All Comments on 'Keith Ch. 01'

by LaLaLou

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  • 19 Comments
vestspetvestspetalmost 13 years ago
Great start to an intriguing storyline

Why are werewolves being arrested? Why is Keith being set up by Adam and who does Keith meet? And where was he being held? I'd love for these and other questions to be answered.

SunsilkWaterSunsilkWateralmost 13 years ago
Love it so far.

Love it so far; it shows the beginning of a very intriguing plot. I usually don't read werewolf stories anymore because of the same generic 'oh, your a werewolf and I'm a human twilight' overusage but you have me reading xD Can't wait to read more!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
Good start

I liked it. Looking forward to the next instalment

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago

I like it as a start. I hate that you put that bit about it being so bad we won't want to see more. Self-deprecating is one thing but to say it's coimpletly awful...well, have some more confidence than that. Doesn't make a person want to read on.

I like the start of the plot. I really like the interplay between the boy and his wolf. It will be interesting to see how they deal with their fate and whether the integrate themselves more or fight each other. Keep writing.

seeker71seeker71almost 13 years ago
Gotta know

I have got to know what happens next, so you must keep writing. Solid first submission, I eagerly wait for the next chapter.

uchenauchenaalmost 13 years ago
well damn

lol great beginning. i'm really interested to find out what happens next. lol

Happy Writing!

lovehurtslexilovehurtslexialmost 13 years ago
Ok?

It was ok but not the best. It was jumbled and unorganized, which made it hard to see who did what. :(

fairydust22fairydust22almost 13 years ago
Great first chapter!!

I really liked the beginning. It left a lot of questions that I'm very eager to have answered, so I'll definitely be looking out got chp 2. As for you not going to continue if it's bad, well I think that's all the more reason to continue. The comments will help you and each chapter will get better. Lol if you want proof look at my nonhuman story. The first few chapters sucked big time!!! But I still write to get the story out there. So what if people don't like it! As long as you do right! But please keep writing, I can't wait to read the next instalment.

avidreader_01avidreader_01almost 13 years ago

This is a good first effort, but you could definitely do well with an editor. I also agree with the comments below, don't worry if people don't like your stuff, just stay true to yourself and write for yourself and everything else will fall into place. Its hard enough just getting a story out there, but to worry about what readers will say/think is just adding pressure you don't need. So my advice, for what its worth-- you have a pressing story to tell? Tell it. Because at the end of the day no one can tell your story better than you can. With that said, I hope you'll write a second chapter :)

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
This sounds very interesting!

Keep it up. I really like how you started the story drawing the reader in. It's a great style. Looking forward to many more chapters.

SecretDeviantSecretDeviantalmost 13 years ago
Shows promise!

I definetly think you should keep going you have a very interesting plot and lots of questions to answer. I thought that sex scene was very awkward and the way him and his wolf act seemed weird too, but I'm guessing that will clear up in later chapters. Editors are great things and I look for more to come.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago

Its boring................. changing the plot was not really good enough........try something more drawing

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
nearly there...

i think it was a really interesting plotline and a wonderful cliffhanger ending that kept you wanting more. I think if anything grammar needs a little bit of work with the organisation of phrases, and if you could use italics or asterisks or something to show when his wolf is talking

LaLaLouLaLaLoualmost 13 years agoAuthor
Danke (:

First off, thanks for the interesting comments And feedback. Also the story did have bolds And italics but I'm pretty sure I messed something up somewhere down the line! I have written chapter 2 and am simply in search of An editor, hence the reason it isn't up yet. Computer access is limited currently. Sorry!

Contest4JenContest4Jenalmost 13 years ago

Ohh im excited to see the next chapter! I wanna kill Adam....poor Keith. This story had alot of potential, can't wait to see it all come out. Cheers :D

Shadow_EiShadow_Eialmost 13 years ago
Amazing...

I liked it and hoping for more. Feel free to allow Keith to at least hurt Adam once he gets out of that dark place of a prison.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
Loved it!!!

Can't wait for more!!

LanaLove93LanaLove93almost 13 years ago
Good

This is a pretty good story so far i think it might have the potential to be great hope to read more really soon

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
WOW !!!!!!

ARE YOU SURE THIS IS YOUR FIRST ATTEMPT ? THIS IS REALLY VERY, VERY GOOOOOD !!!!!!! PLEASE KEEP ON WRITING !!!!! I WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT !!!!!!!

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