All Comments on 'Princess Ch. 03'

Dude you sure do know how to kick literary ass!!! Five stars and don't take so long with part four huh?

still way to many flashbacks the constant repeating gets boring and confusing and YOU BETTER START FILLING IN THE BLANKS YOU KEEP LEAVING. this whole story would have been 100% better if you had started from the begining and gone to the end from one point of view. you have a lot of explaining to do and you better keep them together or give a dam good reason why they aren't.

This girl who died on that road, who they miss so bad. The song he listens to is full of death. His nightmare is certainly linked to the dead girl. Who is she and how long has she been gone?

Loving this story. Can't wait for chapter 4

I won't repeatedly ask the same questions as others (No offense to you, I hope non taken) but I don't understand is how Stevie didn't even think about that he was cheating on Shelby. Okay, I mean his sister was the first to f*** him and I guess somehow, someway I see it a little fit for f***ing his sister as she came back. He didn't feel guilty whatsoever for screwing Heather and Evelyn? I find that to be a little sad.

Anyways, I love this story, but there are many,many things still left unanswered and I hope that the other chapters come out soon, i'm am just waiting in anticipation now.

Damn you and your great story! >:( ...... Well, have a nice day. ^_^

awesome work man.Been a while since i read one like this keep up the good work.Much appreciated.

And yea dont take long for chapter 4.Waiting............

I fully expect to have chapter four done by the end of the week. Real life keeps getting in the way and it doesn' t help that I seem to add something every time I proof read it.

SH

any new chapters????

I have had to start chapter four all over. My dumb ass didn't hav more than one copy of anything, so when my thumb drive got wiped out I lost the chap;ter and have to start over and try to remember all of it. Hopefully soon you'll read more of Steve and Maddie and Shelby's adventure....

SH

any new chapters????

Chapter four is in my new editor's hands right now and should be out in a day or two.

carefully. Otherwise the reader gets really confused.

Yes I agree it can be problematic and was in a couple of spots where the timeline jerks were uncoordinated - and made it confusing not easier.

The story is growing well though - the relationship with Maddie has great potential as does his relationship with - well every one else lol.

It will be interesting to see where Herb and Dianne take this before it is all over -

Well the dude is definitely a man slut hoe :). Bangs his sister and is all fucking in love, is banging Shelby on the side because they said that wad fine for now. He gets the text and voicemail crap and he never picks up the fucking phone and calls his sister to ask her what the fuck is up? Plot Hole. Brother and sister aren't calling each other once or twice a week to check up on how the other is doing? Plot Hole, damn!

Now he's pretty much exclusive (hah!) with Shelby and they're professing their undying love for each other... He goes over for piano lessons and bangs two more chicks. ...hey, I get that, but at least he could have thrown out a token 'I'm seeing Shelby steady now girls, you still want to do this?' Not to mention asking them to keep quiet about it and not blabber to their friends. (Hah! They were prolly on the phone five minutes later!). ...oh yeah, man slut/douche bag didn't even ASK if they were on birth control, just sQuiRt SqUiRt!! Welcome the newly ex-virgin to preggoville! ;)

...now going back and banging his sister I get, hell she's family! (As twisted as that statement is coming out of my mouth, lol). ...however it is mildly annoying that he didn't WANT to sleep, er fuck, his sister but didn't bat an eye at poking treble clef and bass clef on the piano! (Rolling eyes;)

Then there's the mystery dead girl. Then the mystery nightmares. Are they death premonitions of a car crash coming? Of a near death beating from sticking his dick in some other guys/daughters hole? Sisters ex coming down to kill him? That one's starting to annoy me!

....anyways, really enjoying the story so far, as much as I enjoy poking at the plot development tools :) (that was a noun, not an adjective, but hey...;)

Thanks for the hard work and thanks for writing! :)

I've read a few of your stories and found one thing that always shows up. For some reason you always leave out transitions in every story. The story will be flowing then it'll immediately jump into another situation. It's not that the story is bad but your stories would be loads better if you worked on it.

Well, I must confess there are two things I like about this story. First, the sex, and the details being very descriptive and steaming redhot, is never ending; and second is the convoluted atmosphere running throughout the theme and context of the story. I find myself scratching my head in wonder during the continuity (lack thereof) and jumping from one scene to another where there is no reasoning from the previous to the next.

It's very confusing that Steven "Stevie" has never had (hot steamy) sex prior to his eighteenth birthday...and suddenly every gaping pussy-hole wants him, his nine and half inch dick and his sexual acumen and pussy eating abilities!! He's smallish, not good looking and blase' in appearance...but the best looking women in his side of the world wants him permanently, seriously and constantly. I only wish I could have half his luck and pussy!!

There is no emotional attachments with any of the characters, although each person confesses their lifelong love and devotion to their sexual partner at the time they're getting their pussy pounded by Steven!! He and his sister Maddie (the Princess) have an unconventional on again and off again relationship now that he's of legal age, neither of them can hold their emotional attachment to the other past their roll in the sack; prior to Stevie reacing eighteen his sister Maddie could give a shit about her brother, and suddenly she's in love with him every week or so!! I'm very disappoint brother and sister can't hold the friendship and deep love consistently for each other!!! Although Shelby seems to be a good mix and partner for Steven, I am wishful the Steven and his sister build their relationship to a solid foundation of love, respect, attachment and consistently enduring--because I'm a romantic I relish a great love and emotional, sensual attachment and enduring incestual family-style life between the male and female, blood-kin partners!!

It's all about the sex. I am just bored with it. It just doesn't do much for me. I think I'll just try your next story.

A 68 barracuda with the hemi isn’t even street legal 383 was normally the biggest engine stock you wanted the hemi it was a super stock drag set up only with an acid dipped frame and body no sound deadening and a fiberglass front end and were kicked off a lot of tracks for being to fast so unless someone messed with it the nova would have had to juice it to win

Unfortunately,the more this story progresses the crapper it becomes.

MORE STORY AND LESS SEX. I SURE THERE'S A GOOD STORY HERE BUT ALL THE NEEDLESS SEX IS IN THE WAY. DON'T GET ME WRONG, I LIKE THE SEX SCENES, BUT MANY OF YOU YOUNG WRITERS USE SEX AS A CRUTCH TO HOLD TOGETHER YOUR STORIES WHEN LESS IS BETTER.

How come he hasn't shagged Brandi or her mother yet?.