All Comments on 'An Empty Feeling'

I've been watching this author. You can actually see him improve with each story he writes. So many lessons and he's learned them the hard way. Through work.

This one is absolutely brilliant. Well done author, and thank you.

Your writing is beautfful. You words paint such a complete picture I feel the pain and the emotion, and forget I am reading a story. Nice job.

Just the ticket for the holidays...thank you, Sir.

I love your work, i read all your stories, time and again you are improving, you are already one the best writers on LIT for LW, and you are becoming better.

But why was it Erotic Coupling? LW had been perfect for it.

Anyway, good read.

This was a painful story to go through two miscarriages and then the accident. The emotional crisis she went through felt very real and it tested him to the end of his limits. Well written. <br><br>

The loss of only one twin was a bit gimmicky. The reader was carefully excluded from some of the conversation with the doctor. Your son is dead (but your daughter is doing fine). This is deceptive and unfair to the reader. We are in his thoughts but never allowed to see anything about their being twins or that his daughter survived. This is a deliberate misdirection of the reader. Not fair! <br><br>

I liked the ending where he felt guilt for the death of his son and this time his wife rescued him. Very wise, enjoy the joys you have and don't mourn over what might have been.

This is a good example that a story don't have to be trashy to be good. Keep writing the good ones. Cheer Roger.

WOW, breathtaking and made my eyes leak all over my face. Thank you oh great one.

Cheese J, it is a story.

My friend, you are just an excellent writer. You certainly brought out the emotions in me and a tear to these old eyes. Thank you so much for all you do for this site.

Dead babies are always painful to read about. Well written story, but I thought the ending was rushed. Wife recovers? Finds joy in what remained? As it ends, the aftertaste of infanticide overcomes the joy of children.

You're a good writer as always

If this was any more boring I would have guessed DGHear had written it.

Enjoy your stories, of course, no one likes to read about dead babies. My own daughter has endured and is still enduring problems carrying fetuses to full term. Pregnancy is a miracle of nature not to be taken lightly. Merry Christmas!

Great angst, tension, sadness and joy. Terrific ending. Slightly too long and slightly repetitive (2 descriptions of the accident and at least 2 passages of the hospital scenes) but probably very necessary to create the mood. Overall I liked this thoughtful story.

As someone who has been following you for quite some time on this site and watches for your next submission, I have to admit that this was one I, at first, missed. Thankfully I decided to check your page, for a slap and a tickle, to see if I had overlooked anything. You started in this rather rough category of critics and responders somewhat grammatically challenged, but fought against the nay sayers and found not only your own voice, but own style as well. I have seen a welcome return of several writers who had not submitted for some time (Woodmanone, DG Hear, HDK, Ohio, Blue88, etc.) but I still read your submissions first when I am lucky enough to find them under new submissions and am delighted to read what new flights of fancy your imagination and/or experiences have produced in literary form. To be honest I read this sight as an escape from the more canonical literature which finds itself in my more typical choice of reading as a graduate student, but, even though this is mental masturbation, you are still a step and then some above the norm. You have long since stopped being the stereotype and have come up with your own scenarios in the LW category and I very much thank you for it; your last several pieces in particular have deviated from the norm of a formulaic story about a husband finding his wife cheating on him and his reaction, in one form or another, of exacting revenge and/or leaving her. I enjoy what you contribute to this category in offering an alternative without writing about someone no one can relate very much to, or someone who can be too quickly labeled a pervert.

More to the point of this story and your current writing- you had my complete attention and rapt level of engagement by the end of your third paragraph. This story was an emotional rollercoaster from a very early point and you did a superb job in your narrative of delivering it in its entirety: thank you. I was almost thinking at the end that you were going to give us the end of the marriage, but then you delivered a baby (no pun intended) and brought us, the readers, out of despair in the same stroke as did you your characters. As much heart break as this story offers those who read it, I would still consider it a happy story considering the ending and sincerely thank you for sharing it with us. Take care, happy holidays and I await with baited breath your next submission.

