All Comments on 'Open Relationship Gone Awry Ch. 03'

the author has recently been operated upon for testicular cancer. please excuse this piece of crap.

Sums it up pretty well.

It's a really fun series so far. Dirty, messed up, definitely a winner.

I am done with this series....I had hopes that it might be different, but just another wimp husband/boyfriend who gets walked all over by his "loving" girlfriend and her stud.....I could hope that you would give him a set of balls and he would bail out, instead you just make him cave in to her and Michael. So.....I'll cut my losses and go onto to something less sick!

Are you going to Gank this sociopathic predator or what? Michael needs to die by the hands of his victims or worse, castrated and forced to live a life w/o his magic wand and his two kiwi fruit. To work at muscle beach in a gay bar in Laguna Beach. Ca. while wearing a pink tutu with matching ribbons in his hair. Sorry to say but I agree with the others that it is already too late for Katie. She is collateral damage. Once a person experiences the ultimate high they will go through life bouncing from relationship to relationship trying to get that feeling back and never being satisfied again. Unless she was raised to defer from immediate physical gratification to obtain long term life goals. By her behavior thus far I seriously doubt that. Oh, good writing style, by the way. The story is a little extreme and depraved but in my line of work I've dealt with worse.

Sould not have been posted to LW.

Like this is realistic. This is nor the way a man would react in this situation. Only a man with low self esteem and a man whose brain had an IQ of 20 would react. Just because you say he is smart does not make him smart. A realistic story would not have him reacting this way. So what am I doing: I am criticizing your writing. A good plot is realilsitic. Everyone is treating him like a moron and he is acting like one. I agree with the other "critics" that you have driven this plot into the ground and should bury it now. It seems no one can write a cheating story where there are in fact real smart people who have real normal, human responses to the situation. On the grave stone you can write "OOPS".

Seriously, is she a fucking stock market genius? Is she Martha Fucking Stewart in the kitchen??? What is so good about KAtie that he needs to stay with her...what does she bring to the relationship?

This purile attempt at fantasy should stay in the garbage...with its author.

I hope that Michael and Katie both have to pay and that Michael is made incapable of continuing with what he's been doing. Otherwise there's no point to the story.

I have to say I'm thoroughly enjoying the feedback on these stories but the commenters must have very monochromatic reactions to events. David and Katie have been together for some time, they are planning a wedding and a move when David completes his dissertation. Katie clearly has a side and fantasies that she's kept from David but which are now starting to come out. David, a science geek, is suddenly having to deal with competition in a way that is unfamiliar to him while at the same time holding some share in getting into his current situation.

I guess anon must also have very brief and superficial relationships because David's unwillingness to throw away everything due to the events of a single weekend seems utterly foreign to some of the commenters. How much of his life is he willing to cut loose? How much is he willing to salvage if it is, in fact, salvagable?

What I read in most of the comments is the desire for control. The complaints are that the main character doesn't immediately act to restablish control of his woman and life even going so far as to suggest courses of action that would literally destroy his future. Is it unrealistic for someone who has spent his life solving problems with his mind to suddenly begin acting impulsively or violently?

I may not be communicating some aspects of the characters optimally but that's part of why I'm writing these; so that I can develop better creative writing skills. So thanks for the feedback even if you hate the story.

I came back to this story because I thought your hero would grow a pair balls... I guess not!

but I'm enjoying this. Too bad that it looks like his fiancee is gonna make him taste the bull's cock. This part I will not like.

Can't say as I like this kind of story, because my first reaction is .45 caliber, but you usually go to prison for that, even if society is much better off because of the human debris removal factor. Seriously, he needs to move on with his life and leave his slut fiance to her own devices. Yeah, someone will end up with an attractive woman, but she is not worth having around because of her idiotic devotion to an oversize prick and her new attitude towards David, which will never return to what it was.

This story looks pretty much like a lost cause, but I might check in later to see if he got some male hormones, or is just another reject.

Thats all i have to say

then he and his girl with both be Mickys fuck toys. Are a also gay because you have alread told us in your name that you are blind. And where is the 'Loving Wife'. This should be in the group or gay catagory.

