All Comments on 'as you draw me'

"beyond rayed thought, convergent lines of all the will in all the world, mine"

I like the use of visual terms to represent a larger picture. Enjoyed! Think that the 5th line from the bottom could be broken into two lines, perhaps a mis-publication of sorts?

I strive for a state never to "need" to change a single aspect of a poem as it hits the page. Associations, form, rhyme, meter as an under conscious process, effortless. It is a goal.. and an oxymoron. Striving to be effortless? lol

I see what you mean about the longer line, the comma seems to 'beg' a line break. However the longer length was intended, no typo.

In my strange world of poetry punctuation has little to do with grammar. It is a musical notation. A slight pause in an otherwise rushing tumble of words.

I do see what you mean now that you point it out. Something to consider in the future. Nice comment.

Agree

but with who?

5

and I am drawn

penciled, into being

it's all i really take from the write, though. the rest kinda disappears off the page for me, like lines - rays of thought - radiating outwards out of sight.

the longer line works inasmuch as it reinforces the image of those lines (in or out), but bringing focus back into that point of convergence, but only when i take a good long look. i'm left, still, with that one phrase and it's all i'm really seeing or even care to see as it takes my imagination and runs! 'penciled into being'.

1201.. decisively zen-like and cryptic lol That earned a heartfelt laugh, always, a good sign.

A warm smile to chip. That whacked me between the eyes also. So starkly.. odd. Yet on closer examination, "penciled" has an obscured meaning.. of all places, in the realm of physics. Go figure