All Comments on 'Legend's Victim'

I don't like where this is heading, heh, heh, heh.

Loved it!

my comment got dumped, so here it is again: VM, good concept, a retelling of Leda and the Swan, even if you tipped your hand too early to keep up the suspense. Thus, less than full marks, but a very well-written story nevertheless.

And as for swans, remember the old Oxford Limerick: "There once as a man at St Johns/Who attempted to bugger the swans/Cried the loyal old porter/"Oh sir, use my daughter/"the swans are reserved for the Dons."

As always your stories are creepy, weird, and disturb me. Great job and good luck in the contest.

Erotic Horror is a very difficult category. This was well done.

But...

There wasn't much or anything I could call erotic about it. The rape wasn't the "she secretly likes it" type. It was violent and unrewarding and horrific.

The story was well executed, but I didn't like the subject matter.

As already mentioned by someone else erotic horror is really rough to do. There's a book out called "On Writing Horror" put out under multiple authors with a section devoted chiefly on Erotic Horror. I'd advise reading it, it might prove helpful if you're going to stick around in the Erotic Horror section. You can probably find it around pretty easy. This isn't meant to sound anal, but it can tell you a lot on how to improve your writing in the erotic horror genre, certainly more than I can. I like the genre, but so many stories in it just fall flat.

This story was well written, if a bit fast, but it felt weak and as already mentioned barely fit the erotic requirement of erotic horror. Didn't really feel the horror much either. Overall the writing was worth more than the storytelling was.

This also seems to fall into the repetitive inclusion the element of rape. Monster/Apparition/insect/werewolf/vampre/whatever rapes girl or more rarely a guy. Its done. Often.

Didn't catch any grammatical errors though I'm far from the best judge of that, but I still want to make it a point to give kudos where I see them.

The end was the best part and creepy.

I'd say give erotic horror another go, but read some more erotic horror before you give it a try again.