All Comments on 'Retaliation'

I always go through the new stories and when I see your name, it's an automatic read.

This story, like all your others, is very good!

The very Best to You.... Thanks for sharing your creativity.

DG,

I saw your named contribution and held my vote....... till I read the story.

A 6. Thanks for sharing on Lit.

X

I thought The Wanderer's quote was "Life goes on"?

I'm always excited when I see your name on a posting, and as usual, you didn't disappoint. It must be nice to be able to write such warm heartfelt stories, that please on so many levels. Thank You!

Sorry, DG, but you have earned a 'whap' in the wilderness instead of a song for the following passage from your story: "She called me and asked me to meet her at a restaurant. When I got there she was already there having a glass of wine and waiting for me. She smiled when she saw me." Your character, Mary, is obviously mature enough to know that one never consumes alcohol during at least the first trimester. Bad move, very bad move! Sorry I have to leave this comment as anon, but I'm having difficulty with my password. ---Vanesca

You are right, I stand corrected. 'Life goes on' is his favorite ending, he's an author friend of mind and I'm sure he won't worry about the mistake. Thank you all for taking the time to read my story, much appreciated.

DG

Interesting, normal people some with bigger defects than the others. All finding a way to enjoy life.

Thanks!

Interesting story, though really too brief. Also, you gave us one line which I found strange; "Sasha had her baby and of course it was bi-racial but a very beautiful baby." Huh?

I was also bothered by Mary drinking, although total abstinence is not necessary of course. I was disappointed that no mention was made of breast feeding, one of the most beautiful parts of motherhood.

This author writes a tale about a classic doormat. Can't find himself a woman his own age, so sets himself up while in his early 20's with a woman double his age. Is this the best he can do?!?

And everyone is gushing about his brilliant writing and stunning storytelling abilities? Am I missing something? This was about as generic and emotionless as a story can be, and people are practically falling at their knees for this guy? I mean the story, although I don't particularly think was brilliant, was reasonably written, and at least nothing in it was offensive (except for all the over-politically correct descriptions). Why is everyone so wrapped to read this guy????

The following line made no sense.

"I'll make it real easy for you Mary. There are only two reasons I won't marry you. First, if you've been lying to me and the baby isn't mine."

The name of the story is Retaliation, yet when Mary asked him, if that is why he went after her,he said

"NO IT WAS NOT".Is that the way a marriage should start,with a lie.

But I think you made too much of the bi-racial aspects. It really had nothing to do with the story's theme and served as a distraction.

If the two had been black and white and love prevailed over the objections of parents, friends and community, that could have been woven into the thread of the story. In this case, it was like mentioning he wore size 15 shoes, then mentioning it several more times. Irrelevant.

Another one Please

Good Story! Nice Ending! Thanks for sharing it.

The line that read, "I am of mixed race due to my ancestors" got me laughing so hard I spilled my coffee.

DGH another wonderful story. Keep up the great work.

let's see she paid her employees nothing lived in a big house while i would imagine whoever work for her were living on the streets, she got knocked up by her hired help, her husband is living with his and her son ex wife and their only grandchild. In real life what would be thought of her and her family,i wonder, but i really know not much.

a warm loving tale about people...mostly lonely and hurt... trying to make it through their lives as best they can. Not sure I see the "Retaliation" per se... buta good tale.

Hated your bragging ass main character after the first couple of paragraphs. Could not read this shit. You used to be a good writer, must have bumped your head really hard.

your back writing !!!!!!!! I hope you have several others on the drawing board as well . I like your stories but didnt find a whole lot to like about most of the characters in this one as most were sleezy in their own way . Good read anyway , 3 stars . I just skimmed but will read closer later .

I couldn't make it through the first page, nevermind the whole story. I hate bragging.

rushed, stupid, annoying, depth-less, in short a bad story with awful characters who all deserve each other.

P.S;the main leads suckkkkkkkkkkkkkk

I enjoyed reading the story. It had a feel good factor to it. Anyway glad to see you back writing.

