All Comments on 'My Girlfriend's Ass'

Have you heard of spell checker and proof-reading ? I think you have a little talent but this story needs both so the read is smoother and enjoyable . Good luck on your next effort.

You have the confidence to write realistic stories expressing true desires. Keep writing you have talent

a commendable 1st effort. However the 'anal' eroticism was lacking! Needed virginal resistance, to initial penetration!

The whole control thing was a bit much. Nothing was done for her pleasure, and were I in her place I would have found it demeaning and gotten a little bit angry.

You can't use Vaseline for internal use you dip shit

Your poor grammar and spelling mean the story is ruined and therefore becomes difficult to read. What is a tounge? Surely you mean tongue. Perhaps you should read through your story prior to submission and use spellcheck.5SZWhn