All Comments on 'Lore of the Angels Ch. 02'

You make this world seem so real. Damn! The intrigue and suspense for what's next is gonna keep me coming back for more!

This story is so amazing! I'm soo hooked! can't wait for more updates!

even this one is awesome. Cant wait for next chapter. It is better and better.

The characters are very well described. I love how the story is shaping up. Thank you, cqnt wait for more

I am happy as hell to find another chapter of this amazing story has been posted early, and even more excited that chapter 3 is right around the corner. Thank hun.

I've got lots of questions and I'm looking forward to watching the answers develop. Still some tense switching; a little bit of present thrown in there. It's distracting but not terrible. I'm looking forward to Ch.3.

read this chapter yesterday and didn't have time to leave a comment. I wanted to make a point of coming back and leaving a comment because I think you deserve some praise. You are doing a really good job w/your first story. You are keeping just enough back that I am eager for the next chapter. Just keep telling a good tale and the finer points of writing a story for publication will work themselves out.

Interesting take on angels. Can't wait for more.

Its just ao badly written. Sentences that don't flow, constant tense changes, and dialogue that seems out of place. This needs an editor, a good one, badly. I know its unrealistic to expect good writing on a free smut site, but when you write something that is focused around the plot, it needs to be written well. I continue reading in the hopes that it will improve, with the fear that it wont.

Despite the technical horrors, I find myself enjoying this story greatly. In particular, I've taken a shine to Aria as a character. When she told off Zillarezko, I was powerfully reminded of one of my favorite literary passages:

``You are mistaken ... if you suppose that the mode of your declaration affected me in any other way, than as it spared me the concern which I might have felt in refusing you, had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner.''

Not to put your work on the same level (no offense), but the tone and impact of the scene was remarkably similar. ^_^