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Locked in with a Succubus Ch. 01-02

bymanyeyedhydra©
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Comments (13)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous05/17/11

well then...

someone needs to review how long chapters normally are... on that note even can someone do a word count? did this just make the minimum or something?



other then the very hinted points about it being very short, its an interesting start...

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by Corpse_rider05/17/11

Sucker for a succubus

Intriguing start. George, as a character is a bit underdeveloped. Some background information on him would help the reader form a more solid image.

"I'm a prostitute," Nicole said, absolutely straight-faced and without a hint of shame. "Men pay money to have sex with me."

- delete: "Men pay money to have sex with me."
unless George is under the age of 10, or your worried the reader does not know what a prostitute does.

good luck with the next chapter.

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by Anonymous05/17/11

I think it would've made more sense, if you put up the wohle story at once, since the single chapters are not relly good as standalone pieces. I'd say "one sex scene per chapter" with chapter as "single piece of work put on the site" is what the readers expect. With the bit you've posted now, it doesn't even really make sense to put it in the "non human" category. (And yes, I've read the story on your blog.)

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by manyeyedhydra05/17/11

I'm trying something different...

...short chapters with a faster turnaround time. Yeah, I could hold off until it's done and put up a single 20,000 word story, but it would lose something. You'll understand what as the story unfolds (and it does get a lot hotter!)

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by Anonymous05/17/11

great to see you writing again :-)

looking forward to more :-)

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by funguy74m05/17/11

Wanting to read more.

Great beginning. Got a question. Have you ever thought of putting yourself in a story with a one of your many succubus characters?

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As a succubus and having expected someone that probably knows what she is, spelling out that men pay to have sex with her is completely in character, after all, who would expect a succubus to charge for sex?

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by mBrow05/18/11

Brief start, but promising

Yes, the first segment is short. Why is this offering titled as Ch. 01-02, when it does not even fill one Page on Literotica?

But I do enjoy MEye's stories and look forward to more!

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by Anonymous05/18/11

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MASTER IS BACK !!!!!!!!!! Please, say hello to Phill. I miss him. Love your work. Seattle, WA

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by mjm20203605/18/11

I'm loving this one...

I've read all of what you have already put up on your blog and can't wait to read what's going to happen next. I'm glad you're posting this on Literotica, too.

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by ill_eat_wince05/20/11

Love it

Great story as always. Been reading it on your blog and check back often for new chapters. Also check back to look for a new summoning chapter.... Can't say much though. Haven't put out a new chapter in a while. As you said on your blog you were worried about lack of sex. In all honesty, that is not why I am your fan. Your stories themselves are amazing.

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by jonmartin2205/31/11

wahoo!

hurrah. Welcome back!

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by Anonymous12/29/12

Good start, interesting characters!

Hi, I think you have a gift for storytelling, and setting up interesting conversations between characters, which I admire. Thank you for sharing this story.

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