-J

My wife and I had a son born on Dec. 21 1973 he was small as were all our boys but looked healthy. We took him home, on the morning of Dec 31 we woke up and could hear him in the boys room he was having trouble breathing. I went out and started our new car it started but than died it was 33deg below Zero. I called father in law and he and grandmother came over he held Chris while we got coats on. We made it to hospital and at about 1:00 PM he died. He had a deformed heart and probably would not of made it anyway. We had two other boys at the time and adopted a three year old girl in Oct of 73. In 79 we had another boy I believe that it was my wife's way of healing from the lose. We have now been married 44 years. I have 28 years of sobriety and 7 years in al anon two oldest boys got hooked on meth. They both have 6 years off the stuff and doing very well. My wife now has leukemia and under going treatment. She has been showing signs of improving. She is a gift to me from God, she stuck with me during my years of drinking and during my early recovery. I hold the whole world in my arms when I hold her. Your story was great one of the best and so realistic when telling of how much it hurts to lose a child. I still cry when I thank of the lose of Chris and we still visit his grave.

Just a real good story Slirpuff! Not much more to say! Thanks for sharing it!

Fortunately, I have experience with "Slirpuff" stories, and knew enough to just skim it. Even so, what shit!! Would have been appropriate for a category like "slow-moving, boring shit that doesn't go anywhere", if they had one. Please don't post this shit in LW anymore. Thanks in advance.

The detail of their passage through those first two miscarriages and the emotional isolation of the wife is very real. Hope it is your excellent fiction and not your experience.

My daughter was carrying twins and was rear-ended in an auto accident. This induced labor and twin girls were born at five and one-half months. The smallest twin died at six weeks. The other twin is now fifteen years old and is a joy to her grandparents.

Last year this same daughter became pregnant again with twins. The same thing happened again at five months without the auto accident.

I am not a crier but I broke down reading your story.

thank you for the good read.

Cladymoor

and a very good read. R.T.

I see this story was dated 12/2010. My how you've grown and improved in such a short time. Good work!!

You are becoming one damn good author. Thank you for sharing this gem!!

you would think that given the 2 miscarriages that with only a month left go this snake bitten couple would NOT take the risk of getting in the car ....

..a turbulence of emotions with a rollercoaster of feelings. Would like to read more about this couple's ability to come around to coping with their lives. Thank you for sharing!

As have a few others reading this, it brings back memories of my first marriage.

I had just returned from the war in Viet-nam and started to make a family with my wife. She had married me a year before and had waited for me faithfully, living with her parents again. During the first 7 years there were 3 miscarriages and 2 children dying right after birth because they were premature.This occurred even though my wife stayed in bed 7 months. I think now that those events destroyed our marriage. We had grieved in our own ways, but we were both changed after trying so hard to birth our own children. I became a 7 day a week workaholic while trying to pay the bills for all this.

She had a hysterectomy done and took care of the baby we had adopted after that effort. The child was a preemie with many medical problems and that kept us broke for several years. I had taken a better paying job that kept me away from home 7 days a week and out of state 3 times a week, all 3 overnight. (Railroad engineer) She took a lover to replace me because of my constant absence from home I am sure. Our large home was empty to me and I sub-consciously could not accept an adopted child I had not bonded with, nor a wife that had a new social life with her lover at the time, no matter discreet she was when I was home.

You know the rest... She was now a cheating wife and I felt disrespected, even though I knew I was partially at fault because of my absences. I knew we no longer loved each other as much as before for her to have done what we both did to each other... So we divorced and she remarried within five years. I found another young woman to start over again with but I lost all my property to the first wife. I actually gave her all our properties and even paid the high child-support and Spousal Maintance. I think that is normal for a husband that wants out of his marriage and leaves home to start over elsewhere. I struggled financially for the next 30 years. Yet, I put my 2 well-loved biological daughters through college and walked them both down the isle this year.

I only wrote this dull story because I still remember that "Empty feeling" and what it may have caused for 2 once-loving people. We just didn't make it, unlike what was written in this story. If I was a good writer I would have put this story on the site and jazzed it up some erotically. I am not good enough to make it a good read so teel free to use it if an author out there can do anything with it or cares to. My first wife was not a bad person initially...just like in most of these stories. We just let events change us and move away from each other. I sometimes think we sub-consciously blame each other when these type of events make us unhappy. Sorry...this story dredged up personal and painful memories. We all know that there is "Never" any communication between men and women when we are hurt and seek relief.

As far as a story...I could be the handsome, hard-working, self-sacrificing, protagonist that ran away with a beautiful young woman to be happy again? A younger woman that felt sorry for me for having to put up with a cheating, bitter, though elegant bitch that screwed other men and denied me her love?

HaHa...whatever.

Thanks Slirpuff for your story

OldMarineVet - Ron Wood

I'm glad there was a partial "happy" ending.

I lost a grand child and my daughter was devastated, but survived and had three more healthy babies.

Given their hard and painful history, why the hell would he not immediately let her know that their daughter was alive and well, then gently break the news for the loss of the son.

