All Comments on 'Hidden Delight'

a pussy, that you are in love with? This, darling, is cliched garbage. I voted a three, I'm sure you can twitter enough of your friends to H it to the top list.

Clue, do you think you are the only girl in the world with one? Avoid the "I" you will be better off.

Visually stimulates through the strategic structure of words. Nicely thought out.

I's and my's are rarely an interesting subject and you have confirmed the maxim. I haven't left a score because I'm a kindly soul.

though written in a way that suggests there's possibility for improvement. my main problem isn't so much the I's, my's and you's (though they are intrusive) as the unoriginality of the phrasing even whilst it manages to avoid the boring vulgarities so often used. there's even room for those in erotic writing, but there's not a whole lot going on here that will engage the average reader ... the salivating hounds will no doubt lap it up, but not all readers are so brain-dead :)

if written for a specific individual already panting after your persona, or one who genuinely likes as well as fancies you, then i do not doubt for one moment that this will mean far more to them, and be far more arousing, than it will be to the more excluded reader.

it's all a bit dull, sorry.