Even GEEKS have balls. This man has no balls and is a weak willed spineless cuck. If that was your intention then well done you have written the perfect non man wimp cuckold character and his female companion is nothing more than an evil coniving bitch. I actually felt sorry for him after the first chapter now I just feel pity for him and sick when thinking about his girlfriend.

It is not about taking control of his woman, it's about taking control of his life. A science nerd should have enough brains to avoid a bad situation. The only thing he has to throw away is vile woman who will probably destroy his future. If he was using his mind as you put it he would walk away. Aren't there more fish in the sea? He has no sense of self preservation. He is pretty pathetic also. I think you know that.

Kind of weak for an ending chapter. No resolution.

. . . and plenty of it of several stripes. At least this is well written kink and I for one appreciate that much. I will keep reading as long as you keep writing.

Author, you should come out of the closet.

@denny crane: I don't intend for this to be the final chapter and will probably wrap it up in another chapter or two. At the moment, however, I'm enjoying the projection and consternation of some of the commenters while considering which direction I want to go.

@RHinSC: You make some good points but my experience with people is that they hang on to a familiar but bad situation far longer than someone on the outside looking in would expect. K asked for the more open and D agreed while M is manipulating the situation. K is going to be more sexually open with M in terms of fantasy than she had been previously with D since she isn't worried about scaring him off with some kink but the manipulation of the situation by M and her misinterpretation of D's reactions have exposed some things to D that she'd previously kept hidden. Regarding intelligence, nobody can predict all potential negative consequences especially when their own desires are clouding their judgement. The wisest move may be for D to just walk away but think about your friends and relatives, how frequently do they take the wisest path?

You are already blinded with stupidity. You write fairy tales as if they were reality.

let's hope he transfers some to the story...

Can't be that bad satan and his bride like it, who is that you ask, why none other then those two old sickos Bobnbobbi.

The author wrote:

"Is it unrealistic for someone who has spent his life solving problems with his mind to suddenly begin acting impulsively or violently?"

No, not really. I've known guys, geeks or not who would act this way or similar. It can be a good story of how one deals with their submissive/masochistic side and given that many men these days are raised to be sensitive and not so dominant, its realistic.

Its just that this story line is really played out in erotica lately. I find them usually amusing reads though, just for how silly they often are. All the cliches have been done and in most cases, even the stereotypical nerd is gonna say, "hell no" to putting up with that nonsense unless they're married and neck deep in it.

Good luck with your writing.

-Hexxed

Thought this was going to turn out to be a good story but just another cuck line and there are enough of those lately. No need to watch for new chapters, this one will stick with me long enough to revile each time a new one shows up. Really ought to put a warning at the beginning of the story as to the direction you plan to take it.

This story just gets more fetid with each line.

Look asshole, the dude would be easy to take down and stop. He'll just hit him with a fucking car. Going to prison would be better than putting up with this humiliation.

Clearly this author is one of those wimps who get off on overwhelming humiliation. They won't let the guy get a single break, only failure after failure.

Just a complete waste of time reading any more since the author will never ever make this an honest story, all he will do is set the guy up and then make him fail.

He's not gay, but just wait in thenext installment he'll willing take it up the ass and won't be able to stop himself.

A honest story would have saw the idiot slut kick out into the street and the asshole called out.

This story is in the wrong category, for starters. I agree with the other reader who mentioned Gay -- it sure is heading in that direction. Or maybe Fetish. Obviously, David is like the moth and the flame. He keeps heading toward it despite the inevitability of getting burned. His "fiance" does not love him. Anyone who loves another would not wish to inflict humiliation and pain (and mockery and all the rest) on their loved one. Michael is clearly sadistic.

And despite nerds being timid when it comes to physical confrontation, they are not stupid once they reach the stage of a steady, sexual relationship. David's behavior fails the smell test. His "fiance" is not interested in intercourse with him, ever again. She is putting 3 fingers into his asshole, getting him ready to be fucked by Michael, who swings both ways. But first he'll need to clean Mike's dick after it has fucked his "fiance" for a few hours.

