All Comments on 'Down, Boy!'

by Firebrain

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  • 39 Comments
tenstensabout 13 years ago
Rock on!

This essay was full of good advice that was well written; it definitely relieved some fears I had about my next alpha not being "Alpha" enough. I've already got a couple of edited lines in mind for my next chapter. Thank you so much for posting!

It's good to read that someone else is annoyed with abuse passing as an alpha's unbridled love or reading "I just had to come inside you without your consent in an attempt to impregnate you. 'Cause that's what the ultimate expression of my love for you is - you, pregnant, giving up all your hopes and dreams to love me and bear as many children as I want..."

CyranoAnderssonCyranoAnderssonabout 13 years ago
Hilarious

I stopped being an avid reader of tree-format lit around about the time the internet was invented so I've avoided most of the whole sexy-vampire bollocks, but I did attempt a few Anne Rice novels MANY moons ago. ***pulls a face***

Thoroughly enjoyable article. I was unaware there was such a huge problem with writing strong male characters, but that's probably coz I am such an awesome guy

lostchickenlostchickenabout 13 years ago
hihihihi

This is a godsend and definitely what I needed write now as I pen my next chapters. Thank you so much for posting and for giving me a laugh. I loved Mr Match Made in Hell & Mr Big(amy).

fridayamfridayamabout 13 years ago
Brilliant

an object lesson in the art of the essay:)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
*****

Brain on fire, indeed. Well done. And funny, too.

Five bright stars.

AbdulbenthereAbdulbenthereabout 13 years ago
I LOVE IT! Ladies so often get characters wrong

I LOVE IT! Ladies so often get characters wrong

One of my pet peeves (I had a dog named "Peeve" and a cat named "Caboodle" so I could talk about the "whole kitten Caboodle") is that female writers ferequently don't understand the needs of males (especially beta males, but that's another story.): We don't always think with our testicles.

Check out my latest post to Literotica about a man who love his wife of over 40 years:

May I Borrow Your Rope, Hodja? - My wife is in the kitchen stark naked.

      Submitted by Abdulbenthere  (Humor & Satire) 12/23/10

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=508961

MilkChocolateAmazonMilkChocolateAmazonabout 13 years ago
*Chuckle*

That was a brilliant a piece of writing. Very funny and highly entertaining. Will refer to this in future if I ever write again. Most insightful!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Well done!

And kudos if this pisses off a few orientationally ambiguous bald headed narcissists dressed in black.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
So true!

This is so true and just as comical as you describe it. Another thing that annoys me: alpha male characters who talk way to emotionally to actually be Men. Also, why are they always business men?! Can I please have one good romance story where the alpha male is a doctor, but without the "exam fetish". I like my alpha-men nerdy and slightly awkward! Sue me! Thanks for giving writers these tips on writing delicious male characters who aren't ridiculous!

La_ReinaLa_Reinaabout 13 years ago
Interesting!

I just had to write (type?) that this was very interesting. I love it and agree with you wholeheartedly. Though, it did make me rethink some of the stories I had written. >_< Anywho, I'm going to write a new uber (I'm bringing that word back) awesome Alpha story... for the boob shot. Yes, I'm female. Yes, I want to see them anyway.

cinnamon_kisses12cinnamon_kisses12about 13 years ago
so true!*****

I try to study men and it's so hard! There's so much I don't know that I would just love to observe! And since I love alpha men, I need to study them. Your article certainly helped! I do feel my creative juices flowing...

AzanianHeatAzanianHeatabout 13 years ago
Loved this

Relevant, spot-on, thorough breakdowns! Definitely my new Favourite.

Thanks!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago

Very cool:) thank you

fire_breezefire_breezeabout 13 years ago
Intensely amusing!

I couldn't stop laughing as I read this. You write with such wit, such incredible insight, that it was pure joy to read.

And the advice was spot on! :p

SweetMerrySweetMerryabout 13 years ago
Thanks for this

I'm in the throws of turning what I thought would be a one-off story into a series. I need to write my 2D guy as something a little more realistic (which should be fun, since he's Fay...a big *ahem*, tall, hunky dude with pointy ears.) I got some great ideas here. So, thanks!

Dee_DubDee_Dubabout 13 years ago
Holy. Effing. Loved it.

For reals.

I think you might be a little crazy, but I dig it, so please keep writing. Truthfully, my males don't tend to be all that alpha-y, but you were spot on with a lot of what bugs me about some of the stuff I read. And who knows? Maybe I'll try my hand at an alpha soon. (Hmmm...)

Also? I had a little giggle-snort when you brought in Mary Sue. Thanks for that. She does tend to run with the really cunty Alphas, doesn't she? :-)

LaFemmeWildcatLaFemmeWildcatover 12 years ago
loved it!

i love your writing! you are so funny and witty(:

(le swoon) <-- i actually lol'd at that

GirlintheMoonGirlintheMoonalmost 12 years ago
Fabulous!

So smart and hilarious. Thank you!

OriynlaceOriynlaceover 11 years ago

AHAHAHA!!!! Awesome!

