All Comments on 'Talla's Temple Ch. 15'

by xtorch

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cryforhelpcryforhelpabout 13 years ago
Way the world should be

It's a nice concept that a woman owes a man sex when she (might have) aroused him. I liked that part, not too big a fan of the whipping though.

I'm a bit hazy on the genealogy part of Talla, it could use a full explanation again at some point. Nice storyline filling chapter, and thank you for posting so quickly!

xtorchxtorchabout 13 years agoAuthor
I never meant it to be a utopia

Just a different way of getting along.

If it helps, I think Zhair'lo and Talla are coming to agree with you.

nigilnigilabout 13 years ago
still going strong

I like that your story doesn't feel "worn out" yet and keeps fleshing out the world your characters live in, like the Fighters just now and possibly other factions elsewhere. The map in my head keeps expanding nicely.

And now I'm ancious to know who Talla really is, or maybe even from where.

But also know it's not the most exciting story to read, more emotions for the reader, maybe a bit of drama, would make it more memorable. You already have the "strangeness" of this most different world going for you (and all of it without strange Aliens, wow).

Very well written on the other aspects, new places to "see", people to meet. Please keep going.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Dry opinion

Nice.

hakdrakkenhakdrakkenabout 11 years ago

Wow. So begins the rebellion, with a pair of sore breasts.

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The next chapters of "Two Hundred Dollars More" are up on the Patreon page for anyone subscribing to the $1 tier. https://www.patreon.com/xaviertorch I'm currently also working on the third novel in the Talla's Temple series. My first novel is Talla's Temple. I know, it co...

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