When Sasha went to Tom is was thinking " the aristocrats "

Tom and Sasha hooking up just wasn't needed for the story. Though I still think there is more need for closure revenge on Billy boy. He got off too easy as did sasha.

It would have been a tighter story if Tom didn't get any of the business and Sam got it all. That would have been a great payback on sasha and bill.

Perhaps you could have wrote something about mary naming Sam as a full partner in the business.

he was one of my favorite Literotica writers,til latest stories.... whats going on??? author with such big potential and great amount of excellent stories start posting cheap interracial crap... ugly and unrealistic...such a disappointment...

p.s. and its not loving wives category for sure

I guess this is a case of "living well is the best retaliation". I'm sure Bill sees it as revenge but Sam is just living life to his own satisfaction, working hard, and taking advantage of the opportunities that come his way. There were several points in the story that I felt the writing was done to make a point and fit awkwardly into the story. Most of your writing seems to flow organically and these points stick out because they didn't. But that's a quibble to an overall very good story.

Stopped reading at this line... "Bill told me that you and he often swapped. He said you would probably be having sex with Judy. I didn't know till after it was over that he had lied to me."

If you're too lazy to put an effort into your stories, I'm certainly not going to waste my time on them. Please, do something else with your time.

Good to see you using characters of more varied backgrounds and writing stories with a little more complexity.

I’m not surprised by the comments about the interracial nature of the characters. For all the intellectual freedom that a forum like Literotica offers, the stories here rarely take chances. Sexual behavior may be discussed but race is rarely.

Thanks for taking some of those chances with this very enjoyable story.

as good as the story was, don't try to be "fancy". just because others.......you don't have to prove that.....because these are not your stories. thanks for antoher good story.

thought i'd see a great one succumb to the obama mama and kim kardashian rage. yes, it's inevitable, the minority hard working, educated white(college and on the job) taxpayers are destined to foot the bill for the kids of the b.d. blacks and good looking blondies.

when they criticise the story for having a selfcentric character. Many of us 'aliens' see the dominant Republican view as a me-me-me philosophy that bears scant regard for the betterment of society in general. I will never understand why Americans crave 'smaller government' but expect it to have the power to solve all their problems in times of trouble.

People in love creating life and making others feel good, I wonder why there was so many negative feedbacks.

Can't believe people are writing something negative. I loved it!

Young and old, black and white, have and have nots, lazy and driven... An enjoyable ying and yang story. Thanks for writing.

This is the best story I've read from DG. I expect that there will be some complaint about the story, but it read good to me.

DG, Dave and Jack are best of the best and I don't find it surprising that they are friends. This is one of the best stories that I have read on this site in a long time.

I think the story failed to get any point across. You lost me at the earliest paragraphs. You were describing the relationship between Sam and Bill, and lost me completely.

You said Bill was Sam's best friend, and then went on to explain in great detail exactly why they should have been anything but friends. Rivals, enemies, antagonists certainly, but friends?

They didn't act friendly, they had no shared interests, no common background, they never behaved in any type of friendly manner, and in truth they didn't even view each other in any affectionate manner. Just how were they friends?

Once this contradiction occurs, the remainder of the story makes no sense whatsoever. It all just seems contrived, as if the author can say they were friends just to establish some form of tension when bad things occur between them, when in fact nothing nice has ever occurred between them.

I am almost inclined to believe someone has hacked DG Hear's account to post this story, because it seems so much less thought-out and developed than earlier stories, but then, maybe the well of imagination has just gone shallow...

He set out for revenge, but found love instead.

Well written and a very smooth reading story.

Thanks for the good read.

Well done

No tension. The characters are stock The sex not particularly hot

Too predictable and not much real tension to work through...

One of the best I've read for some times. Keep up the good work. Cheers Roger.

The master at work, Thanks DG.

This is one of the best short stories I've read. It's in the tradition of DG Hear. But some aspects of your writing style have changed since your most prolific years, a few years past.

Glad you are back with your original, strong, to-the point stories. Please keep writing.

You five stars I enjoyed this story. "Thank You" for a great read!!!!!!!!!

