All Comments on 'Seven Years Since The Motel'

by LettersFromTatyana

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  • 12 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Where's the end?

Okay you had a few spelling mistakes but a good editor should help with those kind of problems. This seems to be the first chapter of a multi chapter story. Normally no matter how good a story is if the author doesn't indicate this is only the first chapter I refuse to read any further unless they're new to the website. So for multi part stories you might want to indicate that there is more than one chapter in the future.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
make mine a Geary's

Great start! Now muckle-down and get another installment done.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Superb !! Please keep it going---Sam

Title says it all

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Great Beginning!

Wonderful story! I'm looking forward to the next installment. I'm not as fussy as some about chapter numbers! George

StarofAirdrieStarofAirdrieabout 13 years ago

Fantastically well done. Maybe a tad drawn out in the set up but I could be wrong - I loved the part on the plane, as a statistics professor's daughter (Dad had he PhD in Econometrics). That stuff is exhausting!

Incredible first effort, can't wait for more chapters and more stories!!!

Airdrie

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
*****

Beautifully written.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Enjoyable plot and characters

Jerry in Washington state, USA - I was surprised to see that I hadn't already commented on this chapter. I wanted to read what I had written as feedback on this first chapter before I read your second chapter. Possibly I was waiting to see if there would be a second chapter - there are several writers I've enjoyed who have only written the one open-ended chapter and the second chapter never appears. I like your main character Alessandro. I enjoyed your scenes of him trying to deal with sudden fame. His discomfort with his friend Maisie was well written. I enjoyed the dynamics of his relationship with his sister Carolina. His breakup with Isabella was sad, but I'm glad he was honest with her. I felt that breakup scene was well written. I look forward to reading the second chapter.

maineman4umaineman4ualmost 13 years ago
Phew! I mistakenly typed the cooment here. Good ol' "cut 'n paste" worked. For a title: Superbly written.

This chapter was written as well as the any of my other favorite authors*. What a terrific initial jaunt into this arena. I am curious about your dissertation. Is it completed? Did your thesis involve the econometrics of a Maine recession? Looking forward to chapter 2. However, it's 0400 (EDT) and I need a couple of hours of rest. I'll do my best to catch-up to your current submissions.

*Yes! You are now 1 of 10 of my favorite authors. Yes, there were a couple of spelling (oops! spell-check) errors.

How about that? I mistakenly typed my comment in the "title" section.

SydneyBlakeSydneyBlakeover 12 years ago
Wonderful setup!

Time to do some catching up on my reading, and I'm glad I started with you, Tat. I like the way you've set up the story. Compelling characters and story. I look forward to the next chapter.

Her_ToyboyHer_Toyboyover 8 years ago
an excellent first chapter...

...that does what all beginnings ought to do: compel the reader to 'turn the page' to see what happens next.

I also admired the skillful way you parcelled out a great deal of information without it ever reading like a data dump. Chuck in graceful narration and believable, engaging dialogue and you've got a winner on all fronts. I'm eagerly anticipating the next chapter.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
Great use of flashbacks

Excellent story. the plot keeps moving along. I really like the way the author uses flashbacks to tell the back story in such a way that it really keeps the reader intrigued and engaged!

Anonymous
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