This story so far is replicating the formula of a wimp cuckold male who loses his woman to the alpha male. Let's face it, David gains nothing if he marries Kate. He won't be able to trust her, she'll probably have another man's children (and David will get stuck raising them), and he won't get sex other than as a sub -- mostly masturbation, the occasional BJ, and receptive anal. Even a timid nerd knows that's not for him. In real life, such a one would walk, mark my words. And there are serious gay undercurrents in this story that cause me to wonder if the author is a closet gay despite the "straight" label in his bio . . .

But whoever finds this erotic is really fucked up, this is gay puke.

these sissyboys for writers.

and I'm by no means a knee-jerk hater who shouts insults at writers. But the part of the story where Katie, while giving him a blow-job and fingering his ass, gets him to confess that he likes being submissive seemed like utter bullshit to me.

I've been very turned-on before, and no one could make me say things I didn't want to say even if I was about to come. So unless where you're heading is that he really IS submissive and wants to be under Michael's thumb--which is NOT the way the conversation with Michael's roommates went at all--then that scene just didn't convince me.

Still, I will read the rest, and look forward to seeing where it goes.

Thanks, ohio

blindedwithscience,

the guy is everything but smart.No sane woman would trade a safe relationship for a instable character like micheal.Even with a dumb pet like David.

and please, she kissed him with cum in her mouth and he got a hard on?She puts 3 fingers in his ass?Its a LW tale?Sadism, domination and gay.Nothing to love till now.

Yelena Y.

already one of the best on literotica...looks like you touched a nerve...all these desperate people wanting to take your story down haha

it's awesome!! i hope you continue it

I like your sense of humor and how you write but my God give David some balls to kick Michael's ass!!

You have him react violently then instead of confronting Katie he just sits around waiting for her to wake up and makes her breakfast. Excuse me?! She pushes him around to "please him" (when really she probably knows what's coming and wants to shut him up).

This is a great series and I can't wait for more. But I do understand where some of the criticism is coming from.

- This really doesn't belong in Loving Wives. Putting it here is just trolling.

- It seems really odd that there's been no verbal tension at all between David and Katie between them when he is so upset. Either develop why he is so unwilling to protest at all or develop why he is unwilling to do so.

- The anal fingering scene was a little off. It felt very forced. It was a good idea, but I think it should have started off a little more gradually with more description of David's reactions.

I look forward to reading more.

Blinded,

I've really enjoyed the story up to this point, well, even up to the point where David came home and took care of Katie, cleaned up and made breakfast, and then up to the point where Katie started to tell David that he's a sub. I've enjoyed the rationalizing on both of their behalf into having an open minded relationship, am OK with the kind of person that Michael is (for some reason, I keep picturing Timothy Olyphant..not too sure why) as it makes for an interesting foil for David. Katie is hot, a little more complicated as a character than I would have expected, and I've loved the mental images that you've created while she is getting fucked and ravaged. I feel sympathetic towards David and really want to like him as a character, but with the conclusion of this chapter, I find that feeling fading a little. To tell you the truth, I actually came away from this chapter disliking the characters more than at any other point in this story so far. I'm pissed at Michael because he seems to be breaking up this couple, has done so in the past, and shows absolutely no remorse for it (although this does seem to be the one character that has stayed as true to his original characterization as I can think of). I'm a little more Pissed at Katie, because I can understand her reasoning for thinking about an open relationship, I love the fact that she LOVES big cock, especially when someone who can use it well is attached to it, and don't mind the fact that she seems to want this second relationship to go on, because even though it's breaking David apart, he hasn't said anything about it. I SO wish that you had more sex between Katie and Michael, and would have loved to get a description of him taking her ass for the first time. I'm undecided how I feel towards Katie being completely fooled by Michael into thinking that David loves what is going on (the phone call) and want to see how this plays out. All this being said, I can't my head around the conversation she had with David while she was sucking his cock\fingering his ass. David really hasn't shown any sort of submissive qualities in the story thus far (open relationship was about him getting to expand his horizons, he didn't speak up when he was questionable about what Michael was doing with Katie, because, as Michael said, he didn't want to be "knocked the fuck out", and left the apartment rather than watch his fiancee get fucked because he couldn't stand watching it any further, but didn't try to stop it because of the agreement he had with Katie) and this part of the story seemed forced and slightly ridiculous. The finger in ass (even multiple fingers) was not a problem, but having her tell him he's a sub because Michael suggested it, and then suggesting that Michael would like to give David a Special Treat, when David seems to have never had any homoerotic thoughts seems weird. But I am SUPER PISSED about David. All he seems to be doing is moping around thinking of what is going on. Yea sure, the majority of the story has only happened over the course of about 34-36 hours (minus the introduction in chapter one), but I mean come on, he's been called a sub by Michael (by proxy) and Katie (to his face) and taken Michael's phone back to his place (where he very well may have had a face to face confrontation with the man that is fast becoming his nemesis). I know he loves Katie, but he hasn't even taken a sniff of using his side of the agreement to find another girl to fuck in front of Katie.