If this were real life I doubt this would have really happened, someone would have been dead before it go to the happy ending. Good story anyway.

"The best revenge is a life well lived." Samuel stepped up to the plate and smashed out a home run without stooping to Bill & Sasha's level. A well-crafted tale as well. Easily, a 5 Star effort!

P.S. If Bill had named Luke, you could have cheesed off a bunch of Stars Wars fans with Samuel's line, "Luke, I am your step-father." ;-) (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

Not much revenge but I see no purpose in revenge anyway, especially against an exgirlfriend and the guy that fucked her. In that case revenge is stupid.

I agree with DWornack comments on this one.

I also agree with Wornock on this story, a fine story.

for some reason hates police, gay people and anyone over the age of 18: wouldn't agree with turd on anything

she stuck a phone up her ass to make a booty call

There was no retaliation here.

It should have been titled 'Capitulation'.

Well written and it really made since.

the main character is a saint and rest are human. Pleeeasee!

there are other jobs out there, especially for someone who supposedly was at the top of his class.

Thank you for writing this.

Fantastic writing, you can make your stories real. Thank you D G H.

Thanks for sharing.

That was odd to say the least. Well written but this guy was like Mr. Super man/daddy/accountant/everyfuckingthingelseunderthesun. There is no such thing as a man that perfect. Also, where was the retribution???

I wouldn't call it revenge or retaliation. Let's just call it fate. Great tale.

This story was slow and gentle. It had a vast amount of human interest in its content. The characters had plausibility and felt very real. The outcome was real feel good with the exception of Tom and Sasha.Tom and Sasha were the lowest of the characters and more time and energy on their description could've driven more emotion into this story. Five stars was the worst this story could score for me.

Phil, I have to disagree with you're questioning of the title to this delightful story. In my experience, the very best retaliation on those who have done me wrong, is to maneuver them into a situation where I am no longer the focus of their attentions.

It never takes much time before they are at one another's throats. Action junkies always need a quick fix and rarely consider the consequences of their destructive activities. Watching my enemies mindlessly tear at one another with 'fangs & claws', always brings a smile to my face.

and the cream rose to the top. TK U MLJ LV NV

Anon asked where the retribution was. I'm thinking that the best revenge is putting yourself in a position where retaliation for past slights is just too trivial to spend any real time on.

Think about it, Sam is already Bill's stepfather and will no doubt take over the company when Mary decides that she has had enough. Besides that Bill is going to spend the rest of his career waiting for Sam to drop the hammer so it really doesn't matter if he does or not.

Sam should count his blessings that Bill was such a bad friend. Can you imagine being tied to a woman like Sasha? It's often been said, that the best revenge is living well. Sam has certainly done that, so I don't see much of a reason to name this story 'Retribution'. To Bill it must have certainly felt like it, though.

I do have a couple of nit-picks -

You mention him being in the "Honor Roll" section. Honor Roll is for Elementary and Secondary schools. In college it's called the Dean's List.

You refer to Ethel as "elderly". If she is working to a normal retirement age she is only in her mid sixties, which is hardly elderly. You did something similar in another story where you referred to a woman in her sixties as being unable to care for the baby. Again, that isn't that old and it happens all the time.

I've read and enjoyed a number of this author's works. The story line on this one was good but the dialogue seemed very stilted and unrealistic. It seemed a bit off. Maybe I'm too tired or am holding this to a higher standard but for whatever reason this one didn't measure up.

A great storyline and a well written story.

I really enjoyed the read.

Thanks

Had all the right pieces without the violence. Nicely told.

she would've been dead for 20 years all ready

Very well put together and absolutely well written. Of course I would expect nothing less of you. this story was damn good reading and I enjoyed it very much. once again very good job I loved it. Five stars for this one.

Heartwarming with a good dash of naughty thrown in.

I really liked it!

I liked this story it gives warm feelings. He fell in love with the woman who he always lusted for but, got to act upon the feelings which were returned. We all should be so lucky. Love is a fleeting thing and when you find it grab it with whatever you have. That feeling will be with you forever when its real. Because someone is young does not mean they will live as long as you. Young people get sick too and go away. How does the song go "Everyone I know goes away in the end," but,the good thing about a well written story the people will always be the same as they are in the story.

