too lazy to put an effort into your stories, I'm certainly not going to waste my time on them. Please, do something else with your time.

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by Salamis11/27/10

An enjoyable read

Good to see you using characters of more varied backgrounds and writing stories with a little more complexity.
I’m not surprised by the comments about the interracial nature of the characters. For all the intellectual freedom that a forum like Literotica offers, the stories here rarely take chances. Sexual behavior may be discussed but race is rarely.

Thanks for taking some of those chances with this very enjoyable story.

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by Anonymous11/27/10

sorry to say it

as good as the story was, don't try to be "fancy". just because others.......you don't have to prove that.....because these are not your stories. thanks for antoher good story.

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by Anonymous11/27/10

never

thought i'd see a great one succumb to the obama mama and kim kardashian rage. yes, it's inevitable, the minority hard working, educated white(college and on the job) taxpayers are destined to foot the bill for the kids of the b.d. blacks and good looking blondies.

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by Anonymous11/27/10

Comments seems strange to those of us outside the US...

when they criticise the story for having a selfcentric character. Many of us 'aliens' see the dominant Republican view as a me-me-me philosophy that bears scant regard for the betterment of society in general. I will never understand why Americans crave 'smaller government' but expect it to have the power to solve all their problems in times of trouble.

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by Chiefton11/28/10

Wonderful Story

People in love creating life and making others feel good, I wonder why there was so many negative feedbacks.

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by likegoodwine11/28/10

Very nice story

Can't believe people are writing something negative. I loved it!

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by deadsoon11/28/10

Good story

Young and old, black and white, have and have nots, lazy and driven... An enjoyable ying and yang story. Thanks for writing.

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by Anonymous11/28/10

This is the best story I've ever read from you DG.

This is the best story I've read from DG. I expect that there will be some complaint about the story, but it read good to me.

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by oldwayne11/28/10

Life goes on, and damned if I don't agree with Harry for once.

DG, Dave and Jack are best of the best and I don't find it surprising that they are friends. This is one of the best stories that I have read on this site in a long time.

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by rphinney11/28/10

I didn't get the point...

I think the story failed to get any point across. You lost me at the earliest paragraphs. You were describing the relationship between Sam and Bill, and lost me completely.

You said Bill was Sam's best friend, and then went on to explain in great detail exactly why they should have been anything but friends. Rivals, enemies, antagonists certainly, but friends?

They didn't act friendly, they had no shared interests, no common background, they never behaved in any type of friendly manner, and in truth they didn't even view each other in any affectionate manner. Just how were they friends?

Once this contradiction occurs, the remainder of the story makes no sense whatsoever. It all just seems contrived, as if the author can say they were friends just to establish some form of tension when bad things occur between them, when in fact nothing nice has ever occurred between them.

I am almost inclined to believe someone has hacked DG Hear's account to post this story, because it seems so much less thought-out and developed than earlier stories, but then, maybe the well of imagination has just gone shallow...

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by digdaddyrich11/28/10

Nice Story

He set out for revenge, but found love instead.

Well written and a very smooth reading story.

Thanks for the good read.

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by Anonymous11/28/10

nice one

Well done

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by H.H.Morant11/28/10

Too predictable

No tension. The characters are stock The sex not particularly hot

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by Deckview11/28/10

Nicely written, good story, but not your best

Too predictable and not much real tension to work through...

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by Anonymous11/28/10

An excellent story.

One of the best I've read for some times. Keep up the good work. Cheers Roger.

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by mcwiii11/29/10

Magic

The master at work, Thanks DG.

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by bartolo12/23/10

Heart warming story

This is one of the best short stories I've read. It's in the tradition of DG Hear. But some aspects of your writing style have changed since your most prolific years, a few years past.

Glad you are back with your original, strong, to-the point stories. Please keep writing.

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by chytown12/30/10

I had to give.

You five stars I enjoyed this story. "Thank You" for a great read!!!!!!!!!

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by Ducky712/31/10

Liked it, good story

If this were real life I doubt this would have really happened, someone would have been dead before it go to the happy ending. Good story anyway.

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by BigK1002/06/11

As they say...

"The best revenge is a life well lived." Samuel stepped up to the plate and smashed out a home run without stooping to Bill & Sasha's level. A well-crafted tale as well. Easily, a 5 Star effort!

P.S. If Bill had named Luke, you could have cheesed off a bunch of Stars Wars fans with Samuel's line, "Luke, I am your step-father." ;-) (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

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by DWornock07/02/11

Very good story.

Not much revenge but I see no purpose in revenge anyway, especially against an exgirlfriend and the guy that fucked her. In that case revenge is stupid.

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by RonRWood07/23/11

Good

I agree with DWornack comments on this one.

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by saratu09/07/11

Excellent!

I also agree with Wornock on this story, a fine story.

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