by balboa_rain
If this author isn't the biggest loser on this site between him and bake boss they should get together to compare who is the biggest asshole.
and never come home again. Anyone who would show so little respect for their spouse should be left on there own. All of the stories that you have written are about the same type of bitches. Some slut that just wants to humiliate her husband. You must be a pussy or a wimp, please do not post anymore more of this stuff in the LW category, put it in the fetish category. Or better yet just stop writing this crap.
A good story, but not worth a good score since you left it incomplete. Yes, one author is famous for his abrupt endings, but he still wraps them up. You didn't.
This writer has no balls. He must be a eunuch. Just like any asshole wimp cuckold sissy that reads and jerks off to this story and gives it 5 stars. Seek help for being a sissy boy.
I would like to think that any person can make a mistake. I thought I would give the author the benefit of the doubt and try another story. Unfortunately, it was just a milder form of "This Is Whose Fantasy?" OK, the bondage/rape/forced cuckolding was missing, but the husband, Rick, lacked balls just like Gary in the other story posted today. What husband would simply lie in bed next to his wife while she's getting boned by another man, a stranger, no less? OK, he was smashed during the evening romp, but he was sober and did nothing, absolutely nothing, while Tom fucked his wife Teresa RIGHT NEXT TO HIM the next morning!
There was no character development to make the reader believe that Rick would want his wife to cuckold him. There was also no evidence the story was reviewed by an editor. " . . . he replied while looking over at Teresa and I," is but one of a number of writing errors that an editor (and maybe even MS Word) might have caught. While readers in this website don't expect Shakespeare, the writing is much easier to read when simple English mistakes are absent.
Finally, as others have mentioned, there was no ending. Lack of an ending makes reading a story rather pointless. It's analogous to printing a mystery with the last few pages missing. The reader wonders why he/she bothered -- it really detracts from one's enjoyment of a story. Of course, this story lacked eroticism and credibility, so enjoyment is difficult from almost any perspective.
This is just pathetic. Couldn't be worse. You must hate married men.
Please, please, please tell us your New Years resolution is to take a gun and blow the back of your head off. That would mean more precious resources like food, water and air for people that, unlike you, have something of value to add to society.
And toss her in the street a mile from the party, naked! He didn't deserve what she did. By the time she got home she wouldn't live there and the divorce started. Then, whatever her resolution, it wouldn't matter anymore. author, try writing a story with an honorable man in it.
This simply isn't a story. It's the beginning of a story, with no resolution or denouement or completion. We don't have a clear picture of what the husband thinks or feels about what he witnessed, let alone what will happen next. It's just not something we can enjoy, or judge, as a complete story.
ohio
It's funny to read these comments (mostly by chicken-shit "anon" users) that will down vote a story because they think a fictional tale is "real"... *rolling eyes* Get a grip and get a life little boys.
I would of left her there. Tom could have her. She wouldn't need to tell me her New Years resolution because she would of been a free woman. Nice story and well written.
Thought it was reasonably well written actually, but is it finished or not? You do have a chance to redeem yourself. I hope you do. good luck.
If this is a complete story I did not like the ending, unless your purpose was to leave the reader hanging. If not, have to wait and see.
You've got talent and I hope there is more to this story, but enjoyed it as it is! Grow a thick skin as this sort of story brings some mighty shitstorms down on you (I should know...lol). Ignore the attacks and embrace the positive or constructive comments. Bravo!
I enjoyed what you have developed so far. There are lots of areas that you can develop. Besides the obvious 'hanger' at the end ... there are plenty of questions to answer about their characters, the pre-planned party and who had prior knowledge, etc. Why did it seem that Rick was the only one not aware? Has Teresa even noticed how upset Rick it and does she care?
Would like to see how you develop it further.
Waste of time. Wimp husband slut wife who hates him, the end.
I hope you're not too fucking stupid to listen to some serious advice, but I'm pretty sure you are. It is obvious that you have NO Life, it is obvious that you don't get laid, and probably haven't had any in over a decade... you can sit here and feed your sick and pathetic desire to humiliate yourself until you eventually find yourself on your knees sucking a dick... or you can wake the fuck up and fix your own life! Get off this board, and invest the time and energy meeting a woman and getting laid. Fix your life, don't bother spreading your crap here, we're not interested, and it just makes us realize what a pathetic loser you are.
These stories are are comedies, farces, a parities of the worst of the LW genre. The characters are so exaggerated as to be absurd. Interesting way of poking the LW crowd in the eye without them even seeing it (no pun intended, but I'll take it).
i find it extremely hard to believe a man would just lie in bed and pretend to be asleep while his wife was having sex in the bathroom and on the other side of the bed with another man(or anyone else), and then the next morning he does absolutely nothing... but hey, you're the writer and this is your creative piece. if this is what you enjoy then write for yourself and take all the negative comments with a grain of salt
He should take this bitch to the cleaners. That bitch willingly fucked another man knowing that her husband was at the party. She has destroyed his ego and his feelings. He is now the laughing stock to all of the friends (I guess they weren't really HIS friends, but certainly want to be hers). I mean, come on, how obtuse does the wife have to be to not realize that the husband is upset about her fucking Tom. I hope there will be a second chapter that will hopefully boost up this story. Maybe in that one the husband will grow a pair.