Besides the sub issue of the last half of the chapter, my one other problem with your story so far actually doesn't have anything to do with the story itself. It's pretty well written and the characters are engaging (I sure as hell wouldn't have been writing for the better part of a half hour if not). It's to do with length. The submissions you've been providing are right around the single page mark, but your updates have been anywhere between a week and (what is going on) two weeks. While I know that people have to have a life and since I am reading your story for free I shouldn't be complaining, but the fact is that your stories and writing style make this to be very difficult. You left the first story with David feeling uneasy after watching his fiance just finish blowing a massive cock that's attached to a person that he despises. You left the second story with David's heart broken, angry, pissed off, and sad after his fiance basically gave her body to the man he still despised and now resented for giving her something he never could, no matter how much he wanted to. And now you've left the third chapter with his fiance changed into what seems to be a more domineering and forceful attitude (which didn't really feel natural), David not able to tell Katie how much he dislikes what is going on, but going along with it anyways (again, doesn't feel natural), and the nagging feeling that in the near future David is going to be used by Michael and Katie, and not because he wants to, but because he feels that this is what Katie wants. You've been leaving all your stories on down notes which really puts a sense of unease on the series, and I'm guessing the rating of your stories low. Now I'm guessing with the tone of the work that this is what you have intended to do, which isn't a problem. Well, it wouldn't be if it were in a book, because you could keep reading ahead to find out what happened. As I said above, the three chapters only occupy about a day and a half so far, but we're not given the chance to see if David will come out of his shell and say anything, or start his own side relationship, or if he'll continue on this path and become a slave for Katie for no other reason than because she wants it.

People want some sort of hope, especially for characters they care about. If the main message of your story is that ultimately "David lets his girlfriend get her way and everything turns out horribly for David, and maybe even Katie", than fine, it's your story and you can have the message be whatever you want it to be. But read (or watch) any good piece of fiction, whether it's erotic or not, and you will find that just because it is a dystopian future, or a horror movie, or whatever, the main character gets to have little victories. Even if they mean nothing in the end, little victories give us a chance to be happy and cheer for the main character. Maybe if this chapter had ended with Katie going for a bath and inviting David to go with her and kept the "Deliver phone to Michael's place" scene for the beginning of the fourth chapter, or had David been walking back home and met a really nice girl that provided a spark, maybe I wouldn't be so bitter about the last half of this chapter. Like I said, I LOVE hearing about how much Katie loves being fucked by a big cock (a side story from her perspective would be hot), but David is your main character and all that's been happening to him is that he gets shit on. And then it stops shitting on him and he starts to crawl out of the shit when more shit falls down. This doesn't make him a more sympathetic character. It just shows how good he is at getting shit on.

In either case, I DO want to see what is going to happen with the series, I'm just afraid of where it may go. Many hopes that future chapters arrive quicker!

-FB3000

This series is great and I can't wait for more! Much better written than most similar stories. I hope the delay is because you are busy rather than on account of the vitriol in some of the other comments.

good stories!! thanks

This story belongs in fetish (cuckold) or BDSM. There is nothing "loving" about this.

more like blindedwithstupidity, this was the dumbest piece of crap out there.

wish you would continue it

Keep going! This is one of the best stories ever. Please!!

Another fag story. Did they run out of room in the gay section and so need to post that crap over here?

He didnt grow a pair. Just another fucked up fag story... Nothing about a loving wife or fiancé in it. A woman that screws another guy and tells you she loves you is a lying whore.

Don't write anymore. I thought you would give Dave balls but you didn't

.