B161B161over 11 years ago

*Tips her imaginary hat*

cittrancittranover 11 years ago
*takes B1's hat*

*tips it as well*

...I wish I had my own hat to tip.

*hands hat back*

ShawnSwiftShawnSwiftover 11 years ago
Um, you forgot a gender...

As awesome as the Alpha male occasionally is, how about the Alpha female? What she lacks in size (usually but not always), she makes up for with personality. Sometimes, telling everyone you're in charge is enough. Sometimes, sheer force of will takes you further than anything else ever could.

I've seen a 4'11" female cow men 6ft + by simply using large words in a rapid-fire manner. If they can't keep up and it looks like she knows what she's doing at the same time, the males are going to listen to that female. You can't argue when you can't keep up.

The mark of a true Alpha is knowing when to defer to other people who actually know what they're doing. People will listen and respond better to someone who's not above letting those around him/her to do what they're good at. What's an Alpha without his/her betas? You can't be great all by yourself; you're all by yourself.

I appreciate this essay as it gave me insight into some poorly crafted characters. I now understand why a lot of male-leads written by females look like they've come out of the same mold; it's because they have. I also appreciate that you didn't just point out the problem but you also attempted to address it. Well played ma'am.

SevenSquaredSevenSquaredabout 11 years ago
Excellent Guide

At the moment I am writing a story with an AM in for the first time and this really helped me get a few things straight in my head.

Only one additional thing I would like to have seen covered. You mention the AM who is just *becoming* alpha (the grasshopper) but what about the opposite case? The guy who has always been the AM, but is now having to come to terms with his status being under threat. A classic example might be a jock football player who was used to being worshiped at his high school, but is now at college where he is struggling to make the team. Or you could have the cliche'd 'powerful businessman' whose company gets swallowed up by a larger one and he finds himself having to report to a man who is a younger, hungrier version of himself. Do you think this kind of character has a place in erotica, or does he kind of lose his sex appeal at this point?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago
Fantastic

Thanks for writing this!

EmbersToAshesEmbersToAshesalmost 11 years ago
Absolute great.

Having recently realised every attractive alpha-male I love in my head is clumsy and annoying and horrible to read back on paper, thank you so much. This is useful, well-thought-out advice and is personally going to be a massive help, I'm sure. Not to mention it made me laugh a few times, which is always nice.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
No, no... You get the cookie!

This was perfect. Now to blend it with all those "how not to write a mary sue" blogs and there may be some hope for the genre yet! Meanwhile, I'm off to try and figure out a decent "match mad in hell" story. Cookies for inspiration.

~Jenna

talldarkfellowtalldarkfellowover 10 years ago
Abso-fricking-lutely funny. And useful.

I have seen most of these archetypes in fiction, and I agree with your diagnosis of them Dr. Firebrain. Unfortunately too many authors, of both sexes, fall so hard in love (lust) with their alphas they are willing to bend space, time and credulity to have everything "turn out all right in the end". Even if the reader is left thinking the alpha/female protagonist relationship can't possibly work out beyond the self-contained maze of the author's plotline.

After all, most authors see themselves as Bethany, not Zara, and if Alph doesn't wind up with your avatar, why bother writing the story in the first place? As a card-carrying Gamma male (comic relief) I almost have to plot an Apocalypse to imagine a Bethany noticing my surrogate characters actually exist without having them set their hair on fire. Zaras are just a faint vapor trail 30,000 feet above their heads.

If you are waiting for most authors to admit their issues and take your prescriptions, I suggest bringing along some light reading to pass the time.

Perhaps the Encyclopedia Britannica.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
Very nice

I don't know why but the thought of an impotent alpha really put me in the mood of writing a story about a lame guy. Lame as in actually paralyzed from the waist down. I just think it might be an interesting thing to try to tackle writing a believable alpha in wheelchair. :)

And with this little how to in my mind who knows...Maybe i can. :)

FA_JFFA_JFabout 10 years ago
Hey potential author!

To the nonnie thinking about writing a paralyzed alpha male....GO FOR IT! the vast majority of stories are literally in your face with 'it's all about the cock.' What happens when that is taken out of the equation? There is so much more available to play with...

MrsPrideAsideMrsPrideAsideabout 10 years ago
Sorry...

No longer at 69 favorite votes.

jimjon7jimjon7almost 10 years ago
Gentle alphas,

I personally am an alpha/dom if that is your way of putting it, and I enjoy reading about people like me, but at the same time I become tired with the amount who beat their women or call them bitch an such, now my girlfriend who lives with me has given all control to me, she doesn't worry about anything, and I wish people would touch on that more, also even then I'm no big wig in a company I'm just a humble country boy logging the hickory forests of Tennessee, so, by the way I go by daddie when I'm hone ;)

Belle_MarieBelle_Marieabout 9 years ago

1. I LOVE YOUR REFERENCES. I think I understood most of them!!!!

2. You should incorporate thr psychology behind why we're making Cain the love interest into another essay... Or now, that works too.,

IvoryTuskIvoryTuskabout 9 years ago
Awesome read

I think I sort of read through this with my head spinning, because it was just highlighting how much I don't get the entire "alpha male" trope. But, I think while reading I realised that, where male writers get a lot of flak for writing the badly-fleshed-out "sex object women", this is the opposite end of the spectrum, where female writers write the badly-fleshed-out "alpha men". So it wasn't necessarily the trope itself I've "wtf'd" at in the past, it's the bad examples of it.