Some nervous little boy perhaps but a grown man or maybe your definition of a man and whoring slut are different than mine. Make her gt all the medical test then divorce her using the med test as evidence.
Rick says, " I know what it is. I will not cheat."
you have lost all reason to live? All your stories say the same thing: you are disgusted with your inadequate penis. You have no self-esteem. You like the idea of your wife (whatever name you give to her) fucking other men without you enjoying in it for unknown reasons, or, maybe it's the sympathy you seek? Or, is it that you are the she in your life and she is the real man? So, I ask again, when did you realize you have lost all reason to live?
Sorry but your writing doesn't seem to do it for me. No rhym or reason to this story. It just seems to fall of the end of the earth and goes no where. I'll try your next one with hope
You are not 'straight' change your profile to GAY SISSY BOY WITH NO PRICK. Just fucking DIE already. There is no point to your continued exsistance.
Man you are one sick Fuck, i hope your wife does that to you then maybe you can sit and laugh about it with her new man
You can't possibly be that stupid? writing a story like this just means you want to suck cock. I realize you're probably a fucking loser who hasn't had sex in 10 years... but seriously, instead of wasting all of our time with crap like this... focus on fixing your life. either get a sex life with women, or go out and suck cock, start being honest with yourself.
FIDELITY WILL NOT BE #1 ON HER LIST. AND HUBBY IS A KNOWING CUCK. TK U MLJ LV NV
Please expand yourself and put meat on these bones. Expose who they are, what was said on the way to the party, why ingest pot, there are vaporizers now, or put it in the party. What was going on while he ingested so many libations? Fill in some emotions, imagery for the mind to work with, or relate to; be it anger, rage, revenge, or on the other end eroticism, and all its paths. Pull your face up from that glass of booze and look around you. Find your inner warrior, and charge that keyboard, make it sing.
Who can enjoy shit like this???? Do guys really have a fantasy of being a weak wimp that loves to be disrespected and degraded? Is there really a man who could call himself a man that would lay there in bed while his wife was fucking a stranger? God I feel sorry for this author. One sick puppy.
PLEASE tell me what...the...FUCK this asshole of a so-called 'writer' intended to convey with this pathetic drivel?
The writer should be anally probed by aliens.
HA Ha ha
what husband that was still breathing would lay there and listen to his wife get fucked and then talk shit about him? Toms nuts would be up his ass and his cock yanked off and then beat the shit out of him. this is really sick fucked up shit. give it up.
I got up when they passed out .went in the bathroom there was my wifes panties and his pants my wifes rings were on the sink so i put them in my pocket. I then toke the panties and proceeded to sop up the cum that was running out.I then toke my phone out slipped the covers down and toke pictures of the naked pair toke their keys and wallets and later when they came down i said goodby slut and pushed her into his arms telling him that he can have the pig now.I put all her stuff into storage and changed locks she keeps calling me saying it was a mistake and I told her not my mistake goodby
you fuck someones wife next to them in bed.... balboa, you say you're over 18???? I don't buy that for a minute. I mean shit!, if you are... you're certainly a fucking retard!
Fuck you little wimpy creeps, no wonder you can't keep women.
This story for ripped. Has to read it to see if it really was that bad. Yep, totally.
The rest of the comments were correct, not enough character development with anyone, it would seem that these friends of theirs do this a lot considering the morning after snide remarks. Not enough info about the wife, doesn't seem that loving or respectful. No history to understand why, and if she cheated before. It seemed like she does. If the guy was so pissed, he should have kicked the guys ass the night before or in the morning, or just left the slut. Seem so unbelievable.
At least you put something out there. Keep writing and maybe read or take a course on writing.
Silly cuck tale. Husband gets drunk. Wife gets wasted and screws a guy twice in the bed with hubby. He does nothing and is just a weak, spineless moron. His life is now over as a slut is born and a cuck will soon be yet another idiot to fill out another awful story.
You want a divorce because you dont respect your husband.
Yes, I Would
I would certainly like to hear her New Year's Resolutions. But I would really like to hear their conversation on the way home. I hope he kicked her ass to the curb. Why do so many wives think their husbands would approve of new sex techniques the wives learned from other men?
PIty. This story could be a good one. But there are many occasions you drove it more and more down.
I cannot understand why autors are not telling at the beginning of the story that it is one about cuckolding and humiliation. Maybe it is a kind of masochism reading all this negative comments.