All Comments on 'The Last of the Modern Day Sin-eaters'

by greenmountaineer

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  • 6 Comments
vrosej10vrosej10about 13 years ago
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Hmmm, Green. I sort of get it. I think this one might be coming from the personal rather than the general so is hard to follow. You write so well though, so vividly.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
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whenever she bleached Fathers accidents

is a very good line. anon enjoyed your poem. gave it a 5

twelveoonetwelveooneabout 13 years ago
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(5) This is a nice effect that the fifth and seventh line of the stanza's are simple lines. As a sort of return for the reader, from what is obscure.

buttersbuttersabout 13 years ago
ritual magic, greenmountaineer

and so his sins might be consumed, in the eating and the drinking, that his soul may then lay at rest and not be wanderin' about, causing troubles to those still walking the green earth...

this does smack of the personal, and considering your recent posts why wouldn't it? it wraps a whole community of colour and habit around acceptance, time and the changes it brings to a society's habits...

solid 5.

obscure? i didn't find it so. a warmth and a chill both addressed? yes.

ishtatishtatabout 13 years ago
!!

Well written, most comments already made. Seems so personal I don't like to intrude.

bogusagainbogusagainabout 13 years ago
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If I'm honest I haven't a clue what this poem is about but that is not to dismiss it, I find the language intriguing and surreal, which is a good thing but makes it difficult to make a constructive comment.

One line that jolted was ....... "and dreamed how pretty she once must have been"...would she have dreamed how pretty she once was, wouldn't she have lamented at losing her looks?

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