As I trudged through the second page and into the morass of the third page my heart was in my throat. No one has any idea of the degree of pain other individuals will carry after the lost of a loved one.

When Slirpuff sprung those last three paragraphs on us I bellowed out.

"YOU LOUSY SON OF A BITCH!"

This is a fictional story! This IS a fictional story, THIS is a fictional story.

I love it for the humanity that it expresses.

I hate it for the ending twist.

I lost my 1st son due to the doctors' best wishes and poor advice. My wife called it right, though she went into a shell afterwards, leaving me alone and wiped out. You describe the torment well, so you experienced it or talked to someone who did. Good writing. Nice touch to give them a child that lived. Mine didn't.

You missed though, he wouldn't be worried about her blaming him, but rather, him blaming her. She should not have gone. He told her that. She ignored the warning and request. Their son died because of her selfish desire to leave the house. Cognitively I understand. Emotionally, I am not sure that I ever could. Your character never even noticed. His boy died because of her selfishness. Do you believe a living man wouldn't notice? I sure as hell would have. I would be greatful for a daughter, but angry for the death of my son.

So, nice work, think it through to the ending. It seems you're always rushing the ending.

Also note (I'm sick of this crap on this site):

your - possive form, it belongs to you

you're - a contraction of "you are"

Its - possesive form, the thing it posseses

It's - contraction, "it is"

If writers don't care, who should?

As the expression goes, "If it wasn't for bad luck we'd have no luck at all." At least there was a bright spot in the end.

I've read a lot of your stories many based on sad tales but this was the most so perhaps because it hit close to home. My first ex-wife had an early miscarriage even before she knew (or told me) she was pregnant. She had been on birth control pills but must have screwed up her schedule or something. Unfortunately, I was not very sympathetic as it was so unexpected. I admire the strength of the husband in this story for his support. Few men could accomplish that.

I did find him not telling her about the survival of a daughter more than odd but guess it was to set up the ending. Well done.

Perhaps this may have been more suited to the Romance site than here in LW. Still it's a well written, emotional & frighteningly realistic story of the trauma caused by miscarriage.

You are such a good writer that I find it difficult to understand, why in many of your stories you seem to have a fetish about naming the main character Steve Moore. I find it hard to really get into most of them just because you're too lazy to change a name , if it was a series, ok, but they're not. Why is that? How hard is it too do? Should be 5 but only worth 4 ****

Nice twist, never saw that coming.

Thought that there was no hope for them, losing THREE pregnancies, almost cried learning that they had a baby!

But that was simply depressing. Not a fun read.

emotionally authentic. Five stars. I felt the surprise ending was rushed and a bit cheap.

if I babble a bit please bear with me. We, that is my wife and I have a son, and we wanted more. That was our dream, however the next time she was pregnant she lost the baby in the early part of her second trimester. You see we had waited a bit because both sets of parents convinced us that we could not afford another child. We finally decided that we would do whatever we could but we wanted them closer together. When she miscarried we were devastated. At this point we decided to wait again. Till we moved on. Well while we were waiting she got hit by a mother driving a minivan to a different school from where my wife worked and as my wife was crossing the street she got hit because this woman came flying down the road, over a small hill then she saw my wife. On a wet and slippery road this woman left a seventy four foot length of skid marks which was evaluated as a speed of fourth five mph. This in a dual school zone where the speed limit was set at fifteen mph. The driver knew the area as she lived around the corner and was in a hurry. Due to her injuries my wife spent two months in hospital and another six learning how to walk again. The doctors all told us she should be able to get pregnant just not likely. We tried, oh how we tried, for more than ten years we tried. Came close three times but now she couldn't go to term and if she did it would be risking her life and definitely be a c-section birth. But, she wanted so we tried. We finally lost hope and we're happy with our son. One time during an argument my wife told me flat out that she blamed me for us not having more kids because "I" listened to our parents and waited. Mind you before this she never said anything. What do I know I'm just a man. I was supposed to pick up on subtleties that said while she said she agreed that she really wanted to start for more. So let me get this out to any females out there, us guys need for you females to tell us the truth, no hints or subtleties, just tell us straight up what you want. So now I know. We still try but she is in the danger zone now age wise as well as medically speaking to either carry to term with the birth killing her possibly, the child may be a downs child, or something else. What is it that they say, man plans and G-D laughs.

