All Comments  for

Deflowering Gemma

byWonderotica©
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Comments (15)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous06/13/11

Most of this just seems like unbelievable bragging by someone trying to over compensate for something. We get it, in your story you are Hung lime a horse, we got it the first several times you mentioned it. Pull back on the fantasy and make it a little more believable and. please watch the spelling.

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by sensualwhispers06/13/11

oh please........

This story had huge potential but instead it was a waste of time. There is no such word as cummed, you should have used came. Yes we know you have a huge cock but we don't need to read about it on nearly every line. The English language has many and varied words to describe things please use them.

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by Anonymous06/13/11

Fantastic story

ignoring the spelling mistakes, this is a pretty hot story and actually had developed characters to go along with the sex scenes, loved the ending as well.

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by Anonymous06/13/11

GET an Editor

Go back to school and learn to spell, learn grammar and think with your mind, not your dick.

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by Anonymous06/14/11

so much potential

get an editor, please!!

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by Anonymous06/15/11

Awesom story one of the best I've ever read and I've been reading on Literotica for 3 years now. Thanks so much for sharing.

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by Anonymous06/16/11

Same old

Another teenage jackoff fantasy of being the stud he will never be, the big dick he will never have, the virgins he will never deflower. Ho hum... boooring

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by barepusslover06/17/11

Hot!!

Loved the storyline and ending. Please continue to write, however enlist the help of a good editor to help with grammer and spelling. :-)

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by Anonymous07/07/11

MORE

Continue this story!!!

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by Anonymous07/20/11

good story write agian

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by Anonymous07/30/11

So yet another male writer who thinks the hymen is inside the vagina? I assume that's what you mean when he 'met resistance' when he's already inside? Have you ever had a virgin? You may want to do some research before writing another story involving virgins. Just FYI if you can't be bothered, the hymen is at the entrance, not inside.

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by PhoenixCodes11/17/11

A true critique

While clearly a solidly 'fantasy' setting, this is well written for what it is. The main faults are the spelling and grammatical mistakes, even after the author has already gone through and fixed it himself, and the repetitiveness of description. Both these things would be fixed by a good editor.

Despite these faults, the story easily arouses. The writer is medium to fair at describing the sexual encounters, but has squished too many too close together - He provides an sex-packed fantasy erotica. While good, it is just 'one of many' out there, offering nothing truly special.

However, this author could take the work and rewrite it, starting younger, and ending after meeting Gemma. The story itself shows potential for becoming one of the 5-star novels on Literotica.com, however I have my doubts that this author would ever be able to take it to those heights.

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by Anonymous02/14/13

great story

Keep writing

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by Anonymous04/19/13

misinformed

Obviously you don't know what happens when someone's cherry gets popped. It's called a cherry for a good reason. When the fruit is squeezed and "popped" you know what comes out? That's right, red cherry juice. Not cream. I don't know who you've been fucking but when a girl's cherry is popped, she bleeds. And not to mention cherries don't pop easily, hymens are there to protect the vagina, you have rip the skin in order to "pop the cherry". I know when mine popped I bled. And I bled everywhere.The guy actually who took my card was just like this guy, a renowned cherry popper. He was a downright a-hole. But seriously, the amount of unrealistic content was ridiculous to the point where you could build up excitement but never get over the edge.

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by Anonymous04/29/13

this story is amazing and all you haters putting offensive comments up can go fuck yourselves

this story is amazing and all you haters putting offensive comments up can go fuck yourselves

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