All Comments on 'You ain't what I imagined to be'

The best I've read today although one niggle I kept wanting to put another 'you' in after 'imagined' so the last line woud be more grammatical but then it wouldn't scan so well

so it was worth taking a read through. like UYS, i also found myself automatically adding an additional word to that phrase. is this another brit/american divide?

your opening line drew me right in, effortlessly. i like how you began each strophe with 'you were meant to be', as the poem illustrates from the off that this is about disappointed expectations... and speaks as much about the narrator's holding of these as it does about the one who disappoints them.

i'm ambivalent about the secondlines of each - part of me likes their usage, but another part feels they're overdone by a syllable or three. also, not enamoured of 'the midnight blue of the night'. it does the same thing - puts me on the fence with it. perhaps further read-throughs will make me come down one side of the fence rather than the other. right now, i'm a little *see-saw hand movement* about it.

Although I am much less experienced in meter and scanning ..to me there are missing words in this piece. However, I wonder if it was done on purpose? I like the contrast of edu-macated words and slang. I don't often run across "soporifically" ,oomph and ain't in the same context. Maybe this ain't what imagined to be :) nice job.

make me forgive "wanton splendour"

of grace, beauty, sensuality and oomph -

risky move, works for me, as a matter of fact, I wish I had thought of it.

What impresses me is the overall greeness of the poem, that disappears at the end. I would given it A 5. (if voting doesn't matter, turn it on) But look a "name."

Wonderful piece! Very well constructed.

At first, I thought maybe 2 stanzas would suffice, but with a second reading, I saw and heard much better "leafless autumn tree," so it worked for me quite well.

I might've taken l5&6 in S1 and re-positioned them or some variation of them in the last stanza.

I thought the single "You" worked well in the last line of each stanza because "what I imagined to be" in its entirety modifies "You" which then doesn't need to be repeated. Either is acceptable I think, and it may be that the Brits follow different rules of syntax here. Hmm. Interesting possibility.

Woulda been a 5 if you had voting turned out.

Extremely valuable and insightful comments. Appreciate all of 'em and much obliged. Didn't understand "name" bit, the comment from 1201. Thanks again.

Excellent, and leaving out the 'you' makes it even better.

I might suggest this change, in the last stanza:

Whisper-like approach, impact dazzlingly bright.

Five.