In any event, I can empathize to a degree, but at least I have my son thank G-D who is healthy. As for more, when I brought it up we looked into it as well as surrogates in vitro and a number of other options. The cost just to adopt is more than thirty thousand. Between attorney fees and medical clearance, it boggles the mind. We looked into fostering children, but, she was afraid of getting too attached to a child that may be taken away from us at any time.

Thank you for the offering, gave it a five, but this one hit a raw nerve.....

are attached to the ego-feeling of loss due to unknown mortality. TK U MLJ LV NV

Even with the twist at the end this is one sad story.

this was well deserving of the 5 stars I gave it. Albeit it is a sad story, but at least the ending was somewhat bitter sweet. The story in and of it's self was a damn good story. With the way you had everything flow together as smoothly as you did was nothing short of greatness. This is absolutely going into one of my most favorite stories, even if it is as sad as it was. But the thing is, that this is actually something that could really happen to some unfortunate man and wife. So sad. Thanks for writing something like this so well.

Wow! 5 stars through my tears!

Terrific writing. Really pulled me into the miasma of grief that come with these events. Well done. Truly felt for your protagonists. Keep up the good work. Definitely going into my top ten list.

Wow! I am drained. I gasped when I read the line about the final wreck. I kept waiting for the bad news to come and was numb when it did...until reading about the surviving daughter. You are a talented writer, sir. I hope you publish some of your work, if you haven't already started. Thank you for sharing your art with us.

Not that it wasn't fairly well written, but it was depressing as hell. You do remember that this is a PORN site, right?????

and those are the best if time is going to count. TK U MLJ LV NV

wow that was some depressing shit.

Helping to offset the score of the asshole of LIT!

VOTE 1* FOR EVERY STORY RATED BY THAT TRANNY BITCH FOOL VASTIESMITH2 AKA BONNIETAYLOR2 AKA ANON!

You are so empathetic. This was very real. Thank God I never had to go through losing a baby with my wives(I lost two to cancer). Good read and keep up the good work. Ignore those who see only black because they have their heads up their asses and roll around in circles.

He was very sympathetic and understanding but still very hurt having to go through the long grieving and healing process only to be ambushed again!

Touching story! Great outcome!

Damnit, got me with the waterworks. Excellent story.

I so worried about how you end this and as I sit here crying I thank you.

This was a wonderful story. Deserving of 5 stars.

This is a wonderful story which delicately addressed the issue of loss pregnancies. Being the husband of wife who had two pregnancies that did not go to term, this story hit home. (BTW, my pet peave, I hate the phrase "losing a baby". To me, it kind of puts unintentional blame on the mother. She didn't lose the baby; the pregnancy just didn't end in live birth for reasons usually remain unknown. But I digress).

The first was miscarriage which my wife handled well considering. Me, on the other hand, it hit me harder than I thought I would. I always thought of it as nature's way of handling a non-viable embryo. However, my first born brought a whole new perspective before the miscarriage happened. It was an empty feeling when my wife told me of the miscarriage as that perspective made me realize that was my child. I now understand that miscarriages are more than a biological function, it's also a loss of someone's child. I'm OK, but there will always be a sense of loss.

The second was further along and hit my wife hard. Nothing worse than having to give birth to a dead baby. All the work of delivery only to result in loss. For me, I just buried my feelings as I had to be source of strength for her and our first born. I have to say that faith can help in these situations. One day my wife, months after the delivery, started crying out of the blue. She had been beating herself over "why" it happened. It was a shock to me as thought she had dealt with it. I took a breath, looked into her eyes and said to her, "we may never know why it happened, we have to trust that God is in control and he knows what he is doing." That's all she needed.

Years later, she got her answer while dancing her "Mother-Son Dance" at his wedding. She wouldn't had that dance with our wonderful son, as we were going to stop at two for reasons of her health. He was her fourth and final pregnancy, but would had been had the third pregnancy went to term. I ask her would give up that moment for anything? She said, "absolutely not!" Do the two shortened pregnancies still hurt? Yes, but she now has closure.

Brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing it.

I clicked on this by accident but didn't realize it wasn't my normal category until I was hooked and had to finish reading.

Tell me with all the issues they had he would even consider driving the wife to wal/mart the scum of the earth comp... main employer in the PLA , biggest exploiter of our labor pool in the US ,out/law in the E/U for unfair labor exploitation and compliances…….Rat comp....

You read this heart wrenching story and all you find to bitch about is him doing business with Wal-Mart? You are one cold hearted SOB.