Very easy reading and understanding. Well written. Actually so real to life and verrrry believable. Got a warm and fuzzy feeling reading this. Would like to read more like this. Looking forward to additional submissions. Keep up the good work.

You should be Very, very proud to have written such a good story!

Where was his revenge on Bill? Still waiting. Good for 4.

This is a warm fuzzy after some cruelty. People can be so cruel and heartless. This makes up for it. A Wonderful read. Enjoyed it very much. Thank You!

HE IS A PUSSY!!!!!

Wake up this is a story written by DGH. He never said which universe the story is set. Stop trying to apply real life stuff. If it makes you uncomfortable get over it!

If you want to hurt a guy what better line could you use “I fucked your mother or sister”. It wasn’t said but, l was thinking it. HG Hear I know you wrote a love story.

Great story..5 stars from me...

Pathetic....should have kicked Bill's ass when he found him with Sasha!

Don't know how anyone could say Sam didn't get retribution. He dodged the gold digging Sasha , he married Bill's mother and will run the business. Bill winds up with another company, and loses the gold digger to his father. Sam won it all.

This author always delivers the goods. As a side benefit, he knows how and when to write the ending.

Very entertaining. And Sam got the best revenge of all. He married Bill’s mother, so now Bill gets to call Sam “Daddy”. My God, that’s got to hurt. But from the outside looking in, it’s funny as hell. Like I said, very nice story.

How come he never mentioned to Mary his mother's birthday until she rang him up to bring something for dinner?.

"This was my grandmother's ring"

Grandma's ring for a grandma... Very fitting.

There must have been a 20+ year age gap between him and Mary, which was pretty gross. A milf fantasy is fine for a brief fling, but marrying her? By the time he's 40, she'll be a pensioner!

"Bill told me that you and he often swapped" - Of course she doesn't wait until Sam comes back to check with him.

What's the big deal with anal, other than the fact that most women apparently won't do it?

Number one, I'd be "Sorry, I won't be going to the wedding." Number two, HE can be the "bigger man" all he wants, but what about Bill? His mother MAY be able to keep a lid on him, but eventually Bill will be taking over the company. I would take on the computerization on a consultant basis, then move on.

"What about Sasha and you trying to get even with me." - Why would Sasha try to get even with him? She's marrying him! Does he mean Judy?

"Some day I would like to have a talk with you and explain to you why I did it." - Bull crap! She already told him why, or was that a lie?

Why not negotiate a higher wage? It's already going to be difficult with Bill there, why take an under-market salary to boot?

Ooh, paid holidays! How generous.

Ethel said it was partially her fault that Bill was spoiled? I think he meant Mary's fault?

"it was bi-racial but a very beautiful baby" - Bi-racial BUT beautiful? Is there any reason why bi-racial WOULDN'T be beautiful?

"I thought that Bill would be managing this business and he kept telling me you would be working for him." - Now THERE'S a great reason to cheat on your boyfriend! And how could the baby be Sam's since he always used a condom?

I wasn't sure at beginning but it was nicely done

This story went from one friend stabbing anothe friend in the back...to a wonderful love story...this story was a pleasure to read....Thank you to ths Author......

This was stupid.

Again. That was a messed up bunch of folks, but Sam and Mary definitely came out on top. Great story.

The contrast between the various couples is so strong that it can't help but drive home the point. Those with character are happy and those without are not. Lovely story.

Sasha deserves Bill as her penance and to continue her sentence, she will be with Tom the philander

Terrible story

AS USUAL MR. DG HEAR TOPS THE CHARTS AGAIN. 5 STARS!

pointless points

More pointless points from Capt. Obvious. (sbrooks)

He asks a question then answers it himself. How funny. It's like he can't think within his own head without saying it out loud.

@Anonymous

Terrible story

How many stories have you written?

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He shouldn’t blame Bill. He should blame himself for being a perpetual dumbass.