by Tamara_Dane
Use some names in your stories, this sucks as well as the first one. Too many I this, I that. You this and you that. Very boring read. Take some classes and learn how to write.
You are starting off GREAT... and for your 2nd submission... it couldn't be better or hotter!! Keep writing, and we readers will keep cumming!! Ace
The writing doesn't flow very well; it's like reading a list of things that happened, rather than seeing it happen, which makes it difficult to enjoy the story.
Also, this should be in BDSM, as it is clearly fully consensual.
I don't know what people are talking about. I thought this was very hot. Thanks for sharing.