All Comments on 'Logan and Lauren Ch. 02'

Five.

MORE PLEASE MORE

I don't really like how easily she gives in to him, but its an ok read

SO happy u chose 2 continue their story! can't wait 2 see wut happens w/these 2! PLEASE DON'T MAKE US WAIT TOO LONG!!!! :oD

I don’t like the quick 180 turn in the middle of the story. Why is it that strong female characters turn wonky when sex is presented…sighs. No offense but the story did take a nose dive before the ending I mean really sex, popularity, etc. well if that is her price I guess

I dont know what you were thinking...First of all you built Lauren up like she had a good head on her shoulders..but then in the next instant she is about to give up the booty for popularity?! Come on!! Write this story like I believe you can..get ur nut, cause writing this you obviously wanted one and revise this chapter or something,wtf!!!

Sorry about the 180, it's been almost a year since I wrote anything on this story and I've got to re-feel my characters out. Not a good excuse but I'm working on it. Thanks for all the feedback, positive and otherwise, that's what this site is for and thank you all for using it to your full advantage. I already have Chapter 3 written and it's kind of raunchy but I'm gonna try to fix it up for Chapter 4, if you guys will stick with me that long!

-Bizzy

even with the 180, this update rocked, great job

Goodbye

like the 180 at all, she bent to his will way too fast. The guy is an arrogant prick. You could have gotten them to the point of sex, which seems to be your goal, without Lauren being so submissive. She went from a very strong character to side kick material in not even a full day, and for what? Sex and popularity, two things she never cared about from the get-go. SMDH I'm still going to continue reading to see where this goes, but I am not happy about this turn of events.

I didn't think the comments were fair to the story fair enough Lauren gave in quite quickly but she gave into the lust how do we know she hasn't fancied him for ages and the prospect of someone really hot fancying her that she actually liked was to much, Explore the other options don't just assume bad writing.

I was preparing myself for a long sweet read and then suddenly the story just feels like a 'Wam-Bam-Thank you Ma'am'. But you're still a good writer though

get caught in the act of thinking it, then to have it come true is awesome for her!

I like a story that is not easy to predict ;)

LOLLl wooow wham bam thank you ma'am i like that, but yeah i agree it was toooo fast for me i still dont know what lauren looks like maybe i skipped it but after the "i smell ur wet pussy " and all that bull aftwards i can't continue this story.

Well your narrator has run into the dream she had and the humor of her situation makes the story fun as well as erotic. Again 5 stars and thanks for sharing.

....that was tight [yeah...had to go there and clean my hands afterward]. But hell, this chapter was just damn irritating in how improbable the conversation was between the characters. Oh....I forgot...they suppose to be HS students...give me a break! HS students dialouge and actions are mirror images of adults...they get it from tv and movies. So...the little girl would have been more firmer/reluctant to tell high and mighty white boy that she was having dirty thoughts and white boy would have been on his most charming, seductive behavior in getting into her pants, realizing that she probably was a virgin being he knows her brother and stepfather. Come on...give the reader our due as having common sense AND a sense of imagination! Let us in on what the male is thinking, planning, feeling. Shit! It's your universe and I'm just a Peeping Tom passing through. Pathetic...just plain pathetic.

She went from having standards and self respect to stupid, not believable.

noooo that was tooo easy he did not even have to work for it smh

A wet dream and a sex seen so quickly.. i think its just me something is missing, I'm not feeling this storyline thank you for sharing though...

You're too fast the characters are self contradictory and the plot is shit.too fast as well thr story development I mean.thanx for sharing but really this is crap