You, sir, are a bag of ass nuggets. Take your idiotic Wal-Mart rant and take it somewhere where somebody gives a damn. Comment on the story but leave your personal vendetta's up your ass where you pulled them from.

Excellent story with a unique story line.

Why,would be even think about taking his wife to Walk Mart given her medical history?.Did they sue the kids insurance company for their injuries and loss of their son?.

Damn!

Very, very touching story and one I would habe never expected on an erotic story site.

As for the person with the political agenda about WalMart, I suggest the following:

Get a fucking life. People like you are so fucking easily offended and outraged that you just have to find one little thing and it sends you over the edge.

Shit happens etc

I get mad and upset with society and world my release

Old days hit tree or wall after finally facing facts I quit

It's life No garden of Eden

Snuck one in on us tis time, didn't you? He should be crowned a saint for what he put up with and how he handled it.

To deal with one of the most painful things a couple can go through, you wrote an agonizing story in the most sensitive way I can imagine. No need to go into anything about insurance companies, lawsuits, etc., that would only detract from what was important here. It might be the thing to do but it makes me half ill that anyone would even bring that up as it has nothing to do with the sense of loss and healing they had to go through. Signed: BTW

Tear jerker done quite well

Thank you

W

A sad story with a happier ending. The surprise was well hidden.

Talk about bad luck. They had more than their fair share.

But when a doctor tells u in these circumstances bed rest only, they mean it.

This couple threw the dice each time when they did have to and lost.

How stupid were they?

So howcome they never sued the two car drivers?.

Hard to sue a dead kid...

If the kid driver is under 18, sue his parents!

I will now cut my wrists.

Nitpic - SERIOUSLY, you need to read the story. You want him to sue himself? Steve and the dead driver of the blue Camry were the only two drivers involved.

MarkT63 - not really...you sue the estate. That being said, depending on the value of the kid's estate, the suit will likely cost more than the settlement.

Heck, dependin on the kid's insurance, suing his estate is likely going to eat-up most of the insurance payment for the injuries and death of their son.

What a sad and tragic story, in the end the family did survive and so did one of the twins. It is sad when one loses a child, I can only speak from experience, the loss is something you never can really get over, but yet life has to go on. Story was sad and well written and ended on a somewhat happy note with the one twin surviving and as they said be happy with what you have and not what you could have had. Gets my 5-star vote

😥😢😭🥺

We'll ridden story, it just broke my heart is all

5 stars .. i only give 5 for those that brings out emotion

Excellent story, but sad also. As far as a lawsuit I guess no one has ever heard of a "risk pool", where a motorist is insured but not really. They pay exorbitant rates, have minimum coverage and can have as little as 10/30 insurance. That means no more than 10K per individual and 30K no matter how many are injured. And let's not forget an uninsured motorist.

Great story. Lots of emtion. Thanks for your writing.

Great story. So encompassing. Thoroughly loved. Sad for the child’s death. But a great story. Thanks

How stupid was the protagonist, telling her as soon as she is cognizant that they have lost their son!! Knowing their past history, his first words should have been that they have a daughter, taken by C-section but had lost their son. There would have been grief but not total misery. Still, a good story. 5*s.

Hard to believe he failed to mention their daughter had survived right after telling her the bad news. Simply unbelievable.

I've never commented on a story on this site before, but I'm thinking your style and story if one of the best I've ever read here. A real tear jerker, keep up the good works. Thank you.

Calling absolute bullshit. This went from a 5 to a 1. There is no way he "forgets" to mention one twin survived. Save your dramatic effect bullshit for the idiots.

Very sad tale. And an unfinished one too.

Was nearly perfect but somehow he forgets to tell her that their daughter survived? Oh please.

muy buena historia.

When I started reading this story I was in a happy mood but that quickly changed.

A very sad story indeed.

That hits you right in the feels.

Sometimes God decides, "fuck that person in particular!" These two were victims of such wrath. At least that's what a religious person might conclude. I just say they were unfortunate. But they did get a lovely little girl in the end so you know silver lining.

Sad story unless you are a parent who has had children who were born early and realize there is a whole lot of embellishment in this story going on. My 1st son was 2.5 weeks early and he was over 9lbs. My second son was a month early and he was almost exactly 9lbs, ( No, my wife wasn't lying to me, both boys are mine and our dates were all correct). 3 weeks early should not have been a factor, even for twins and even if they induced they should have been born healthy. I realize she was hit by a car, but your story seems to make a big deal about the baby coming into the world 3 weeks early.

a really good story, first all the things they had to go through to have a child, but they got through them all, a story with deep feelings