by SweetOblivion
Good solid imagery which is engaging enough to take the reader on a ride. Nice.
There are some really memorable lines, especially lines 4 and 5 of stanza 2. I felt you could sharpen a few other lines but it is a good read. Ty
Intriguing, and so well composed. Personally, I so enjoy this nature of style that invites interpretation and whets the imagination.
Nicely written, except for the frequent line breaks. Maybe it's just me, but when I read it with imagined line breaks fewer in number and with certain line ending words, it flowed for me better.
"spotlit bruise" great juxtaposition
"...ablaze with shadows" confusing to me.