All Comments on 'Mary's Naked Camp Adventure Ch. 01'

Nice start, where's the rest of it, i would like to find out more about her adventures?

Tough to read; please use an editor, too many words left out.

I agree with another commenter. It would have been better if you had not left out critical words which left the reader to guess what you meant. Otherwise, an intriguing story.

Stilted, child-like writing that certainly doesn't leave one wanting more.

And writing such as, "She grabbed her towel and began to wipe all the excess water from her body. She wrapped it around her body as she headed for a mirror..." isn't exactly setting the world on fire. She began to wipe all the excess water from her body? No, she dried herself! And while she may have begun drying herself, you don't have her finishing that task, just beginning, then wrapping the towel around her.

And, please: "She stood in front of the door that lead back out to the camp." Led!!! "...the door that 'led' back out..." You 'lead' someone down a path, but once it's in the past, they were 'led'.

You need to work with an editor, and you definitely need to gain a better grasp of the English language.

Read this piece of shit. It makes no sense whatsoever; and it is just one example of the semi-literate crap scattered all through this story. It continues to amaze me that people who seem to have an interest in writing and storytelling, seem to have no interest in language. Fucking moron!

Five Stars and I shall read the rest.

Is it available in video format

This story is very imaginative and i loved it a lot

This is REALLY bizarre.

I found one of Mary's stories in a search, and was confused that not one thing was mentioned about what she looked like. Which, for an ENF story, is just counter-productive. It's supposed to be about the girl being naked and embarrassed, but she can't really be naked when, in terms of description, she looks identical to us clothed and naked. That being, a blank silhouette. And it's pretty hard to really tell she's embarrassed if we don't have any character with emotions and personality to apply that embarrassment to as readers.

So I looked at the dates of these Mary stories and I THINK this is the earliest one. I thought maybe you described Mary here and figured you didn't need to do so in later stories without it getting repetitive, but... Nothing.

The only thing you actually describe is that she has a "perfectly cute bottom," but... That's so subjective that we don't actually know what you think a perfect, cute, or perfectly cute ass looks like, since you never told us. I mean, I don't even think a "perfectly cute bottom" is even possible, since nothing is perfect, and flaws are what truly make things cute or beautiful. Besides, from the way the world interacted with her ass, it didn't actually fit my idea of an attractive ass, so that just took me straight out of the story.

And then I realized something. You said she had a "perfectly cute bottom" and that's the only actual part of her that interacted with the world in any measurable way. Sure, her feet were on the ground and her hands were manipulating objects, but only in the way anyone else's feet or hands would. No other part of her actually affected the world in any definable way that it might not others except her ass.

And that's when I realized you didn't just not describe Mary. You didn't describe ANYTHING.

You didn't describe what the camp was like.

You didn't describe what the forest looked like.

You didn't describe any of the other girls with Mary at camp.

You didn't describe the clothes Mary had.

The only thing you said about the panties she was given was they were white and made of cotton, but that doesn't describe what they actually looked like or how much of her they covered, which is a bizarre thing to not do when the point of the panties were to give her one single bit of cover.

Your story is completely devoid of description. So then... If it's an ENF story... how can people be clothed or naked when we have no description of either? How can they affect the world when any part of their body touching something requires defining its existence and thus giving it a description? If these girls are blank silhouttes in a cardboard set of a world... how can there be embarrassment when asset story models and default skins have no emotions we can recognize or personality traits we can use to define them?

How is this an ENF story when you seem to be deliberately avoiding any and all description that could possibly give the nudity or embarrassment any weight?