I still find the entire "alpha" and "beta" thing a little too simplified to ever fully get behind (human social structures can be way more complex than that, healthy ones certainly are in my experience, and wolves do not actually operate that way), but I guess if I can simplify it to those terms, then I've never seen alphas as the domineering asshole - alphas are the one who look after their pack, because there is no alpha with no pack. Leadership=responsibility and all that. So all these fictional bad-boy "alphas" have always seemed exactly that to me - fictional. The fiery, heart-racing, bad-boy trope, the dangerous one that women want to be dominated by, but also to tame, he's not an alpha. He's the lone wolf who doesn't want to follow but doesn't know how to lead.

Of course this is just me spouting my opinions, since it was a fun read that got me thinking. I don't really understand the trope's lure so there's every chance I've got the wrong end of the stick.

BuzzkillTitanBuzzkillTitanover 8 years ago
Nice Guy Alpha Found In Unexpected Place

Cartoons. WAIT, JUST HEAR ME OUT! Undoubtedly, some of the more traditional cartoons practically shove alpha stereotypes down your throat, but some of the more recent ones have really been making an effort to push the boundaries of relationship dynamics, as well as introducing more human elements into their characters. If I had to cite one example, it'd be from Steven Universe (specifically his father, Greg). If you don't think I'm making sense, just let me describe the nice-guy-mold-breaking-Alpha in question.

Greg Universe is a man who is musically inclined; he's able to play multiple instruments, do his own audio and video for his performances, and sing amazingly. The only thing that matches his music ability is his kindness. However, that is also one of his greatest flaws. His talent is manipulated and abused by his scumbag of a manager, Marty, a real honest to goodness prick who exploits Greg (having a 75-25 cut on any money made) as well as everyone around him.

"I'm going to make us both rich; *whispers* and as far as these salt-water saps are concerned, we already are. So let's live it up before we hit the road!"

-Marty

It's implied later that he really 'lived it up' with some of the female residents of Beach City (a place they were playing at [read: Greg was playing at]) after a conversation with Greg, after the latter was signing about a girl he saw at his show,

Marty: Oh boy, here we go, how big was she?

Greg: 8 feet tall, Massive hair...

Marty: See Greg, this is your problem. You want one huge woman when you could have multiple smaller ones...

Greg: Ugh, Marty, women are people...

I admit, I don't do this show justice with this description, so to best see Greg's character in action, see the "Story for Steven" episode. To see the dynamic between him and Rose in the early stages of their relationship, see the "We Need to Talk" episode. I hope with that I've managed to persuade you, and if I did, then I believe you owe Rebecca Sugar a picture of your breasts ;)

ChastellChastellabout 7 years ago

This is hilarious! I'm ashamed to admit I was laughing so hard, I didn't even grab a lot of the advice. I have to go back and reread...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago

Am still laughing. Thank you so much for that. And for the great ideas. I've got a story kicking around in my head about a dude who is a REAL alpha--man by day, giant black bear by night--but now I have tons of ideas to make him more...er...real. Thank you for THAT, too

DaddyIrishmanDaddyIrishmanalmost 6 years ago
Breathstrip and Blowjobs

First off I thought this was a very good read and provoked a lot of ideas and thought, thank you.

I did have to reply about the whole no giving a blowjob with a breathstrip on your tongue. I had to smile at a similar poor experience as a teenager. My girlfriend at the time was from Mexico and one afternoon was eating some sticky tamarind candy (acidic, unique and a bit spicy) and got this “great” idea to put it on my cock and give me a blowjob, trying to be adventurous and sexy. Both the little head and the big head on me didn’t think it through and also thought it was a “great” idea. As it turns out it burns like a complete motherfucker!! It ended the blowjob quick and was extremely embarrassing to be at the public drinking fountain desperately trying to wash it off my cock while I thought acid had been spread around my manhood. (I had no water or anything to try to accomplish this more discreetly and not be a complete moron) And yes, we were teens and messing around at a public park trying to be discreet. All I can say is thank god there was no one around, and no one saw so I didn’t get arrested for public indecency.

All said and done... Worst. Blowjob. Ever.

-DaddyIrishman

Legio_Patria_NostraLegio_Patria_Nostraabout 3 years ago

Damn. Reads like a spicy textbook! Your screen name is reflective of your inner workings! In fact, this will take a couple of readings to absorb and learn all I can.

Your approach is appreciated, because the death of good fiction, in all mediums, is the emergence of one-dimensional characters, who are all good or all bad. Black and white, with no shades of gray. They invariably feel no inner conflicts, are totally congruent in all thinking, all actions and are as unpredictable and as alike as something off an assembly line. Yeah, the package, the coating, the voltage might be different, but inside, they act, talk, feel, think and resonate, just alike.

One final note: the use of selected quotes helped frame the context, the intent of your points.

Thanks for the insight.

Rgds,

TSF

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