Fuck you

an ex is best here, and learn for the future

..Dave doensn´t get ball, but how could he? It takes an author without balls, without selfrespect to write stuff like this.

The problem is: You´ve git to start reading before realizing that it´s just another wimpy cuck story..too bad.

If that was your ending I'm very disappointed. Nor a bad story, although I hate cuck stories. Girl deserves to be burned somehow; but Mr. Cocky Big-Dick deserves it more. Perhaps his past conquests need to band together and obtain some pay back. Think about it.

Why would he have second thoughts? She has shown her true colors, you aren't married so it's easy to dump her and costs you nothing. Great for you!

Move out. Tutor major football players and get them to break a finger each time they find out he fucks someone else's girl.

Should have been that last comment.

Not worth reading this junk -

Of course he downloaded all of Michaels' phone pictures to his computer then deleted them right? He dumped Katie, right? Then, with the help of all the other guys that hated Michael, he got some revenge, right? Because this story wasn't very well conceived or written and unless you wrote another chapter where Katie and especially Michael got severely punished, this whole thing adds up into a pile of crap.

I would guess: a potentially homosexuall cuckold who puts down on paper what he´d like but couldn´t live out.

Another writer trying to win the contest "King of Wimperotica"

As Michael left the apatment he got in his car and drove. Leaving the slut and the dickhead to die of whatever STD they contracted. He mt a lovely quiet country girl. They had 4 kids and lived happily ever after. Never giving the slut and the dickhead another thought.

When is Lit going to make a rule about not letting authors post unfinished stories?

A particular part of the story doesn't make any sense. Somewhere about the point where she is shoving fingers up his ass and squeezing his balls and talking shit. The story doesn't make sense from then on out because, logically, she'd have a bitch of a time talking with a broken jaw, squeezing balls with broken hands, and her fingers would be jammed up her own ass at that point anyway. That's assuming that she would have even been in the house at that point, since a sound minded husband would have thrown her nude out the window. That's my thinking, anyways....

Thanks for another unfinished story. However, it's obvious that David is turning into a bi-cuck so I'm glad I don't have to read anymore. Should have stopped sooner.

Just go suck some cock and stop writing you sick fuck!!!

If this is what's in your head get help then find a hobby, But not one that includes writing.

its no wonder his thesis is lacking, TK U MLJ LV NV

So glad you haven't written any more Faggot shirt stories. Hope your dead and died miserably.

Its appropriate for the Beta White male to accept his place and submit to pleasuring African Phallus. White wombs were built to be planted with potent Black seed.

I hope you died by a very painful cancer

No one in this story has any personal integrity or self respect.

Too bad that FTDS has stopped writing. This series would be a great one for him to complete.

Seems like a lot of work to go through not to finish.

Hands down, one of the stupidest stories I've read.

This series started out bad and went downhill.

As a bi-guy who enjoys exploring humiliation and sub-dom relationships I really want to see the next chapter and have loved the first 3 for years. They never fail to get me going.

....don't finish.this, what? story? Is that what this puny effort should be called? Junk by any other name still smells as sour. Apologies to the Bard.

This "effort" is a masquerade. Did'nt end soon enough

PLEASE FINISH THIS!

Just no. Another writer getting their jollies making boyfriend a spineless and pathetic wimp while making his girlfriend a narcissistic slut. How many stories do you need to write to fill your need to be humiliated and disrespected? Are you such a moron and loser than this is want you aspire to? No real person puts up with this total BS and to keep pushing your membership in the Cuck a Doodle Do club onto the world only makes you even a sadder loser.

No real ending to this. Why does David act like a sub bitch? Does the author think that all science nerds are bisexual or something? I have a perfect revenge fantasy to teach Michael a lesson . . . .

yes, Michael needs several late night mysterious beatings, muggings, every month

U r one disgusting specimen! Should change ur bio from male to gelded feminised POS

duh

I loved it! But, I would have stopped it at the moment he returned home. Then again I and my wife aren't into that kind of thing. We both love watching each other have sex with others, we're just not into humiliation and anything to do with homosexuality, we're both very straight. There's enough humiliation in just watching your significant other having sex with anybody but you.

Yup, I hated it as much as most of the commenters.