All Comments on 'Dad Teaches Daughter'

But the sex is hot enough

It didn't turn me on, I think the dialogue was a little forced. Like what the other post said. Good story line, it was somewhat convincing.

Definately forced, clunky dialogue, I couldn't get into it. If you want to write good stories, you have to go into a little more detail and edit it a bit.

Daughters have the juiciest pussies, and give the best head.

good concept, however all the dialog seems very forced and artificial. Really need to edit this, it could be a good story if the characters didn't talk like friggin robots.

Perfect story and held my attention!

your vernacular needs work. try to get down how a 17-18 year old girl would actually talk

the dialog is forced and uniteresting.

also, whenever a new character speaks, use the TAB key and start a new paragraph

Cannot stress enough, the dialog is very, very forced, and choppy.

Basic paragraph structure would've improved the ease of reading this piece, but there is no flow, no style.

Also, sexy and it's variations (eg: sexily) is an adjective that needs to be used sparingly, as it can make your stories cheap and campy. Remember no one wants to read, "He pushed his long, hard, sexy, sex into her hot, tight, wet sex and they had sex"

There wasn't much to the story and the sex was pretty bad. It also made it seem like some random happening in the fifties because Christine kept calling her friends 'the gang.' Jim won't let her hang out with them because she's a virgin- he won't let her hang out with them because she's a dork!

...can't put my finger in it, :-) but this and a couple of your other stories read as a recital of an act. It's not explicit enough in feelings before or while in the act or descriptive enough of what is going where and what it looks like, smell like or feel like....sorry but I won't be checking you out in the future.

I agree with the other commenter in that I won't be checking you out in the future. This story is totally unrealistic. Your writing sounds as though English isn't your first language, either that, or you're very sloppy and do not proof-read your writing before you submit it. For the record, I am a girl who has always had daddy-daughter fantasies. You are clearly a man. You probably don't even have a daughter. Men tend to be extremely selfish when it comes to sex, and for me this story is exactly that. A daughter would NEVER use dialogue like you used here. The story should have more tenderness, more focus on actually teaching the young girl about pleasure - not just YOUR pleasure. If the daughter were a virgin, you couldn't just put your cock inside her without a little tenderness or care. This story didn't turn me on whatsoever.

This really didn't work as a story. It's stilted, unrealistic and laughable in places. I'm assuming that English isn't your first language from reading this, but even knowing that, it just doesn't work well.

unrealistic and stupid I DIDNT GET WET AT ALL!!!!!!! >:(

Yeah I didn't like it much either, seriously in these days, teenagers who are seniors in high school know more about sex than older people.

It's Well Worth The Time To Read.

Keep Up The Writing.

Looking Forward To The Next Story.

Great story, I wish more parents would talk to their children about sex. It is so much part of our life to educate them properly in doing it right than finding it out the hard way.

You should have quoted the age of her.your spelling is brutal and description in the story is awful.dont give up your day job