All Comments on 'The Bet'

I had to drop a grade because you switched names of the ladies far too often. It breaks the flow for us. Please proof read better in your next story. Thanks for your creativity.

good story...lucky bastard!

Great read, would definitely like to see more of the story, I do agree with the Anonymous user, however, because towards the end you kept mixing the names up, while I can get around that, certain readers can't.. I'd either proofread or get an editor, otherwise you're off to a great start..

I double (and triple) checked and both ladies were were they were supposed to be. A bit hard to follow at times towards the end? Maybe, but it IS a threesome, so its going to be...

Very erotic and hot sex that made the story very good. I like the thought of them keeping the good sex going for the three of them.

Thanks for the read.

Thank you, midnightdeathwriter!

Loved it. I also re-read the story and found that the subjects where all correctly placed. No problem sorting them out at any point.

Maybe the commentor is just one of those people that did have some level of difficulty.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed the story very much.

It is a good, fun read with a great pace and flavor. Amazing isn't it how many men aren't into oral action? The payoff in affection and willingness for other activities would be enough, but I love feeling her lose control (to me) and gush in gratitude.

Thank you. Time to go limber up my tongue and lips.

Very good read. I look forward to more of this story.

Awesome story keep it going

Before you say again that you checked :-

'June admitted she was VERY happy to have lost the bet' - it was Beth that lost the bet.

'as I fucked Beth, and Beth ate her.' - I don't think that Beth ate herself.

This is only two of multiple examples. Yes, I can work out what was meant but it disturbs the flow of reading and is very sloppy.

I give it 3* as it would have been a better story if the writing had been better.

Nice

Definately needs to be Followed - up. There's too much going on in one Page to not do more chapter's. Maybe sis find's a guy or decides to have His Baby and make it a Triad Relationship.

dating my now wife i was backed into a corned by her sister, she caught us fucking and blackmailed us to let her jack me off, she was too young to fuck at the time. years later after her marriage broke up wife's sister moved in with us until she could find a flat to move into, one night she was headding for a bath and i jokingly asked if she wanted her back washing, she laughed saying "Yeah as if" as she was headding to the door my wife said "He can help if you want him too" that was the start of a two year relationship with my sister-in-law and wife. even now seven years later we still fuck a few time's a year.

Good story, decent writing, horrible editing. Get an editor, or at least a beta reader or 2 and fix your issues.