All Comments on 'Ma Petite Mort Ch. 02'

An editor may help you in future submissions, unless you understand the difference between past and present tense. It's distracting to have both within one tale, and not common practice, per se.

Also, try working on more character and scene build up. Even though 750 words is the minimum for this site, you don't "have to stop soon after". You can take your time with development.