All Comments on 'The Sonnet She Will Always Remember'

by greenmountaineer

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  • 9 Comments
SweetOblivionSweetOblivionabout 13 years ago
Beautifully Developed

and artfully delivered - I really enjoyed this piece and trying to read between the lines S.O.

fridayamfridayamabout 13 years ago
Gorgeous images

delightful form. I love how you seek to pull gaiety from sadness.

AngelineAngelineabout 13 years ago
Excellent

Too much good to detail but overall a wonderful piece of writing!

vrosej10vrosej10about 13 years ago
Clever.

A good piece without preaching about divorce. Getting a recommend.

buttersbuttersabout 13 years ago
perhaps i need to return to this

i didn't get 'divorce' but illness and impending death...

however, skilfully done. having said that, and whilst i like the small touches like 'rubbed away window vapor' and (especially) the last lines, i'm left feeling this doesn't feel so very poetic. i don't know if it's because the title tells me it should flow a certain way, or that the first half feels more prose than poem, even though i understand a perfectly modern sonnet doesn't need to be all poeticky. sorry, gm, i am at a bit of a loss with this. i think it is more my approach to this than your poem, though :)

what does resonate with me, gm, is that sense of finding some small thing to smile about in an otherwise pretty bleak situation. THAT closeness, that sad humour, came through for me - clear as a bell.

bogusagainbogusagainabout 13 years ago
****

This might be cultural but I have a real problem with 'window vapour'. For me it explains too much and just clunks a little, if you just said 'vapour' the reader would have realised by line three what was meant. Maybe this is me just being picky, a small point but it hit me on the first line which is never a good place to hit anyone. ;-) Nicely written though.

twelveoonetwelveooneabout 13 years ago
*

Hi, just looking for Emp&co. didn't find 'em.

I guess I got to read the damn thing now, OK a 5, I hand them out like candy. Well, best I could come up with is "grey clouds forming" - ahhh.

Snow White in bed with a devil again. - this is a nice evasion of cliche

Esperanza_HidalgoEsperanza_Hidalgoabout 13 years ago
I left me with questions

and feeling empty inside, morose in a way--I read it four times and so much is good, but the tale is almost hauntingly sad to me--even theh jest makes it sad.

PoetGuyPoetGuyabout 13 years ago
A complex poem.

Poet Guy reads this as kind of a death bed erotic poem, perhaps because at his age he is a lot closer to dying than to playing Snow White in bed with the devil, though he might prefer to dream about the latter. He finds the poem both touching and, frankly, rather erotic. Not sad, though.

Poet Guy would agree with (chipbutty?) that the language seems rather prosaic, but feels that this is appropriate for this poem. A more lyrical language would not work so well.

Very nice poem.

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