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How to Write a How-To

byNoira©
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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous02/01/11

Perhaps you should

look up the definition of "impact" as a verb. Then your first caveat might be, "Have an editor look over your essay and correct it. This makes your audience less likely to stop reading after the first paragraph."

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by Anonymous02/01/11

Very good!

I enjoyed this piece of tongue-in-cheek instruction, although I'm not too sure about 'impacted'. Still a good read though - and I read it right to the end!

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by Firebrain02/01/11

*****

[plots article on making banana jewellery whilst giving blowjob] (Never mix those two up -- it's painful).

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by Noira02/01/11

Before complaining about "impacted"...

For anyone else who wonders: impacted means the action of one object coming forcefully into contact with another. Also, the effect or influence of a person, action, or thing on another person, action, or thing. It was a tongue-in-cheek way of saying "how are you going to ram your knowledge down the waiting mouth of your bitch, the world." It is exactly the word I meant to use, for exactly the meaning that it happens to have. I am not perfect; I do make some occasional errors. But if you stop reading at the first error, you're probably going to miss out on 95% of the stories on Literotica, because most of them are a literary wasteland; a desert of misplaced commas and caps howling under a mournful semi-colon moon.

That said, "impact your knowledge into" is a fairly common turn of phrase where I live. I'm surprised you guys seem so uncertain about it.

For the record. I did not mean impart. I meant impact. WONK. KER-KNOWLEDGE. Like that.

Thank you.

-Noira

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by Anonymous02/02/11

Me again

I'm the lurker who left the first comment. Thanks for the clarification. Just two of my own.

I checked my usage references (including Canadian ones) before I made the comment. Since the phrase "impact your knowledge into" returns zero pages on a google search (which would include a lot of informal writing) it isn't widespread. Not being snarky, just pointing out that it is at best a clunky phrase and more likely incorrect, both by formal rules and common usage. The sentence structure makes "you" seem like the subject and "brilliance" sound like the object being impacted, when commonly we'd treat "the world" as the object and "brilliance" would be the subject. This is close enough to common usage that people will assume you made a mistake. Had you used a word like "inflicted" it would have been clearer that you were being playful.

That said, you were not writing a story, where audiences are more forgiving as long as the prose flows, but a how to. In fact a how to on WRITING. Which means you are trying to persuade and instruct and any mistakes, glitches or oddities in your writing are going to detract from both your message and your credibility. When I edit, I generally counsel a writer to avoid "impact" as a verb unless it's absolutely called for, as it can be misunderstood so easily (as we have present proof). I am similarly reluctant to use "comprise," as about half of any given audience is likely to think you misused it even when you used it correctly. The bottom line is you would like people to consider your tips and not be distracted by odd language.

BTW, I did read the entire article and enjoyed it. But there are many who would stop reading at that point and I presume you would rather have them read on. My harshest editor used to ask, "Is it better to be right or be read?" I do appreciate the agony and sweat of writing and apologize for being so curt.

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by Anonymous02/02/11

Ouroboros

How to Write a How-To Write a How-To Write a How-To Write a How-To Write a How-To Write a How-To Write a How-To Write a How-To Write a How-To Write a...

Love It.

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